What is in a date?

A lot of this may not make sense... my brain is trying to wrap it's self around emotions and thoughts. Our whole lives certain days hold meaning - there are holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, graduations days, due dates - dates seem to stick in my brain and each year certain dates mean certain things.

Coming up is the hardest date, and not because it is my own grief. One of my closest friend's lost her baby 4 years ago on this date - one that would be gladly forgotten - but that is just not possible. That isn't the way my brain works and I know hers doesn't either.

Here's where it is complicated (I'm not sure this is even the right word). Nine months ago I calculated my due date and with in minutes thought of how close it was to Grace's death date. I prayed I would either come earlier or later than this date - I really don't want to be celebrating the birthday of my child on one of the hardest dates for my dear friend each year. It just doesn't seem right. It is hard enough that it is the same season and no matter what will be really close. I don't know why it bothers me so, but it does. Even a few more weeks apart would be nice, but that isn't reality. So I will wait and hope for a different date, praying for my friend as she walks through this 4th season of more intense grief that comes as the leaves fall and the air grows crisp.

Sigh....

3rd Birthday Celebration!

Written 9/9/12

Taking full advantage of having family near, we had wonderful time celebrating Autumn's birthday in Denver yesterday! The whole immediate family that lives in Colorado was able to make it!  First we met at the park in front of the Children's Museum for lunch, cupcakes and presents.   Lunch was simple - fried chicken and delicious sides everyone brought.  Autumn enjoyed her sea life themed cupcakes even though we couldn't get the candles to light.  As soon as her cupcake was eaten she turned to me and said enthusiastically, "I'm ready to open my presents!" Autumn quickly opened all her wonderful gifts. What a different scene than 1 and 2 where she wanted to play with each one with reluctance to put it down to move on to the next package!  Although opening gifts appeared to be "part of the birthday routine" she has thoroughly enjoyed each of the gifts in the days since!  It was then time to pack up the food and gifts and head to the Denver Aquarium. We had left Glenwood Springs quite early that morning, Autumn got much less sleep than normal and didn't nap on the way over. I was a bit nervous of a tired birthday girl melt down at 2pm.  Thankfully she endured!  She was so excited about all the stuff in the aquarium and quickly zoomed from exhibit window to window!  She and Addy were on the same pace and enjoyed the same exhibits so Autumn spent most of the hour and a half with she and Aunt Lisa!  They seemed to enjoy the mermaids, jelly fish and petting the stingrays the most!  All 17 of us made our way through enjoying all the sea and river life as well as the Sumatran Tiger!  I would love to know how many photos were taken between the 6 grandparents and myself!  It was a fun birthday paparazzi! Around 2:30 we all finished up at the aquarium, Addy and Autumn rode the sea life carousel and we all parted ways. Autumn has been begging to ride in Papa's blue truck everywhere we go and so she loaded up with Nana and Papa and fell promptly asleep on the way to the motel.  She got a nice long birthday nap followed by a cold hotel pool swim!  We finished the evening with a lovely dinner at the Spaghetti Factory - Autumn enjoyed the old cable car parked inside and we got to sit in a canopy bed!  It was a wonderful fun filled 3rd Birthday!




Bonus Story!  We've been talking about this birthday for months!  Autumn's excitement for her birthday and what it would hold was so much fun to watch!  "I'm going to be 3!" "I will not be 2 anymore!"  The night before her birthday we talked about the day that was coming and she attempted to convince daddy that she was going to be 4! (-: Then 11, 14 and 16!   She had a very hard time going to sleep, getting up and telling us - "I haven't yawned yet, I'm not tired."  Finally I got her to stay in her bed and around 11pm she sang the "Happy birthday" song to herself and fell asleep.  So so cute!

