Visiting Washington

Last week I was blessed to get to spend the week with my dear friend from grad school and her family and close friends. Autumn and I flew to Spokane and drove down to the Palouse (I found out this is a geographic name specific to this place - meaning rolling hills). This trip was very filled with many emotions. Excitement, sadness, thankfulness, heart ache, joy, love and so much more. It was a wonderful trip - exactly where we were supposed to be.

This is the first time I've traveled back to this area since October of 2008 when I was there for Grace's Memorial service. I know it is not even fair to say this - as the great loss in that month was not my own - but that time in my life was undoubtedly one the hardest. Watching a dear friend go through the worst of losses here on earth - losing a sweet baby. The overwhelming grief and sadness - and wishing more than anything that I was able to give more support than I could being so very far away. I was so grateful for a window into my friend's heart through her blog - to feel close and connected to her when I was hundreds of miles away. I floundered to figure out how to be a friend in unspeakable grief. This loss quickly became a significant part of my life. I longed for communications and opportunities to love my friend. Tears frequently fall from my eyes as I pray for my friends and as think about the tragedy.

This last week was filled with joy and happiness in celebrating the gift of their daughter born in May. What a treasure she is. We got to soak in her coos, sleepy smiles, tender cuddles and sweet essence. What a blessing. To see joy and happiness on my dear friend's face as she tenderly cared for her daughter warmed my heart to the core. This incredible joy and happiness is a new chapter in life.
The emotions of sadness, grief and longing will forever linger. Sweet Grace will be missed forever and the dreams of what she would be doing will always come to mind. She'd be giving her tiny sister sweet kisses, hugging Autumn, getting excited about the birds in the back yard and crawling all over her mommy and daddy, as 2 year olds do. Monday Grace had her second birthday. I'm sure she had a grand party in heaven loving Jesus with a beautiful crown of gold. Here on earth she was missed and honored. With a lovely gathering of close friends, we honored Grace, remembered her with fondness, sang her happy birthday and cried out in grief that she wasn't with us. I was so honored to be there, to love, hug, cry, remember, and honor. I lack words to express the experience of the last 21 months, there really aren't words - only an ache. An ache that will really only go away when we all get to heaven and can all be together again.
It was sad to leave. I wished I lived closer. Again phone calls, emails and ecards will have to suffice, as presence isn't an option. Looking forward to the next visit!

9 months old!

Sweet baby - you are now 9 months old!

The last month has been one of so many smiles and so much joy. For the most part you are such a happy happy baby. You bring so much love to our lives. Just last night you played in between your daddy and I and gave us snuggles, kisses, goobers, giggles and so many smiles. We are so blessed!
This month you have started doing exciting new things! The biggest one being taking your first steps on your own at 8 months 20 days! We are both excited and scared about this new milestone! You are just not quite old enough to know what no means or what might be dangerous, so we have to watch you like a hawk. You are so busy! You want to check everything out - small, big, wet, hard, soft... you inspect and then taste! Just yesterday you clapped with daddy and you still love playing peek a boo! You are more consistently waving good bye and still like to give big toothy kisses.

Milestones:
Imitated "mama" "dada" and "au um"
Said Ella when looking at our puppy, and occasionally "repeating puppy"
Coming to us when we call for you
Cruising along the furniture
Took your first independent steps
Yesterday you sat up from my leg and walked 5 steps to daddy
You got your first bug bite )-:
Went to your first MLB game





Your Stats:
Height 26 1/2" = 75%
Weight 16 pounds 13 ounces = 12%
Head 17" = 25%

Foods you have eaten so far - quinoa, rice, oatmeal, spelt, barley, avocado, applesauce, apricot, applesauce, sweet potatoes, green beans, peas, carrots, banana, puffs, mango, soy beans, pear, butternut squash, acorn squash, cherries, blueberries, plain Greek yogurt, ground chicken, kiwi, potato, watermelon, and honey dew.
Keep growing big and strong! We are so proud of you!
Love,
Mommy and Daddy

The Busy Life!

