Autumn's Birth Story

Autumn, this is the story of your birth. You are my first child and the story of how you came into this world is one full of blessings, challenges, surprises, patience, joy and complete awe. Your story is a bit longer than most because I started labor 62 hours before you were born. Your Nana Arla did the same thing with Uncle Chad and I had been somewhat worried I'd have a similar experience - and I did. I was blessed that unlike your Nana, at night time my labor slowed down and I was able to get a little bit of rest and it never sped up fast enough for us to be tempted to go to the hospital until it was actually time to need to be there. Here it begins - Labor Day Weekend 2009.

Saturday - I woke up feeling off - not sick, just off. I went to the bathroom and happened to glance and see what I'd read about being a mucus plug, or at least a piece of it. I was excited, as this typically means labor will come in less than a week. We headed over to your Grandma Mary's and Papa Jerry's for lunch with the family and had steaks the size of our heads, as your daddy proclaimed. It was yummy! Both Aunt Kelly and Grandma Mary commented that I just wasn't myself and that it couldn't be too long before you made your appearance. I was tired and having contractions every 30-40 minutes that were quite a bit stronger than any of the Braxton Hicks contractions I had been having. We headed home to rest and get ready to head up to Fort Collins to have dinner with Zach and Marcie. Before we left I saw some more of that mucus plug and was hopeful that this these labor pains were the real thing. The only question was whether you would come that night, the next day or any other day that week? Your dad and I had a nice dinner with our friends, ate lots of fajitas and chips and played some 42 (which Marcie and I came back from 0-5 to win!) On the way home I had a whooper of a contraction and gained new appreciation for living so close to the hospital - all the little bumps made it very difficult to relax. Off to bed we went - I headed for the the couch as it was much more comfortable than our bed because I could snuggle into the back and have more support.

Sunday - I continued to have contractions every 20-30 minutes through the night, but I was able to sleep pretty well on both sides of them. We got ready for church and headed out - I was determined not to stop life, as I had read that it is possible to have this very slow labor for days. That morning I told your dad that I thought labor was going to be a bit tougher than I had originally thought. He kind of chuckled at me and asked what I thought it was going to be. I told him I had really hoped to be one of those lucky women with a pain free labor. At this point the contractions were quite strong and I knew they would have to get stronger, which meant it was going to be pretty intense and painful. After church we called our Doula Kathy to let her know what was going on. She came over that afternoon and went on a quick walk with me. Your Dad was working on our coffee table and I continued to get things like laundry and dishes done around the house. That evening after it got dark your dad and I went on a long walk around our neighborhood. The contractions were about the same, but now about every 10-15 minutes apart. Off to bed (I mean the couch) again. This night the contractions slowed down, as I was timing them on contractionmaster.com and I got several 40-50 minute stretches of sleep. Although they slowed down, they became more intense. At about 2 in the morning I fought a couple of them by tensing my bottom and breathing rapidly and man did they hurt. I crawled into bed with your dad and asked him to help me relax through the next few. At this point I decided to try to mentally focus on my cervix through the contractions and I was then able to keep my bottom relaxed and get through them without as much pain.