False Alarm

I'm a planner, but babies make their own plans!  I had Autumn 1 day before her due date, labored for 62 hours and never had regular painful contractions until labor began.  I 'assumed'  that we'd be able to stay in Glenwood until 37 weeks without any problems.  I assumed wrong.  Last night, after being in Glenwood only 9 hours, I started having mild contractions at around 12:30. I got out of bed drank some water and sat on the couch.  After about 5 of these I decided to wake Aaron and think through what we should do.  Had we been where our hospital was, we would have relaxed and hoped they went away.  However we were 3 1/2 hours from our Dr. and really really not wanting to get stuck with labor intensifying unable to get to Loveland or having to make decisions in the car as to which hospital we should stop at. We waited about another 45 minutes with me in a warm bath and the contractions continued. So unable to determine if this could turn into real labor or not, we packed all our stuff and hit the road around 2.  We attempted to call the on call OB and the answering service must have written my phone number down incorrectly.  So when we got to McKee we debated if we should just wait until the clinic opened or just go get checked out. I went into the bathroom and had another 3 mild contractions and so we decided - since I'm 36 weeks, we know that she is likely only about 4 1/2 pounds we wanted to make sure that my cervix was holding steady.  Sure enough - no changes - just classic false labor.  They sent us 'home' - after calling our friends who are graciously letting us live at their home (who were expecting us next week after they left for Europe), we took off for their place to rest, nap and settle in.  I was able to take 2 naps and just relax doing computer stuff.  Aaron somehow managed to stay awake the rest of the day, work and go fix a leaking ice maker hose off the refrigerator at our rental.  Autumn was able to stay with my mom in Glenwood, sleep all night, rest and relax today (she had spent all day in the car back to Glenwood yesterday)  and then tomorrow Nana will drive her over to us.  I'm glad she didn't have to endure our sleep deprived-ness today and that we were able to get rest as well.  But I miss her - it was the first complete day, morning til night, away from her ever.

After reading a bit more about braxton hicks vs false labor vs real labor - it seems near impossible to know when or if false labor will turn into real labor or putter out and stop.  I read a few stories of women that had several episodes of what seemed like it was real labor for up to 12 hours that gets your hopes up and then just stops.  So now that we don't have to wonder if we can make it to the hospital in time - we'll hope that she stays in there a couple more weeks and that we are able to discern when it is really time to go to the hospital! 

A Fabulous 3 Years!!!

Sweet Girl! Today is your third birthday and I'm in a bit of denial that it was really three years ago you were born to us!   It has been an amazing 3 years watching you grow into a little girl!  The last year has been full of lots of adventure, hugs, kisses, knucks, high fives, daddy scratches, mommy armpit digs and a roller coaster of over joyful to melt down 2 year old emotions. 

Lifetime Fun Facts:
States you have visited: 13
Foreign Countries you have been in: 4
Airline Miles Flown: 51,433
Number of Zoos you have visited: 5 (Oregon, Denver x3, Bangkok,National x3 and Hilo)
The animal you still love the most: Monkeys (technically the Gorilla this last visit)
Times you have moved: 4 - Loveland to Pullman to Kona to Glenwood Springs. This doesn't include stents of extended travel.
Different locations you have slept: 54

Development:
Motor things you can now do:
- Ride a Tricycle
- Run as fast as your pregnant mom (-:
- Jump off 3+ foot platform/stairs and land on your feet
- Climb rocks and play structures far too high for safety
- Almost swim - you are so close, you can come up for breaths but can't really go where you want to consistently
- Latch our own car seat buckles
- Pull clothes out of your closest while standing on your toy box
- Gather and put on all clothing (80% the correct way) - you come up with some pretty fun outfits, the other day you chose black polka dot pants, a white sweater under a slip and red, white and blue tank top with butterfly wings and reindeer ears to boot!   Pretty awesome!  Your are very good at getting your own swim suit on too.
- Button shirts with medium sized buttons
- Brush your own teeth pretty well
- Starting to learn to use safety scissors
- Color with in a few inches of the lines
- Use glue sticks to make paper projects
- Went down a 2 story pool slide on your own with a life jacket on
 
Language:
You speak mostly in complete sentences, are very easy for me to understand and fairly easy for others to understand.  You pick up new words instantly and put them to use - like the other day you learned phenomenal and have used it several times on your own.  You continue to be very good at remembering people's names and who they belong with and where you saw them.  You saw a picture at the Maui Aquarium and said, "Ms. Eden works there."  You ask a lot of questions and went through a 'why' to everything stage a few weeks ago. Luckily it seems to have passed and you are back to asking a variety of good questions.  Often times you will ask questions just to check your knowledge and make sure what we say matches what you think.  If you ask too many questions, we turn them back on you and you usually have the right answers.   You enjoy making up words and will say, "that means _____" or :that means _______ in Spanish."  The past couple of weeks since watching sesame streets "Kids favorite songs," you sing and sing and sing.  Sometimes it is the real words to Twinkle, ABC, Baa Baa, Row Row... and sometimes you just make up your own words and tunes.  You learn your books easily and quickly and can tell the story back to us after only a couple of times reading it. In the past couple of months your clarity on the phone has greatly improved and sometimes you enjoy talking at length on the phone.  You pretty much have the words to describe anything in your world and are fun to have conversations with.  