Wow - the last week has been crazy busy and so good! Last weekend my best friend from the college years came into town and stayed with us with her husband for another good friend's wedding. It was so nice to get to see her and spend some time with her husband, as the only other time we've seen him was during their wedding festivities! Sunday we were able to go to a Rockies game all together. After they left Aaron and I both felt like Brian Regan had stayed with us for the weekend - he is that funny! (-: Our friend's wedding out at Ellis Ranch was lovely - she even came in on a horse drawn carriage - so romantic! Monday night we were able to spend the evening with friends in Fort Collins and other friends that had come into town for the wedding! Then Tuesday night we had dinner with Aaron's best friend and his wife who were in town from Myanmar! Also this week Aaron and his dad were able to move the pluming and electric for the washer and dryer - the first step for us t be able to put a toilet in the basement. Thursday we took off for Glenwood Springs for me to work the weekend and to go to my best friend from HS's daughters 2nd birthday party! I think this may be the last time for a while that we get to see so many of our closest friends in such a short time! (and baby Autumn did awesome with all the activity!)

On other fronts - my co-worker busted his ACL surgery and is having surgery again at the end of the month. Sad. Means there will be more hours to cover and big holes in the schedule when I'm out of town for the next 15 weeks. )-:

Next week I leave to go see a dear friend in Washington! I'm so excited to see her and meet her new baby girl! That and any moment my sister in law will be going in to labor to bring my nephew into the world! Praising God for all the miracles of life around me!

Life as we know it..

I haven't written much about life at our house in a while. To be honest it has been a bit of an up and down lately. We are very blessed and thankful for the life we have, just feel a bit beat down more often lately. The last month or two is seems that at least one of us is sick (which means some short nights with Autumn), we've been to 2 funerals (the sad but happy because they were ready to go kind), learning the new trials that come with Aaron running his own business and having friends that seem to be under attack with different things as well. I guess this is real life - struggles that have the potential to make us stronger.

On a brighter note - we are excited about the future God has for us. Although it means we have a somewhat erratic schedule, we are enjoying spending 1-2 weekends a month in Glenwood Springs with my parents. I've picked up some work there and we plan to help my parents with some projects around their home. This summer Autumn and I get to fly to Washington to see a good friend and then a month later to Baltimore area to meet my new nephew that is due very soon! After that we have a fun road trip planed where we start off with my 10 year HS reunion and then get to see quite a few friends up the west coast, surf and visit 4 national parks. To put a Cherry on Top we were able to use FF miles to book a 2 week business trip/vacation to Hawaii for $15! We'll take it - we are so thankful for the friends that will host us and sooooooo excited to have Autumn meet our friends as well as introduce her to Hawaii and the ocean we miss so much!

Past the summer... our life plan is currently to get Aaron's business so it self sustains our family, I'll continue to work PRN and make hats for the winter craft fair season and then we are going to try to be able to be on the Big Island or Maui for at least a couple of months between January and April each year. This plan is of course pending God's leading and income possibilities! We are hoping that this flexible lifestyle also allows us opportunity to see what God might have for us in regards to 3rd world missions - maybe going to the same location for a chunk of time each year?? We shall find out in due time!

Our Autumn Bear: we are both thoroughly enjoying being parents to our Autumn. Aaron gets to spend all day Mondays and Tuesdays with her while I'm at the hospital. She has become quite the mobile little girl - she can now cruise on her hands and knees and always has the objective of getting to something to either stand up or get into something she shouldn't. For some reason electric plugs, night lights, computer cord and the plug in carbon monoxide detector are the most appealing things in the house. We are learning how to baby proof the house, prevent visits to the ER and attempt to get her to understand what is and isn't for her. Fun stuff! It has been an interesting adjustment having to watch her like a hawk - not as much gets done around the house - that is for sure! In addition to the motoring abilities she is acquiring, she has started to repeat us more and I'm sure she called Ella - Elwa the other night. She also seems to be calling Aaron baabaa while patting his chest. Everyday she endears our hearts, gives us snuggles and toothy kisses - we are so blessed!

8 months old

Autumn, another month gone by and you are now 2/3 of your way to 1 year old! It has been a busy month with a bunch of new milestones! The biggest one - you are on the move - crawling everywhere and trying to pull up on everything!

