Ruthless Trust

I had a nice long chat with my dear friend and bible study leader in Loveland. After our discussion she sent this exerpt from Ruthless Trust - B Manning
It speaks volumes to me right now and I wanted to share it.

Fourteenth-century theologian and mystic John Tauler prayed for eight years that God would send him a person who would teach him the true way of perfection. One day, while at prayer, he heard a voice from within telling him to go outside to the steps of the church, and there he would meet his mentor. He obeyed without hesitation. On the church steps Tauler found a barefoot ragamuffin in rags, wounded and caked with blood. Tauler greeted the man cordially: "Good morning, dear brother. May God give you a good day and grant you a happy life. "Sir" replied the ragamuffin, " I do not remember ever having a bad day."Stunned, Tauler asked him how that was possible, since sadness and grief are part of the human condition.The beggar explained, "You wished me a good day, and I replied that I cannot recall ever having spent a bad day. You see, whether my stomach is full or I am famished with hunger, I praise God equally; when I am rebuffed and despised, I still thank God. My trust in God's providence and his plan for my life is absolute, so there is no such thing as a bad day."He continued, "Sir, you also wished me a happy life. I must insist that I am always happy for it would be untruthful to state otherwise. My experience of God has taught me that whatever He does must of necessity be good. Thus, everything that I receive from his loving hand or whatever He permits me to receive from the hands of others--be it prosperity or adversity, sweet or bitter--I accept with joy and see it as a sign of His favor. For many. many years now, my first resolution each morning is to attach myself to nothing but the will of God alone. I have learned that the will of God is the love of God. And by the outpouring of His grace, I have so merged my will with His that whatever He wills, I will too. Therefore, I have always been Happy."the beggar's witness to Jesus Christ lay in ruthless trust in the love of God and in the determination "for all things, give thanks" (1 Thes 5:8).

Later in his life, Tauler wrote that is amalgam of trust and gratitude is the shortest path to God. So why would I refer to "ruthless trust"? Webster's dictionary defines the adjective ruthless as "without pity". I use the word, in this context of trust, to mean "without self pity", because is the arch-enemy of trust.That does not mean all self-pity has to go. When the shadow of Jesus' cross darkens our space, when pain and suffering intrude and our secure, well-regulated lives are blown apart, when tragedy makes its unwelcome appearance and we are deaf to everything but the shriek of our won heartache, when courage flied out the window and the world around us suddenly seems hard and menacing, self-pity is the first, normal unavoidable, and probably right reaction; and we only exhaust ourselves further is we attempt to suppress it.

Human experience has taught me that there is no effective way to fight self-pity. Sure, we can spiritualize heartbreak, camouflage our emotions, and tap-dance into religiosity. But such bravado is a denial of our humanity, and furthermore it does not work. We are not spiritual robots but sensitive persons. However, there comes a time when self-pity becomes malignant, seducing us into self-destructive behavioral patterns of withdrawal, isolations, drinking, drugging, and so forth. We simply ask for the grace to set a time lilmit on our self-pity.

Ruthless Trust by B Manning beginning of chapter 12