Monday - This was Labor Day and so your dad had the day off. I slept in as late a possible and then got up and ready for the day. I told your dad that I wanted to do normal stuff and stay occupied. We took off around 10:30 to get paint for the window well covers and then up to Fort Collins to get RC Airplane fuel for your dad's plane. I had decided a bath would be nice and so we headed over to your Grandma Mary's and Papa Jerry's to eat lunch, use their tub and hang out. All morning my contractions were staying at about 30 minutes apart. We had yummy steak fajitas and I drew my bath. Your dad and Papa Jerry went out to fly his plane. At this point I figured I'd been laboring for about 50 hours and really wanted to know if anything was happening. Against medical advice I'm sure and much to your dad's dismay, I checked myself. Guess what I felt - your head! I knew we had to be close, again I didn't know how close, but close. I waited until we got home to tell your dad that I felt your head and then we started discussing how soon we would head to the hospital. In our Bradely Method class, we were taught it was best to wait until the contractions are about 4-5 minutes apart for over an hour before heading to the hospital. However, a friend of mine said that hers never got closer than 7 minutes apart but got more intense. Being my first time in labor, intensity was rather relative to the previous contraction and so I didn't exactly know at what intensity going to the hospital was justified. Since I had been in labor for so long, we decided that we would head to the hospital that evening to get checked out and if things were not ready we would just come on home. We decided to go on a walk around 5pm and the contractions picked up, and were about 5 minutes apart. Your dad suggested that we head back to the house and later admitted he was worried he'd have to carry me over the fence. We got back to the house and called Kathy to let her know that we were planning on heading to the hospital after we ate some dinner. She thought that was a good idea and planned to meet us there. Earlier in the day Nana Arla had decided to go ahead and come over from Glenwood Springs, as she didn't want me to be home alone on Tuesday if my labor continued to putter along. She got into town around 6 and picked us up some dinner from Mimi's and Noodles and Company. I had chicken soup and we packed everything else we needed in case we got to stay at the hospital. I continued to have contractions 5-8 minutes apart and tried different positions to breathe and relax through them. I liked sitting on the toilet and resting my chest on the couch while on my knees the best. Right before we left your dad posted my contraction chart on facebook and then your Aunt Lisa called to make sure we were headed to the hospital. We took off and Nana followed us so she would know where to go after you were born. They checked us in and sent us to the area of labor and delivery where they see if you are progressed enough to admit to the hospital. Our nurse Clara hooked me up to the monitors and of course my labor slowed way down. The monitor checking you said that you were doing just fine. When she checked my cervix I was 4-5 cm dilated and 70-80% effaced. She called Dr. Slack and he suggested that we walk around for 2 hours and get checked again, as I was right on the border of being progressed enough to stay. Your dad, Kathy and I did laps around the labor and delivery floor between 8 and 10:15 pm. My labor picked back up again and I was having pretty intense contractions every 4-6 minutes. Since I had found the toilet a comfortable place to relax during contractions, we asked if we could have a bedside commode with us. They brought us this huge bariatric bedside commode with no seat on it. Not exactly what I was thinking and after trying it a couple of times, I decided walking close to the bathroom and then going in during a contractions was a much better idea. I think I found every sitting place and leaned on every wall of the unit during those 2 hours. I handled the contractions and relaxed best by continuing to close my eyes, breath normally and focusing on telling my cervix to open up. Instead of tightening my bum, I tried to slightly push the other way. These 2 hours went by very quickly and we headed back to the room where Clara would check us again. Autumn, you were doing great and the contractions were doing their job, as I had opened up to 7 cm dilated. This meant that we got to stay at the hospital and that we were going to get to meet you very soon. After they told me that I was 7 cm I said that my reward was to get to lay in the big bathtub and take a break. Clara called ahead and they ran a nice warm bath for me to get into once we arrived at our room. At Mckee you get to stay in the same room the entire stay as they have everything you need for labor, delivery and postpartum. I lounged in the large jetted tub for about 45 minutes until Dr. Slack arrived. It felt so good to relax through contractions in the warm water. I would have stayed in there all night, but I really did want to meet you. I got out and headed back to the bed where Dr. Slack checked me. I was still at 7 cm as the zero gravity contractions didn't really get me any more open. At that point I knew I would need to walk around some more to get things going again. Dr. Slack offered to break my water as this would likely speed the labor up. He also noted that it would likely become more intense and painful as well. I think I looked at him like he was crazy and said no thank you, I think it is intense enough right now - I'll wait for it to break on it's own. The contractions while lying on the bed were quite miserable and the thought of intentionally making things hurt worse was not fathomable. I changed into the birthing skirt Kathy had given me and a tank top and the three of us headed for the hallway. I made it about 5 steps and had a very intense contraction, then another 3 steps and I stayed in that spot for 3 contractions. They were so intense that the time I gave myself for a break was only long enough for the next contraction and not long enough to take more steps. After the third one I waddled back to the room and got into the tub, sitting on the seat in the back. Your dad held the hand held shower over my belly and legs. Kathy got me a waterproof pillow to lean against, but staying in an upright position so gravity could help. Your dad was so great, he really helped me to stay calm as these contractions were of a variety I had not yet felt. Kathy's support, encouragement, comfort measures and presence was very helpful as well. After about 10 contractions in the shower I decided that I was ready for Dr. Slack to break my bag of waters. The contractions had gotten so intense that I was quite sure I wouldn't notice much more pain and so speeding things up would be okay. I sat on the toilet before I went out to the bed and had another 2 or 3 contractions. They yelled in at me, "You aren't pushing, are you." I assured them I was not and that I didn't want to have you in the toilet. Your dad came in to help me as I couldn't reach the toilet paper. I wanted more paper and this is when your dad thought I was in transition because I guess I was being quite demanding. I made it to the bed and Dr. Slack checked me and had everything ready to break my waters. When he checked I was at 9 1/2 and only one side of my cervix needed a little more opening to be complete and ready. He asked if I still wanted him to break my bag of waters, I didn't want to make the decision and so I didn't answer, hoping he'd just do whatever seemed the best. He went ahead and broke it and I could feel it slowly leak out. Then he had me roll onto my right side as it would help the side of my cervix that needed to dilate. I then had 3 incredibly intense contractions and couldn't help but start pushing. After the next one Dr. Slack asked if I still felt like pushing and I said yes. He then called in the baby nurse and a table full of tools. I then rolled back into the traditional pushing position. I had thought I would like to squat during the pushing stage, as it can open up your pelvis significantly, but the thought of trying to get on to my feet was unthinkable, so I decided I would try this first. After about 4 contractions of me trying to push and then stopping when the pain hit unbearable, Dr. Slack gave us a pep talk that went something like this. "Okay, you have done very well up to this point about getting into your Zen zone and relaxing during contractions. The pushing stage is very different, you need hold your breath long enough that you can use that force to push. You have to push through the pain as right now the baby is coming down just a little bit and then going right back up when you stop." Okay, I got it, if I was going to get this over with I needed to push past unbearable. I would try. About 5 or 6 contraction where I didn't let my breath out when it hurt too bad and you crowned, daddy could see your head and I felt you again. I was sneaky and took longer breaks and breathed through a couple of contractions until I was ready to push again. Between contractions Dr. Slack asked everyone if you were a boy or a girl. Everyone except for your dad and myself were correct. A couple of nights before we were reviewing the boy names we had picked and you kicked only for Andy Aaron. Obviously this didn't mean anything, but it was the only thing we had to guess from. Then right before you were born he had everyone guess your hair color. Mine was black when I was born, so I thought yours would be too. But you were born with beautiful golden colored hair about an inch and a half long. One more big push and your head came out. This was very intense, but Dr. Slack had me stop and asked if he could cut the cord before 90 seconds as it was wrapped around your neck twice. He quickly got to work and cut it off your neck and then had me push you out the rest of the way. He untangled you like a yoyo and your dad said it was like watching an air hockey puck as he unwrapped your cord from around your body and arm. He had you by your ankle and announced that you were a girl and then put you on my belly while the nurse worked on getting you breathing. Dr. Slack said you were the most entangled baby in your cord in the more than 2000 births he'd attended. We were very blessed that you still had enough cord to come out without it tightening. There you were, completely perfect in every way screaming and turning pink. I hate how this moment seems blurry to me now, it was a moment of so much joy, awe, relief that I had done it, exhaustion, exhilaration and complete wonder. You were finally in my arms. After you were born there were so many things to do. I birthed the placenta, they hooked my IV line into Pitocin to limit my bleeding, Dr Slack showed your dad the placenta and where I needed 2 tiny stitches because you decide to come out with your elbow up towards your ear. Before they weighed you, Dr. Slack had us all guess. Dad and I guessed over 7 pounds and the baby nurse shook his head because he knew you were much smaller than that. You were 6 pounds even. Then nurse Clara and I started to work on getting you breastfeeding. It took you a little while to get the hang of it as you wanted to stick your tongue out. Once you got the hang of it you were a champ, only losing 1 1/2 ounces. Most babies loose 4-10 ounces before starting to gain again.