You are busy, busy, busy but still enjoy snuggles. Recently you fuss for a few seconds when we put you down - even though you love exploring! Your little personality continues to blossom and you seem to know what you want! You love to stand up and make yourself as stiff as a board if we try to put you down. You enjoy dumping your baskets of toys and sorting through all the toys. You enjoy being read to and holding your plastic books open. Just yesterday you lifted your blanket up over your eyes and dropped it and smiled as if to play peek-a-boo like mommy does with you. You continue to like to pet and pull on Ella. Last week she brought her toy to you and you kicked and giggled while she bumped it into your feet. She however has becoming less tolerant of the rough petting and moves away when you reach for her. So far you have pulled yourself to full standing position independently in the pack and play, on mommy and on your high chair to another chair. You try to stand everywhere - even in the middle of the floor with your little butt straight in the air. You also love to talk - the other day you made ahh, ohhh, aye and yeah all the way to DIA and it made your voice hoarse! This last week we flew to Montana for your great grandma Brown's funeral. You were such a sweetie during all the many hours in the car and you enjoyed all your relatives. You even got the nick name Autty from Uncle David!

This last month has been rough for sleeping. You got a little cold and were up more often and that hasn't really stopped. This month mommy plans to try to rub your back instead of feeding you when you wake up at night to see if you can fall back asleep without night feedings. Currently you are sleeping 8-10 hours total at night and are up 1-3 times. During the day you take 2-3 short naps. While mommy is writing this you fell asleep in the middle of the living room floor on your own!
This month we also publicly dedicated you to God at church. This means that we promised in front of all of our friends that we will raise you with the knowledge that Jesus loves you and died for your sins. We also asked all of our friends to hold us accountable to be Christian examples for you and to love you with unconditional love! You were dedicated with your friends Aaron and Elias.

Your milestones this month!

Pushed up onto your hands and feet
Crawling

Prone (belly) to Sitting
Pulling to standing
Saying La la, ella ella, yeah, yah, and mmmm when kissing
Got your 1st two teeth - bottom ones
Had your first really solid poop
Got your 2nd hair cut
Drank from a straw
Played the baby piano
Went to your first 2 funerals - for our dear friend Marie Hoch and for your great Grandma Vi
Foods you have eaten so far - quinoa, rice, oatmeal, spelt, barley, avocado, applesauce, apricot, applesauce, sweet potatoes, green beans, peas, carrots, banana, puffs, mangos, soy beans, pear, butternut squash, and acorn squash. Your cousin Camry offered you a piece of her cinnamon twist, this was so very nice of her, but I declined for you (-: you will have to wait a bit longer for sugary goodness!

We love you our little Autumn bug!
Mommy and Daddy

Frustration

My baby is at that not so fun stage where she wants to be able to do more than she actually can. She wants to stand and run, this crawling thing is no fun! Unfortunately I can't hold her fingers and let her walk all day (well I guess I could, but yeah no...). I set her down and she yells at me and gets crocodile tears. No fun really for either of us. She does eventually calm down and will play with her toys - but it is drama every time we put her on her knees or bottom. Once she does settle down she likes to practice crawling, but spends a lot of time trying to stand! Last night she pulled herself to standing using my legs and shirt as hand holds! I think I've got a very determined little girl on my hands! I'm happy and scared at the same time - as I think she will walk and run in the same week, be into everything, be a climber and have many more determined yet frustrated moments ahead! We shall see!!!

On a fun note - Autumn is a lovey - she likes to give me big sloppy kisses every time I pick her up!!!!

Frontline: Sick Around the World - my two cents

Here are my two cents on health care reform after watching an interesting documentary on health care in other countries.

My overview of the problems:
1. We spend too much (some doctors, equipment manufactures, liability insurance companies, insurance companies, pharmaceutical companies, some hospitals and other medical drains - make a lot of money). Statistics from the documentary - the US spends 16% of its GDP on Health care (and I don't think that includes out of pocket costs, only the government programs) and the average insurance company spends about 22% on administrative costs.

2. Many people have no coverage (which ends up landing on those with coverage if those bills don't get paid). This means many people do not get preventative care or are scared to go to the Dr. when a problem is small because the cost is so great and then finally do get help when it is late in the game and the fix is much more costly both to their health and in $$s for everyone.

3. We are not a healthy nation - overall we don't believe in a healthy diet or taking care of ourself. Capitolism has fed us lies to make a profit and mass media and ads tell us that the "High Life" includes delicious and un-nutritious fast food and a pleasure seeking sedentary lifestyle. In addition, we don't handle stress well and tend to have poor work/life balance. Many of our nation's health care costs are the result of poor decisions - and though obesity is an issue, it is far from the only issue. During the segment in Japan and Taiwan, it was apparent that they had different beliefs about taking care of yourself - both in diet and exercise.

