Visiting Washington

Last week I was blessed to get to spend the week with my dear friend from grad school and her family and close friends. Autumn and I flew to Spokane and drove down to the Palouse (I found out this is a geographic name specific to this place - meaning rolling hills). This trip was very filled with many emotions. Excitement, sadness, thankfulness, heart ache, joy, love and so much more. It was a wonderful trip - exactly where we were supposed to be.

This is the first time I've traveled back to this area since October of 2008 when I was there for Grace's Memorial service. I know it is not even fair to say this - as the great loss in that month was not my own - but that time in my life was undoubtedly one the hardest. Watching a dear friend go through the worst of losses here on earth - losing a sweet baby. The overwhelming grief and sadness - and wishing more than anything that I was able to give more support than I could being so very far away. I was so grateful for a window into my friend's heart through her blog - to feel close and connected to her when I was hundreds of miles away. I floundered to figure out how to be a friend in unspeakable grief. This loss quickly became a significant part of my life. I longed for communications and opportunities to love my friend. Tears frequently fall from my eyes as I pray for my friends and as think about the tragedy.

This last week was filled with joy and happiness in celebrating the gift of their daughter born in May. What a treasure she is. We got to soak in her coos, sleepy smiles, tender cuddles and sweet essence. What a blessing. To see joy and happiness on my dear friend's face as she tenderly cared for her daughter warmed my heart to the core. This incredible joy and happiness is a new chapter in life.
The emotions of sadness, grief and longing will forever linger. Sweet Grace will be missed forever and the dreams of what she would be doing will always come to mind. She'd be giving her tiny sister sweet kisses, hugging Autumn, getting excited about the birds in the back yard and crawling all over her mommy and daddy, as 2 year olds do. Monday Grace had her second birthday. I'm sure she had a grand party in heaven loving Jesus with a beautiful crown of gold. Here on earth she was missed and honored. With a lovely gathering of close friends, we honored Grace, remembered her with fondness, sang her happy birthday and cried out in grief that she wasn't with us. I was so honored to be there, to love, hug, cry, remember, and honor. I lack words to express the experience of the last 21 months, there really aren't words - only an ache. An ache that will really only go away when we all get to heaven and can all be together again.
It was sad to leave. I wished I lived closer. Again phone calls, emails and ecards will have to suffice, as presence isn't an option. Looking forward to the next visit!