Your dad called your grandparents to let them know we had you - Autumn Keanna Brown, 6 pounds, 19 1/2 inches born at 2:29 am September 8, 2009. We had not told anyone your first name. We both love the season of autumn when it is harvest time, the weather is cooling down, and the leaves are changing colors and it is a beautiful name. Keanna is a Hawaiian name meaning gracious - we wanted you to have a Hawaiian name because you were made in Hawaii and the time your dad and I spent in Hawaii is so very special to us. Your Great Grandma on your Nana's side was named Grace. Grace means unearned favors received from God. Our utmost prayer for you is that God's grace finds you and that you accept it fully.

Nana wanted to give you your first bath, so Granddad Larry and Nana got to the hospital about 30 minutes after you were born. After you had been on my chest over an hour, Nana and the nurse took you for your first bath. You were not much of a fan, but calmed right down after they got you dry and warm. Nana tried to make an old fashioned curl on top of your head with all the hair you had. We all thought it looked more like a mohawk, but now you have a picture like your mommy's newborn picture. After your bath I tried feeding you some more and then you fell asleep. Your dad got a couple hours of sleep, but I was on an adrenaline high and posted pictures of you and announced to all our family and friends that you had been born. I got about 45 minutes of sleep before starting our first day as your parents.

Autumn, welcome to our world, we are so excited to love you unconditionally, learn with you and experience life with you!!!

She is here!!!

Wow... it is slowly sinking in. Our baby girl Autumn has arrived, we are parents and our world will never be the same. We are so full of joy, full of love and amazement at the gift God has given us! Everything seems to stand still - she is so lovely, peaceful and cuddly!

We are now home and blessed by so many things - a good eater, plenty of milk, my mom to be our in home nursery - so we are all getting plenty of rest!! I don't think it could be much more perfect!

Now that she is here - I'm going to shut off my RSS feed from facebook. So if you would like to continue reading my thoughts on life as a mommy - feel free to check my blog every now and then - seeinggodsgoodness.blogspot.com I plan to post my birth story here soon and to keep a journal for myself of this time as a new mommy.

God bless you and thank you for all the well wishes and congratulations!!!

Closer!

Every moment is one moment closer for us to get to meet our baby. I am content, but things are happening that make it very real that we should not have to wait too much longer. However, patience is a virtue - because soon is not predictable. Soon could be tonight, soon could be tomorrow, soon could be next Saturday afternoon.

I think I can say I'm in labor, for several reasons - I've been having wicked contractions on a regular basis (every 20-30 minutes) for about 12 hours and they have not stopped. However, if they do stop then I would have to say I was never in labor, but having false labor. Every woman is so different - some go into hard labor immediately and have their baby in their arms in 3-5 hours, others can be in labor for days before the end prize is seen. At this point it is looking like I'm in the second camp - praying for things to speed up so I don't have to go too many nights on 25 minutes of sleep at a time.

So we wait - as patiently as we can - hoping and praying for more contractions that are closer together doing their job of getting everything open and ready. Although last night I kept thinking "why would I be hoping they get closer together, because that means more pain?" Now during the day I think the same thing, but have another logical thought that counters it with "because you want to meet your baby and that is the only way you get to!"

38 weeks and counting!!!

8 weeks, 19 weeks, 24 weeks, 31 weeks, 34 weeks, 38 weeks

My pregnancy count down now says 11 days! Crazy!!!!!!!!! By looking at the above pictures - it is believable that there is a 6-8 pound baby in that belly. I feel very blessed that I continue to sleep well - and I think I could sleep all day! Well maybe not, the last couple of nights I've had difficulty falling asleep at night and I think it is because of sleeping in and naps. Oh well, I guess I'll sleep when ever I can because any sort of a sleep schedule will be ruined here soon anyways.

My doctor returns from vacation on Monday, so after that I'm giving the baby permission to come anytime! I'm aiming for Friday - it is my best friend from HS's birthday and Monday is a holiday - so Aaron would get a paid day off in during his work absence! I won't put too much pressure on myself and the baby, but I like having goals!

So here we wait - any day now we will make the transition from a squirmy baby in the belly to one that is likely just as squirmy and a bit more audible in our arms.

Oh, here is my last set of Hawaii modest pregnancy pictures!!!!

0 weeks, 19 weeks, 23 weeks, 31 weeks, 38 weeks

Yummy Bran and Flax Muffins

I made these last night! Easy and yummy!

INGREDIENTS

* 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
* 3/4 cup whole wheat flour
* 3/4 cup ground flax seed
* 3/4 cup oat or wheat bran
* 3/4 cup brown sugar
* 2 teaspoons baking soda
* 1 teaspoon baking powder
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
* 3/4 cup skim milk
* 2 eggs, beaten
* 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
* 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
* 3/4 cup shredded carrots
* 1 1/2 cups chopped frozen mango

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease muffin pan or line with paper muffin liners.
2. In a large bowl, mix together flour, flax seed, oat bran, brown sugar, baking soda, baking powder, salt and cinnamon. Add the milk, eggs, vanilla and oil; mix until just blended. Stir in the carrots and mangos. Fill prepared muffin cups 2/3 full with batter.
3. Bake at 350 F (175 degrees C) for 15 to 20 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of a muffin comes out clean.

Good News

I had my ultrasound yesterday and found out from the Dr. today that everything is just fine. Baby is growing, placenta looks good and there is plenty of amniotic fluid. Even though I knew the chance that something was wrong was extremely low, there is so much peace in knowing. I think it added stress for me that my Dr. is going out of town for the next week, so if we did need to make any decisions, it needed to be before tomorrow. Praise the Lord, now we can just wait for the baby to make up his/her mind when would be a good time to come into our world.

I am not surprised, but I again found out that being patient is so hard for me. The ultrasound technician said that my Dr. office should be able to access the screen with in an hour of it being read. So I assumed I would know if it said everything was good or not yesterday. I called my Dr. office to let them know when it was complete, called again yesterday afternoon to find out all the Drs had left for the day and then this morning I talked to the nurse. Finally this afternoon they were able to tell me it looked good. In this age of instant gratification and instant knowledge, waiting 28 hours to know if I can wait contently for my body's timing or if they would want to induce labor, was not very much fun.