4. We are sue happy with a capital S. Do we need to minimize mistakes? Yes! Should people be paid millions upon millions when mistakes are made - maybe not. When will be put limits to liability? The rest of the world laughs and runs Saturday night live type jokes about our Sue happiness. If we could see in really money how much more we would each get in our pockets each year if we limited medical law suits - would we change our minds? Because - yes we the health care consumer and tax payer are paying those bills too.

5. I'm not going to dive into this one too much - but many illegal immigrants don't pay into any system and use state health care systems and hospitals that can't deny them. California might have more insight, as many of their hospitals are going bankrupt due to this problem.

6. End of life costs - another hard topic - but I've heard estimates that the last 3 months of a person's life typically costs more medically than the rest of their life combined. Does this make sense?


Okay solutions - or thoughts on solutions - because the problems are way too big for a quick fix and also way too big for a band-aid (which is kind of what I think the current administration(House and Senate and all) is doing - putting a 1" gauze pad on a head wound).

I'm going to phrase my solution ideas as questions - as I am far from believing that I have the solution. However, I do believe after watching the documentary and living in New Zealand and speaking to friends there about health care - that our system is far, far, far from taking care of people as well as our other 1st world friends. In addition to not taking care of people as well, our system also is the leading cause of bankruptcy (talk about stress which causes more health care problems) - which all the other Universal health care systems say this problem is unheard of.

Solution thoughts:
1. Will there be people willing to be our providers, manufactures, pharmaceutical makers, insurance companies ... for less? (in most countries these people make significantly less) - this is a huge task to limit profits and to change the way we do things (like administration and end of life decisions).

2. Will we some how incentivize healthy decisions and preventative care?

3.Will we limit medical suits?

4. Will we own up to the fact that privatization mixed with state insurance for uninsured, poor and retired mixed with the non-insured isn't working and is going to make us all broke - one at a time?

5. Will we figure out how to manage immigration so their medical costs are covered?

Okay - so these are truly thoughts and not solutions - I'd need a book for that and like I said - I don't have the solutions! However, after being faced with $1300 a month group insurance on a less than $45,000 a year salary (which we said no thank you to), hearing my OBGYN say that his uncle's last words in the ER at the age of 50 something were "I can't pay for this, I don't have insurance" and knowing friends who make a decent living and can't afford insurance or get denied because of asthma when they are in their 20's, and ER visits that cost $10,000+ - something has gone terribly wrong.

If I were to vote today - I would select a fully universal system like Taiwan or Japan or even the UK over what we have now. A system that forces cost cuts, limits administrative costs, incentivizes preventative health, simplifies plans and takes care of everyone. I know that initially the pain would be severe and the headache big - but I believe it would be worth it. Ten years from now I think we would be happy with the decision and wish we had done it 20 years early.

If expecting education for everyone is not being a socialist, then can't expecting health care for everyone be the same?

7 months

Really - it is April 8th? I think this is hard to believe because I scraped snow off my car this morning! Autumn, you are now 7 months old- and growing and changing daily! You continue to be a heart breaker - cuddling in close, giving lots of sloppy kisses, and smiling at most everyone who coos at you. This month we are away from home for your month birthday and so I'm going to have to try to remember your milestones without the help of my handy calendar!

You have started rolling all over the place and pivoting on your stomach, pushing yourself backwards, and occasionally you pull up on your knees
You went swimming for the first time and loved it.

You met your Uncle Chad and Aunt Christie

You went on your first family trip to Estes Park where you were the center of attention, tried avocado and watched the fire while sitting on great grandpa's lap.
One night you slept 11 hours in a row and I'm okay if you want to do that every night
You gave me a look and pulled a spoon I was trying to get from you away
You started crying when I come home from work, but you want me to hold you - I think you become emotional because you missed me and crying is your outlet. As long as I don't know I can imagine it is that (-:
You walk around looking at everything with the towel under your arms.
You had your 6 month doctor visit and did very well getting your shots and Dr. Marler still thinks you are adorable.
You had your first professional photo shoot and were easy going and smiley.
You sat next to your friend Aaron and baby played - he took your sock off and tasted it, you shook Easter baskets together, cooed at each other and sucked on plastic eggs together!
You had your first Easter and you were bright eyed and curious during church. You stared at and grabbed your cousin Ashton. We spent the afternoon with our family and you sat in the grass, swung in a swing (which you loved) and cuddled with your grandma and aunt. Grandma got you a baby pinwheel that you loved playing with.
Baby Autumn, we love you so much and are so blessed that God gave you to us here on Earth! You are such a delight and a lover. We can't wait to see you grow up into a little girl - I can imagine from your current personality you will continue to be curious, motivated, active, tender hearted with streaks of strong will and giggly. Hugs and Kisses, Mommy and Daddy

More Pictures!!!

Taking a walk in Estes near our cabin with my family

Milka What?????

Meeting Aunt Christie

80s punk rocker

Sweet babe sleeping in the car - which has been nice since we are in it so much!

Frustration...

A while back I had predicted that the safety commission would recall Infantino slings. After reading the report today and after spending hours immersed in infant death statistics in the last couple of weeks, I'm having a hard time with the recall. Not because it is a bad thing to expect safe products, but because I believe that if we want to save babies, the mass media needs to focus on the big killers as well. 14 babies have died in the last past several year in slings. In 2005 alone 515 babies died by strangulation and suffocation in adult beds, another approximately 250 babies died in suffocation related deaths, and 1271 died of unknown causes. (typically the unknown causes is when it looked like SIDS except the baby was in an unsafe sleeping environment) From the reports I've read the SUIDs rate has been on the rise each year since 1999. Each year about 4500 babies die suddenly and unexpectedly. About half of these are SIDS and half are SUIDs. Of the SUIDs deaths, it is estimated that 80-90 percent died in unsafe sleep environments (on soft bedding, in adult beds, on their stomachs, with loose blankets...). That is about 1870 babies who's lives may have been saved if everyone, including the media would shout from that mountain tops that safe sleep environments for babies will save lives. The statistics are clear - now our nation must actually believe it and change our habits. After becoming a mother I now know that it is not as simple as "just do it" - exhaustion and doing anything so your baby will sleep are real threats to a safe sleep environment. Even worse some health care workers, infant care takers and parents don't have the information to make good decisions about an infant's sleep environment. But the risks are real - at least 5 more babies will live each night in America if we protect them while they sleep.

http://www.firstcandle.org/new-expectant-parents/about-sids-suid/
http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/03/24/baby.sling.deaths/
http://wonder.cdc.gov/

Some favorites!

Fun with the Schugs!

Our friends the Schugs are in town and came over for a visit! I believe all were entertained - Ella entertained the kids and the kids entertained us! (-:

Sleeping through the night!

Autumn has had some nice long nights of sleep, but this was the queen of long sleeps - 9:30pm - 8:30am (after accounting for DST). It was glorious and strange. The strange part is what kept me from sleeping the whole night. Aaron and I did make it to bed by 10:30 and then I woke at 5:00 leaking and needing to pump and needing to check on Autumn to be sure she was okay. )-: I woke again at 7:30 to feed the dog and check on her again. At 8:30 I walked in and she was wide awake smiling at me. Let's try this again tonight - maybe my body/mind will get used to it and I'll get a nice long rest as well!!!!

6 months old

Wow, that went by fast baby! You are now half a year old. It has been another big month for you with many changes in growth and development and for us as a family around the house.

Six months is a big baby date - we started feeding you solid foods, which also means the beginning of stinky poops. You can now sleep in your own room and the risk of SIDS dramatically drops. Mommy is working to help save babies who die of SIDS and so this is a huge one for me.

Let me go get the calendar to recall your firsts this month!

Grew out of your first pair of jeans
Rolling - back to tummy, tummy to back and the double roll - back to tummy to back
Your first cold - which was not too bad
First grin, different than your smile
First all day with daddy and mommy at work
First intentional wave
First noticeable growth spurt and worst night of sleep to date
First food - quinoa
First time in a swimsuit (now we need to take you swimming).

It has been a good month - let me tell you more about you! You continue to be very sweet natured with soft cues and little giggles. You have grown into quite the curious little girl reaching for everything in site including drinks, our phones, the keyboard and really anything. It was much more difficult to take your picture today because you wanted the camera. In the last few weeks you have become more vocal about when you want to be held and when you don't want to go in the car seat. You will let nearly everyone hold you and enjoy silly faces and peek-a-boo. The most common comment I get is "she is so beautiful!" I tend to agree with them - you have big blue eyes, a sweet little nose and a fun little smile! Another common comment is, "she looks just like Aaron." This one I tend not to agree with so much. He is cute and all, but looking at my baby pictures it is pretty undeniable that you are my girl!