Almost full term!

I'll be full term on Wednesday! These last 8 1/2 months have completely flown by - especially this summer. Now all the summer events have passed and I need to pack our bag for the hospital, put the car seat in the car and finish up all the little things around the house. My sister in law held a fun baby shower for me this weekend and we got spoiled rotten. We are so appreciative to friends and family for pitching in and getting us set up!

So.... I saw the Dr. today and everything (blood pressure, baby's heart rate, my weight gain, no swelling) looks really good - except for my tummy is measuring small. Every visit they measure from your pubic bone to the top of your uterus and this height in centimeters should roughly correspond to your weeks gestation. I had been right on until about 34 weeks and now 2 weeks later I'm still small - so the Dr. wants to have an ultrasound just to make sure everything is okay. He did not seem too worried and said it is likely just a positional thing, but it is worth looking into - just in case it is something more serious like not enough amniotic fluid or the baby is not growing. So, I'll schedule the ultrasound for this week and we will be pray for the best and good decisions based on the information provided!

Anniversary Weekend

This weekend we celebrated 6 happy years of marriage! It is a bit crazy - walking down the isle, saying I do, eating Pecan Caramel Cheesecake and dancing the night away does not seem like it was that long ago! We had a nice relaxing time in Estes Park talking about the past and the future, hiking up Lily Mountain, eating yummy food next to the river, strolling through town, sitting next to the camp fire, getting jetted in our own cooled down hot tub and feeling the baby kick and move all over.

Here are a few of our best moments during year #5!

1. Finding out we were pregnant in our Kealakekua Ohana
2. Celebrating Aaron's 30th birthday
3. Evening walks on the beach in Maui watching the whales
4. Surfing together
5. Moving back into our home in Loveland





My crazy day!

Friday was our anniversary day and it was a crazy day! I felt like super women at the end of it. We found a Honda Accord here in Loveland that we wanted the dealer to check out and so after I dropped Aaron off at work I took it to Fort Collins for a full look over. It passed with flying colors! (oh, I gave up on the CR-V, we decided a civic or accord would be good for now). The couple selling it for their daughter were not going to be home until evening so I drop the car back off, got gas, picked up eggs and then went home to spend hours in the kitchen. Between 11-4 I made a homemade pizza, a cake from scratch (I wanted to do this for our anniversary and probably should have skipped it, but oh it was yummy!), sweet potato fries, packed all the food for the weekend, did all the dishes from cooking, packed our bags, took a shower, packed the car and took off to go get Aaron at work. We then stopped at the bank, got the money for the car, signed the bill of sale and took our our new car to Aaron's sisters for the weekend and then finally left for our anniversary retreat! I think I'll pass on anymore days like that for a while and take it easy until this little one comes along!

I'm now 35 1/2 weeks, am having more and more braxton hicks contractions and am getting bigger and bigger. This weekend I looked at a picture we had taken and gasped - "Wow - do I really look that big!" The comments continue and people are flat out funny around pregnant women. One guy asked my if I had 3 months left, which I replied nope only 5 weeks, then he said, oh - my wife is bigger than you and she has 3 months left. It was her 3rd pregnancy! At Walmart this week a guy refused to let me put my own groceries on the belt out of my cart. I bet he would have loved to see me carry them all into the house in one trip when I got home (-:

34 weeks

The baby room is almost complete - I just need to hang a few pictures.

I can hardly believe that I'll be full term in 3 weeks and certainly have given birth in less than 8 or so weeks. We are feeling more and more ready - trying to practice our relaxation techniques and get everything in order. I now have everything I think I need for cloth diapering - wraps, pre-folds, all in ones, cloth wipes, a few hemp inserts and the right laundry detergent. I've been trying to read a bit each day in my natural birthing book and reading about caring for an infant and breast feeding for after the birth. It is a whole new world!!!

Aaron started his new job last week and is really enjoying it. He is learning a ton and looks forward to becoming more proficient at his responsibilities. With Aaron at work Mon-Friday and us sharing a vehicle, I've started the search for another vehicle. I'm determined to find a reasonable priced 2002 or newer Honda CR-V with less than 100,000 miles. It is looking like it may take a bit longer to find this than I had hoped, but I'm thankful we have time to find something we will like.

A good day!

Aaron went backpacking and so for the first time in I have no idea how long, I spent the entire day by myself. After I took him to meet up with his ride at the crack of dawn, I came back home, drank a glass of milk and slept until 11am. Yes it is true - 11am!! Then I got up for breakfast or lunch?? I finished my much dreaded project of entering every transaction from the last 6 weeks into Microsoft Money and organizing the receipts for the random returns we have from all our house projects. Then I laid in bed to read and spent a nice time watching my tummy dance, poke out and move around. I read more of Dr. Bradley's book and caught up on more random things. Then I felt bad for the dog's lack of exercise and took her for a long walk and caught up briefly with a good friend. Now it is getting dark and I'm grateful for a nice day alone - it may be a very long time before I get another!!!

On other fronts - we are thankful that Aaron had very good 1st and 2nd round interviews with a small marketing company in Windsor last week. After working at the surf shop in Kona - Aaron came to appreciate the creative applications required of their potential employees. So in preparation for his interview he built a sweet rocket (which ties in with the company's name) and put icons on it that represented what he would bring to the company. He then inserted his resume and references into the body. I may be biased - but he is a clever marketer and would be a great asset to any marketing team. We are awaiting news next week and hoping they offer him a job. It would be remarkable timing - just as we are finishing up all our major house projects. God is in control and so we will be content either way - but we are hopeful!!

31 and a half weeks

Time is flying by - only a little more than 8 weeks until our estimated due date. No new news - baby's heart rate was 150 and I got to feel her/his head again today. I'm getting closer to finished with the nursery - just need curtains and a little something more on one of the walls.

Here are some fun pictures - they are Hawai'i modest, so don't look if you are against the bikini! My baby belly is certainly getting bigger!!

Pre-pregnancy, 19 weeks, 23 weeks and 31 weeks.

Ultrasound Picture

We had our ultrasound this morning and everything looks good. The baby slept through almost the entire session in a nice little ball - head in the lower left facing forward and arm tucked under the head. Because we chose to have the ultrasound a little later in the pregnancy it was a bit more difficult to see everything, but the tech said she got everything she needed. Here is a nice little face shot we got as a souvenir.

Super Preggy Smoothie

I've been making lots of smoothies lately and have been trying to figure out how to get my green leaves in without having to taste them. Just kidding - I don't mind the greens, but this is a great way to get the benefits of spinach without having to eat a salad! The flax adds Omega 3 fatty acids. Here is the calorie break down - it is like a whole meal!!

Every ingredient is on at least one of the pregnancy super foods lists!!

Calories 518, Fat 14, Cholest 16mg, Sodium 358mg, Carbs 84g, Sugars 84g, Fiber 15g, Protien 22g

Super Smoothie

1/3 cup frozen blueberries

1/4 cup frozen strawberries

1/2 frozen banana

1/4 cup frozen spinach (which you can't taste)

3 Tbsp milled flax

1/4 cup vanilla natural yogurt

1/2 cup orange juice

1/3 cup skim milk (add more or less for desired consistency)

30 weeks

We've been home in Loveland for over 2 weeks and are still getting settled in. I hit it hard the first week and have now slowed down, just getting a little done here and there. Aaron has not showed signs of slowing - he continues working hard to get all the projects on the list done. Today he put a second shelf in our closet that I wanted. I'm so grateful that he is working so hard and is motivated to get the house ready and looking good. I wouldn't say we forgot how much work having a house is, but we sure did enjoy taking a 2 year vacation from house projects! We've had so much help from parents, family and friends and are grateful for their time and energy. We got things together enough to have a family barbecue on Sunday night - somehow our little family with a few visitors was 18 people! It was a nice house warming and made it feel like we are really moved in and living here.

Our baby is growing and I can hardly believe that we have only 10 weeks to the due date. On Monday we got to meet our delivering doctor. He seems really great! The whole medical scene here is such a stark difference from the clinic in Maui - friendly staff, a nice waiting room, nicely painted walls, decor and fun pictures all over. It is refreshing! At this point, the only medical annoyance is that the insurance company ran out of card stock to make my insurance card and thus has not mailed me my "home away from home" insurance information - which is now over 2 weeks late in arrival. Oh well - I wouldn't believe it if a dealing with the insurance company went smoothly!

Everything with the baby looks good. The heart beat was a little higher this week and the doctor asked if he could guess and he is guessing girl! He was able to feel the baby's head on the right side under my belly button. I've started to have braxton hicks contractions this week and the baby is still moving all over. I giggle every time I feel a kick and look down to see my tummy dancing. I should be scheduling my diagnostic ultrasound here in the next couple of weeks just to make sure all the babies organs and spinal cord look good. The baby is so big now, we are hoping that they do a good job keeping the pictures modest so we can be surprised when the baby arrives!

We've started our 12 week Bradely course in Fort Collins. Our teacher graciously started the class the week we arrived so that we could hopefully make it through before the delivery. We are enjoying it thus far and there is one other couple attending with us that is due the same week we are. It is very infomational and we are looking forward to being prepared with knowledge, relaxation techniques and a sense of strong teamwork for the big day!

The Pause Button

I feel like we just released the pause button. Two years passed by in another world for us and now we are back in our house, with our car and our dog. It is a little weird - although things have moved forward here too, many things are the same.

We have spent the last week and a half working on getting our house the way we want it - new paint, new carpet, fixing things, building things and sorting through our belongings and trying to figure out where to put them and what to get rid of. I kind of liked that for 2 years everything that I needed fit in a Honda Civic and then in 6 suitcases to Hawaii. I'm trying to figure out what to keep because I already own it and what I really never needed or used. It is a mixed blessing being an American. Blessed in that "stuff" is not what we lack - and cursed because we really don't need that much and would likely be better off without all of it.

Okay - moving past the stuff...

It is nice to be back - seeing family, friends, the snow capped mountains, thunderstorms, mountain sunsets ... I remember why we loved it here and why we want to raise our family here. It is an unusually wet June, everything is so green and lucky for us the tornados are mostly staying south and east. The cool weather has been nice - I'm gearing up for being 7,8 and 9 months pregnant in the hottest part of the summer (-:

I haven't taken pictures since we got home, but the baby is growing! I'm nearing 30 weeks now and look forward to meeting my delivering Doctor on Monday. The baby's kicks are getting stronger and more frequent - but I think he/she is still on Hawaii time, being most active if I stay up late. The other morning Aaron said he could feel the baby kicking while I slept and wondered how on earth I could sleep through it - I'm not sure, but glad I can.

The baby room is begining to take shape. Aaron's mom and I washed a sea green over a blue green and I love it! It almost looks like the water at Makalawena and the theme will be sea turtles. My mom found a turtle quilt in Waikiki over a year ago that she wanted to get for me "when I got pregnant." I guess her wishful thinking worked. We've set a twin bed up in there and still need to dig out the baby treasures my sister in-law gave me to put in storage before we left.

Starting the 3rd trimester in Kona

It is hard to believe that I'm now 27 weeks along in this adventure to mommyhood. My baby bump keeps getting bigger and I've gotten more comments in the last week. "When are you due? Ahh, you look like you're having a great pregnancy. There's a baby in there!" Luckily no one I don't know has felt the need to reach for my belly to rub it. I'm not yet sure what my reaction will be the first time this happens. Our baby is now over 2 pound and around 15 inches long and starting to open his/her eye lids and suck his/her fingers. Every now and then I feel light jolts that I'm pretty sure are hiccups and not kicks. It is so fun!!!