Ella continues to captivate you and you enjoy reaching out to pet her. She now likes to lick your hands and is going to have a hay day when you start throwing food over your high chair - I know you will be her new best friend.
The beginning of the month was filled with nice long nights of sleep, however you have had a harder time in the last week. A couple of nights you have been up every hour and a half. My sincere hope is that it is just a growth spurt and sleepful nights are ahead soon. You have also shifted your sleep hours from midnight to 9 to 9 or 10 to 5 or 6am. I'm a fan of this when I have to work and not a great fan when I want to sleep in! You started kicking in the bath tub and play in the water when we shower.
I went back to work this month as well - you stay with daddy most days I work. Of course my first day back - you rolled over for the first time. I miss you but really enjoy helping people at the hospital. You have adjusted to the change pretty well, I always tell you to go easy on daddy. He likes to take you on walks, read to you and play on the floor with you. You already have him wrapped around your finger - don't take too much advantage of that in the coming years!
My sweet babe - you are so wonderful, fun and a joy to watch! We love you more than you can imagine and are excited for all the change in the coming months. In the next 1/2 year you will start to crawl, likely walk (I got scared when I looked in my baby book and it said I walked at 8 months, 18 days), start to talk, and eat most everything we do! CRAZY!!!
Love you! Mommy

Back to Work

I started last Monday working for our local hospital - it is 5 minutes away and where I had Autumn. I'm a per diem occupational therapist (I take overflow and extra hours they have) on the inpatient floors. There are a variety of patients on ICU, acute (ortho, neuro, tele, medicine) and a small TCU. So far I think it is a great fit for this stage in my life! I'm able to work with people and families to help restore their abilities and to be able to return home once again. It has been 2 years since I have worked in a hospital - so it is taking some time and refreshing to remember all the medical terms, specific diagnosis precautions and regain some smoothness in my evaluation abilities. It has been an interesting orientation period for me - the main OT at the hospital had a skiing accident and will be out for a while. Luckily my good friend Elyssa who is also an OT for Banner Health was able to spend a couple of days with me - showing me the ropes and helping me with the not so fun electronic medical records. Today was my first day as the only OTR in the hospital - but luckily the PTs and OTA are great! Other than being grossly inefficient at electronic charting, I think I'm getting the hang of things and will enjoy working there! The other great perk is that I can come home and feed Autumn during my lunch - so I never feel like I've been away for too long! God is good!

God's Children

It is late - I'm fighting off a cold and cannot sleep.

These are some of the thoughts floating around at 12:30.

I've been dreading this - Autumn's first cold. I'm grateful that it has been minor for her, not much snot and only a little cough - that she made it to 5 months old before we had to deal with it. Myself being sick and having Autumn 2 feet from my head, I've been able to sleep okay, however the last 2 nights Aaron said he checked on her every 30-45 minutes all through the night. I admit we are anxious parents, we struggle deeply not to worry and to find the difficult balance between minimizing risks and worrying. I don't know if I'll ever find that balance on certain issues.

Where does my worry come from? 4 friends of mine have lost babies - 2 in the hospital and 2 before their beautiful babies made it to their first birthdays. My mother is a baby nurse and came home numerous times during my childhood and sat and cried after they lost a baby at work. I went to my first infant funeral at age 15 when our youth pastor and his wife lost their baby at birth. During my 2 and 1/2 week stay at the House of Moses in Lusaka - 3 sweet babies went to heaven. God takes children home to Him more often than we would like. Some with explanation, some without answers and all painful.

I titled this post "God's Children." After having a child, it is impossible not to think about the possibility of losing them. It is a possibility. The likelihood is not great, but the risk is real. I knew that we were getting into the one thing in life that can bring the greatest joy and has the risk of the greatest pain known to man - parenthood. The only way I am able to not be paralyzed by my fears and worry is to remember that my children are like Samuel was to Hannah - God's Children - a gift to me from Him for me to care for. I can only do my best - and know that God's plan is greater than my own - even if I don't or can't understand it. God is pretty clear about fretting and anxiety - yet I'm human - but I will try Lord - I will keep trying.

Back to bed - hopefully now that I've dumped my brain onto my virtual diary, sleep will follow.