Aaron and I are now enjoying our last Hawaiian days in Kona with friends. We spent a wonderful 3 days at a resort in Waikoloa relaxing, snorkeling and taking long walks. Here in Kona, Aaron's enjoyed surfing while I photograph and we've gotten to see many people for last hi and goodbyes. We look forward to more surfing, beach time, kayaking, caving and stand up paddling before heading back to our land locked mountainous home. I have to be honest - it was easy to leave Maui. But being back in Kona - seeing friends, doing the activities that we most enjoy here - leaving this place for good might be a little bit tougher than I anticipated. I know that moving back to Loveland is the right thing and we are so excited to rejoin life with our family and friends and play in our Rocky Mountain back yard - but Hawaii will always hold a special place in our hearts. A place that will draw us back for vacations at the least and will make us truly appreciate the gift it was to spend a year and a half enjoying comfortable tropical living. For myself I wanted to make a list of the physical things I will miss most. So here goes in no particular order -

1. Ocean sunsets and long sunset walks on the beach
2. Butter avocados the size of your head
3. Surfing
4. Seeing or swimming with beautiful fish, manta rays, eagle rays, green sea turtles, whales and dolphins regularly
5. Never being cold
6. Never really getting too hot
7. Picking oranges, tangerines, bananas, and other yummy things from our yard
8. Following the volcano activity and being close enough to go take a peek if something is happening
9. Kealakekua Bay
10. Flowering trees everywhere
11. Green lush tropical forest
12. Big crashing waves on the shore showing their power
13. Being tan all year long
14. Feeling like exercising all year long
15. Experiencing the feel of a Colorado fall day at 5000-8000 feet
16. The smell of flowers and jasmine as you walk around
17. Trying new fruits I've either never seen or heard of before - rambutans, mountain apples, apple bananas, lilikoi, jack fruit, guava, bilimbi, bread fruit, cherimoya, jaboticaba, lychee, passion fruit.
18. Endless supply of pineapple, fresh bananas, papayas and avocodos year round

Our ocean side cabana at the Hilton Waikoloa, getting off the commuter flight from Maui, our deck, Aaron surfing Kahulu'u, me and the baby swimming with a turtle

Luxurious A/C and the last days!

We are all moved out of the condo and sold our car.  If buying the plane tickets did not do the trick in making this move feel real - then being back down to 2 suitcases each, needing a rental car and living in someone elses house should do it!  The perks are that our awesome host Dr. Hassell keeps the house nice and cool and that our rental car has A/C too.   I kept complaining about how ridiculus it was that people would not even come look at our car when I told them the A/C was broken - but I have to admit that it is a real nice luxury.  

Everything at work is wrapping up nicely.  Not too much left to do - a few meetings and quite a bit of paperwork and then I can walk away!  I think school may be out for the rest of my life. Being an OT in the school system just isn't for me.  I won't go into all the details - but I will walk away with mixed feelings about the whole thing.  At least I learned a lot - both about the system and about myself as a therapist.  

Off to Kona here soon - can't wait to relax and enjoy our friends and play in the ocean.  Then back to Colorado to move home!  I look forward to seeing many of you soon!!

24 and a half weeks

Polo Beach May 24th

Crazy - it is May 25th!!! These past few weeks have flown by! We have 6 days left in our apartment and fly to Kona in 12. We've been doing a good combination of enjoying our last days by kayaking and taking long walks on the beach and trying to pack and sell all our stuff. It is going pretty well - really the only things left to sell are our table, the surfboard and our car. The last being the most stressful - we hope the right buyer is on the island and wants it before the 6th of June. If only it had air conditioning - it is a bit hotter here than Kealakekua! What will be - will be!

Everything with the baby is going well. I feel him/her move around and kick several times each day now. The past 4 nights the baby is most active when I lay down to sleep between 9-10pm. Aaron got to feel a couple of nice strong movements the other night. I now look unmistakenly pregnant - which is nice. No more surprised looks when I say we're moving home to Colorado have our baby.

24 and 1/2 weeks

Becoming Mom!

This last week has been filled with more and more thoughts of becoming a mother. In a short 17 weeks I will have a child, a little person that is completely dependent upon Aaron, myself and family and friends that help out. I have to admit that it is a bit hard to wrap my head around. I still have so much to learn. I think all these thoughts are certainly part of the process, but I also think that the have been stirred up by the huge transition ahead of us. In 2 weeks we move out of our apartment, in 3 weeks I'm completely done working for who knows how long and in 4 weeks we will rejoin our life in Loveland. I think the being done with work thing is the biggest. I will then be able to spend most of my time preparing to be a mom - that will become my focus. Getting the house ready, the baby room ready, taking a Bradely class, preparing for the birth and reading about caring for an infant... I can't wait! I've been so blessed!

"Her children arise and call her blessed." Proverbs 31:28

"You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb."Psalm 139:13

22 1/2 Weeks

Another week has slipped away. It has been a nice week - our friends Todd and Alissa Murphy are here and it has been fun enjoying Maui with them. Mother's Day was good, but being pregnant with your first on Mother's Day is kind of funny. I went ahead and gladly took the rose at church and let the Indian Restaurant treat us with goodies - wine (which I let Alissa have (-: ), appetizers and free dessert that tasted like Fruity Pebbles. Pregnancy continues to be quite easy - still sleeping pretty well and no outstanding complaints - I count myself blessed. The baby is kicking more and I'm feeling something everyday now. Today he/she was kicking away on my way down Haleakala. Aaron, Todd and Alissa conquered Haleakala, riding their bikes from the beach all the way to the top at 10,023 feet. A meeting of mine got cancelled and so I was able to meet them at the top and take pictures along the way! I was a bit worried that I'd be bummed out about not getting to go surfing and biking with them - but fortunately I've really enjoyed being the photographer and have been okay with my reduced adventurous self.

Mothers Day

Haleakala Summit

Offended

Why is it so easy to be offended? I even had the thought earlier today that I need to be offended less often - as choosing a reaction is more important than what happens. Maybe it was God speaking a great idea into my head. Unfortunately, upon being tested this evening, I failed again. Words like daggers hit my heart in a sensitive spot and I react immediately with defensiveness and hurt. Uggghhh.... Not the result I desire. The type of reaction that then sets up another 3 poor communications and then lack of sleep. Praise the Lord for grace and forgiveness and more chances to let God transform the flesh.

Half way there!

Crazy - I'm 1/2 way there! 18 1/2 weeks left to go and I'm looking the part! It has been a fun week hanging out with my parents and spending the weekend with them in Waikiki. We're enjoying our lasts on the islands and trying to soak up as much sun as possible (I may have soaked up a little too much this weekend, opps). I'm still counting down - 24 days of school left. I'm still blown away that it is May!

Last week I was sitting in my office and felt 5 mini punches in there. While I've felt things I'm pretty sure were the baby, this couldn't be mistaken for anything else! Last Monday I had another doctor's visit and everything is good - the heart rate was still in the 140's. Aaron was out of town, so Mom got to go with me!

Here are the side shots from the last 2 weeks - what a difference a week makes!
The baby now weighs about three-quarters of a pound and is approximately 10 1/2 inches long.

My Heart is Still in Kona

It has now been 14 weeks since we left the Big Island and I'm still waking up in the morning wishing I were there and not here. I know this probably isn't healthy but it is how I really feel. Although my job is now much better than when I arrived, Aaron has a good job here and we do have a few friends - it still isn't home. Somehow in the year we were in Kealakekua - it became home. My friendships grew and I felt like part of the community. Both because I know we are leaving and others know we are leaving - my roots here in Maui are very shallow. Everyday I look forward to our one last visit to the Big Island in June and then moving home to Colorado. I feel like I'm killing time here in Maui (which I have to admit isn't a terrible place to be killing time). I'm just not as invested, I don't know my students very well, we have few people to hang out with in the evening and I am really really missing a few of my friends over on the Big Island. Well - it is life - this is where I will be for the next 6 weeks. It doesn't matter much that I would rather have spent this semester in Kona - there are lots of things I would rather have a different way.

Looking forward - Aaron has been in Loveland for the last few days and in our conversations I'm reminded that this is our permenant home. I'm looking forward to re-establishing our friendships and family time there. I'm sure that althought it will be hard to leave the warm ocean - that once back in Loveland I will quit waking up in the morning wishing I were somewhere else!

19 and a half weeks

Making progress!! This week I got - "oh, I can see your little bun!" and "if you're pregnant, you need to get fatter." and "how far along are you because you don't look pregnant?" I've heard that the comments continue to get better and that people really do think they can say anything to you if you are pregnant. It is kind of funny and maybe a little obnoxious!

I will focus on the first comment! For the first time this week I looked in the mirror and thought, yes - that looks pregnant - not just thicker!

The baby's brain is designating specialized areas for smell, taste, hearing, vision, and touch. He or she is just a bit larger this week - about 6 inches and 8 ounces.

Life - life is pretty good. Work is going smoothly for now, Aaron leaves for a wedding in Colorado on Wednesday and my parents get here for a visit on Thursday. We have been more active lately going on nice walks and even went out swing dancing last week. I'm still counting down the days - 34 more days of work and we get home to Colorado in 8 1/2 weeks. I think that the idea of having a baby in our arms in 20 weeks or so is becoming more and more real. Today Aaron looked at my tummy and said "I'll be ready to hold our little baby." Today I felt like the baby might be a girl - I don't know why - just a feeling. Tomorrow I might feel like maybe he's a boy! Who knows!? We are praising the Lord for the miracle of life!

18 and a half weeks

Well, I'm still waiting. On Thursday morning I was at a new school I'm servicing and was explaining to the vice principal why I could not work in the Kindergarten SPED room because of CMV exposure and she said surprised "What, you are pregnant?" So it is conclusive - to the unknowing person - although my uterus is the size of a cantelope - I look very not pregnant. Oh, well ... the day will come. But for now I will enjoy the last few times I fit in my jeans with the button fastened (-: Aaron laughs at me because I want to look "bigger" so people know. I guess it doesn't really matter - but I'm in that funny stage where I look bigger than I'm used to, but not pregnant. I guess it can't happen over night! Here are pictures of 8 1/2 weeks, 14 1/2 weeks and today at 18 1/2 weeks.

Any day now I should feel the baby's movements. For the last couple of weeks I have felt something every now and then, but am never sure that it is the baby. I'm excitedly anticipating the moment when I'm 100% sure that it is the baby. We have decided to hold off until we get back to Colorado for the ultrasound - so sorry no sneak peaks for a while. After reading a few things, I'm just not comfortable with it when there is no medical necessity.

The Baby at 18 weeks: Head to rump, the baby is about 5 1/2 inches long and he weighs about 5-7 ounces. He's busy flexing his arms and legs. His hands begin to make grasping motions, and he might even start sucking his thumb. His blood vessels are visible through his thin skin, and his ears are now in their final position, although they're still standing out from his head a bit. A protective covering of myelin is beginning to form around his nerves. The skeleton that started off as rubbery cartilage is starting to toughen up; and your baby's limbs are lengthening. The umbilical cord, pumped entirely by your baby's heart, can now circulate up to 28 litres (50 pints) of fluid a day.

Waiting to look pregnant...

Well, I was going to post some more pictures - but there isn't much to show. I look pretty much the same as I did at 14 1/2 weeks, but a little thicker is all. I've had fun putting each week into a Photoshop collage - so when there is actually something to show - I'll post the collage!

God's Goodness in Friendship

What a great couple of weeks! This spring break two of my very good friends came to play in Maui with me! It was just what I needed and such a blessing from the Lord! Here are a few snap shots of our fun!

14 1/2 weeks and Growing, Growing...

Wow, I just looked and the baby is now 3 1/2 inches long and about an ounce. No wonder there is a little bump in my front! The baby's finger prints formed this week and he/she has started to grow hair.

<---10 weeks 3 days and 14 weeks 3 days --->

Life is going a bit better than the last posting - praise the Lord!
Aaron is now working for a tech company close to our apartment!
I've been removed from those difficult cases and after Monday will have nothing more to do with them!
We had friends come to visit this last week and had a great time hanging out with them and their sweet 1 year old girl!
Spring Break is in one week and I have 2 dear girl friends coming to spend time on the island with me!

Trying...