I stole this from a friend who writes a food blog!
I want to try them - they look so yummy!!



Peanut butter oat bran cookies
adapted from Hodgson Mill

1/2 cup of unsalted butter, melted
1/2 cup of granulated sugar
1/2 cup of light brown sugar
2 egg whites
1/2 cup of creamy peanut butter
1/2 tsp of vanilla
1 cup of unbleached flour
1 1/2 cup of oat bran cereal
3/4 tsp of baking powder
1/4 tsp of baking soda

Preheat oven to 350degrees. Combine flour, oat bran, baking soda, 1/4 tsp of salt, and baking powder with a whisk. Mix butter and sugars together. Add in egg whites and mix well. Add in peanut butter and vanilla, beat until smooth. Add in dry ingredients being sure everything is incorporated. Drop onto a ungreased cookie sheet, using about one tsp per cookies. Make criss-cross pattern on top of each cookie with a fork. Bake for 10 minutes or until golden brown. Makes about 36 cookies. Enjoy!

Articles and abstracts on lower risks of SIDS

An article on SIDS over the last 30 years in New Zealand.
http://www3.interscience.wiley.com/cgi-bin/fulltext/122615903/PDFSTART23e

Why using a fan may lower risks?
http://archpedi.ama-assn.org/cgi/content/abstract/162/10/963

Breastfeeding and reduced risk of SIDS.
http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/abstract/123/3/e406

Back to sleep.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19996049?itool=EntrezSystem2.PEntrez.Pubmed.Pubmed_ResultsPanel.Pubmed_RVDocSum&ordinalpos=1


A listing of many more articles.
http://www.cjsids.org/resource-center/sids-research/recent-research.html

Safe Sleeping for Babies

Okay - this posting is a bit of a jump start for myself - I need a bit of accountability and prayer as I move forward in my roll of Content Developer for the Hand of Grace Foundation. I've set a deadline for myself to have a rough draft created that covers current statistics related to SIDS and other infant morbidity. I attempted to tackle this in November and found myself unable to sort through stories and statistic regarding infants Autumn's age. Focusing too much attention on these topics when Autumn was in the danger zone created too much fear and anxiety for me - something I was hoping I could fight through, but didn't. So here goes!!!

My starting point is to read through research and statistics First Candle has gathered and produced.

If you are a mommy, daddy, grandparent, or caregiver and want to read their safe sleeping recommendations - here are a few links.

http://www.firstcandle.org/new-expectant-parents/bedtime-basics-for-babies/

http://www.firstcandle.org/new-expectant-parents/bedtime-basics-for-babies/adult-beds-are-not-safe-for-sleeping-babies/

http://www.firstcandle.org/new-expectant-parents/bedtime-basics-for-babies/create-a-safe-sleep-zone/

5 Months Old

I know it is cliche to say "they grow so fast." But it is true! This month went faster than the last and Autumn, you are starting to look more and more like a little girl and less and less like a little baby. This was a big month - a first airplane ride, first time at the zoo, first time in an umbrella stroller, first time to play in the Johnny Jump up and first time to grab daddy's beard.

Right now you enjoy standing in our laps grabbing everything in sight, putting our cup to your lips and sucking on it, sucking on toys, feeling tags, being with us, watching Ella play, smiling when we smile, following us around the room with your eyes,and handling your sheep and baby polar bear dolls. You are so close to rolling over - you can squirm, twist, turn 180 degrees and whip around, but haven't gotten your arm out of the way to get all the way over. You love, love, love to stand up and marching or dancing in your jump up. Sitting down is a bummer - in both your car sear and bumbo you arch and fuss when initially put in a sitting position. Everyday your hands become more coordinated. At the beginning of the month you batted at things and now you can turn, inspect and manipulated toys quite well.

Your are such a mellow baby! We flew to Portland and stayed 4 nights. You were a champ! We breezed through security, you humored all those old ladies that cooed at you with smiles and sat or slept almost silently the whole trip both ways. I doubt the people 2 seats away even knew there was a baby on the plane! In Portland we hiked to the top of a 500 foot waterfall in the rain, went to the zoo, out for sushi with friends, for a long walk along the river, to the Chinese gardens and up to Olympia and back. Never did I have to change plans or leave because you just went with the flow! If I don't thank you once you are able to remember it, Thank You!


Well that pretty much sums up month #4! We love you baby girl - keep growing strong and healthy!