I'm not sure where to start this posting. Life is good, but life is hard. There is much for us to be excited about - new life and by golly - we do live in Hawaii. However, life in Hawaii is hard right now. We really for the most part loved our life in Kona, our friends, our jobs, our church, our community... We haven't been able to find any of these sames loves here on Maui. I mentioned that my job is stressful - on occasion I break down and cry saying I can't do it any more. It is demanding, but that is not the real problem. There are a couple of parents here that have been disgruntled for a while about OT services because they can't keep an OT here in this job for more than 3-12 months. There have been 7 OT's in this particular school in the last 3 years. I think the piece these parents are missing, is that the way they treat the therapists may have a great deal to do with the amount of turn over. I've never felt more disrespected, unappreciated, and degraded in any job I've ever had. If I was not under contract to stay here - and had other job options close, I'd be gone, gone, gone. I am now in limbo waiting for the administration to figure out how to remove me from these cases. I think I'm the first person to stand up and refuse to bear the brunt of the anger and frustration that is misdirected and unreasonable. No other therapist I work with is willing to take these cases from me - as they have been hearing for years or have experienced first hand the abuse. Now I wait, wait and hope that there are options. So that is where I am - praying for a solution and trying very hard not to let the situation drag me down.

The other pieces that have made this transition difficult - Aaron is having a very hard time finding employment that will hire him for the short time we are here, we haven't found friends near us in Kihei - but we really can blame this on ourselves as we haven't tried very hard and last, all these things make me want to close my eyes and appear in Loveland - home, sweet home. I know I need to stay here until June, I know that God will give me the strength to finish my job here and I know that there is more joy to be had here in Maui for me. Knowing all these things, I still struggle, struggle with why we got moved here, why I have to be dealing with all of this when our first child is growing inside of me?

So here I sit - waiting, wondering and trying very hard to not let my mind and my interpretation of circumstances ruin God's promises to me. In the scheme of life, I know this is minor... but I will be ready to be on the other side of it all!

First Doctor's Visit

Today Aaron and I went to the doctor's for our first visit. Overall it was good and we like our doctor.

In addition to good, it was also a bit interesting. Here in Hawaii I've somehow ending up picking doctors who take all patients regardless of insurance coverage or income. In Kona I saw a doctor for my annual that was a nice guy, but I guess you could discribe his office as a mess! His wife interviewed you in the hallway, there were huge gaps above the rooms that allowed you to hear everything else going on, the bathroom was full of weird nicnacks and you got your percriptions at his desk piled high with papers on the floor and desk. Oh, did I mention that I had a very hard time understanding him through his thick accent. Even though, I never saw anybody else because he was nice and seemed like a good doctor.

Here in Maui the doctor that was suggested to me works for the commuinity clinic. My first visit they took over an hour to test my urine and tell me I was pregnant before they would schedule my visit with the doctor for another day. They pulled me into a file room where the scale was and then had me sit on broken chair - she went and tested my urine, came back and said, "you are pregnant" to which I replied "I'm not surprised" and then she handed my vitamins and said I could go schedule my appointment.

Today a straight faced nurse yelled my name, took me to the same file room and weighed me again and then said "did you pee in a cup?" I replied "ummm, was I supposed to?" She replied in an erritate voice "yes you are supposed to everytime." I replied "Oh, I guess I would need to know that?" I had just emptied my bladder and told her I may not have anything more to offer. She just walked off. Fortunately situation avoiding, I found an ounce to give. She then came in and said "hey you! come." and took me to my room. I laugh, because the clinic's motto is "Where Aloha is more than a word." She gets a -5 on the Aloha scale.

Okay, now on to the good part of the visit. Our doctor came in and was very friendly, knowledgable and kind. She asked how we heard about the clinic and we hold her that Dr. Hassell (a friend of ours) had recommended her. She said, oh yeah, he told me that he refered someone. She said "I asked him if he told you about the clinic? We are federally funded and most folks like you guys come once and never come back. I won't be offended if you go somewhere else, I know a couple of good OB's that you woud like." We thought this was pretty funny but were thankful for her honestly. We told her that we would be moving back to Loveland in June, and that as long as we can tolerate the nurses that we would like to stick with one doctor before we move.

Everything else went smoothly and she used the dopler to help us hear the baby's quick little heart beat. It was amazing, so fun to have audible signs of the life growing in me. I'm not going to go into too much detail about my issues with ultrasound. Before this visit I had decided that I only wanted one at 18-20 weeks to have them check the babies organs health and the cord's health. I had decided that I didn't want any others. However, I decided to let her take some quick pictures of the baby today. She had the ultrasound head on my tummy for less than 15 seconds and took 2 pictures of the baby to determine length. The baby is at a length average for 10 weeks, 1 day, 7 days behind our anticipated size. If it is within 7 days they keep the due date the same. My main motivation was to have an accurate due date so that they don't induce me earlier than they should, should I not start labor on my own. I decided that the 15 seconds with the ultrasound was worth not getting induced earlier than I should be. I guess I went into more detail than needed. (-:

So, everything looks good! Healthy heartbeat and a little peanut shaped baby is really inside me!!!!

A Baby On The Way!!!!

Yes - it is true! Aaron and I are expecting a baby due in September. We are so excited and yet still trying to wrap our heads around the idea as well. A child, being a mom and a dad, a lifetime commitment, the highest of joys and hard times as well, the greatest responsibility imaginable... It is nice that we have another 6 1/2 months to ponder and then a lifetime to learn how to fit the role! We look forward to it all with great anticipation, being so thankful for a faithful God, amazing family and wonderful friends to support us!

Okay - now for the details you may be wondering about -

Was it a surprise? Kind of - we were not, not trying and found out that those little pills did have a job to do the last 5 1/2 years.

When did we find out? 10 days before we moved away from Kona, in the beginning of January.

How far along am I? 10 1/2 weeks

How am I feeling? I'm so blessed that I'm doing quite well. Food isn't as appealing and dinner doesn't normally settle well, but no puking or nausea. This is a huge blessing considering that I just changed jobs and moved islands in the last 4 weeks. I am quite tired, but it is hard to tell if that is because my job is mentally stressful or if I can blame it on being pregnant.

When are you due? September 9th

How big is the baby? About an inch long and 1/4 ounce.

What is your plan? We are moving back into our home in Loveland, CO in June and praying that the right job is waiting for Aaron.

I think that covers it for now! We look forward to updating you on my growing tummy!