PreSchool Learning:
Most of the time you know your shapes - circle, oval, triangle, square, rectangle, star, heart
Can count to 10, but most of the time jump around everywhere - 1,2,3,12,11,45,78...
You occasionally have one to one correspondence to 5, but always to 3
You are starting to learn the numbers, but only recognize the number 1 every time
Match and name colors well
You do familiar (been done 2-3 times before) 24 piece puzzles independently
Match foam shapes onto a design boards
Sort by color, shape, type...
Make forms similar to model - you built a pretty good turtle out of Play Doh today
Sing your ABC's and recognize many of the letters


Safety Police: You know the rules you have been taught and enjoy letting others know about them - especially locking the trash can lid and buckling up.

Social Emotional:
Your friends you talk about the most are those we left in Kona - Jackson, Tosh, Carson, Taylor, Brookie, Jayel, Rayel, Mahina and Baby Corenza.  When we got to Colorado you and we'd talk about your friends (Jackson, Carson and Tosh) to others, you'd say "He's my best boy!"
You had a wonderful time with Eric in Maryland and Mara a few weeks ago in Washington
You still have a strong sense of mine and have a hard time sharing things that you have or others have that you want.
With adult help you will compromise most of the time and accept turn taking or other solutions to share toys
You do really well in a preschool, Sunday school or daycare situations
Your sense of independence is very strong and you insist on trying for a very long time before requesting help.
You are pretty good at labeling general emotions of yourself and others

Personality:

• Adaptability: You are highly adaptable - we have drug you all over creation, you have slept in so many different places, you have flown over 50,000 miles without a single serious in airplane melt down.  One stretch we went 6 weeks not sleeping in the same place for more than 3 nights and flying from Hawaii to Asia and back to the east coast. You have a highly variable bedtime depending on what is going on and you can sleep anywhere if you need to.  You are very adventurous and want to check everything out, enjoying new foods, experiences, games, toys...  "something I haven't had before." Although you are highly adaptable, you tend to be fairly inflexible with some personal need requests where ever we are.  If you decide you really need something like juice, you persist even if it is not an option and it takes a lot of convincing to make life okay without it.
• Disposition: You are a pretty happy girl and keep yourself entertained with or without us. You tend to be compassionate and like to comfort others.  I lost our B&B key a few weeks ago in the car after the wedding we went to and you kept telling me, "It's okay mama, don't worry we will find it. I will help you."  It was so sweet.  When you learn of a friend that is hurt you ask about them and pray for them for weeks, even after it has resolved.  Unassisted you will often times ask us and others how our day was.
• Sensitivity: You are not very sensitive: sensory, emotionally or physically.  For pain it usually takes a lot to make you cry - a serious fall or bonk.  Like tonight I accidentally bumped your head into a wall and it made a horrible noise - I quickly said sorry and you were fine. Most things like loud noises, speed, pressure... don't bother you.  You like the swing as fast as it will go, you jump off of everything, and you like to spin (even though you get quite dizzy)! For the first time in the pool the other day you got scared when I didn't help you as soon as you would like and you will stay under for like 6-10 seconds.  You are crazy brave and have no problem jumping off a diving board, holding a tarantula, going out on a surf board and getting nailed in the face by waves.   Emotionally you typically need intense emotion to react - you will quickly and firmly tell us no if we ask you to do something you don't want to do.  You do not back down easily and usually need reminded of what consequence will come if you do not listen and obey our requests.  Firm and consistent boundaries have been very important through this last year.  In the last 2 months you have had far fewer fits and think about the consequences of your actions more clearly.  Although you are highly opinionated and strong willed, you still really enjoy pleasing and helping us and others.

You are fully potty trained and only need assistance to wipe #2

Biggest events of this year:  Aulani with the Browns, Kauai and Christmas with Nana and Papa, Finding out you will be a sister, Vacation to Uncle Chad, Aunt Christie and Eric's in Maryland, Moving in with Nana and Papa, our road trip to Oregon and Washington

You are such an amazing young girl! We are so proud of you and excited to see all the things you are able to do and enjoy doing!  We love watching your understanding of God grow and can't wait for your faith to take course and deepen and strengthen!  We love you to the moon and back and back and forth over and over!!!

Love,
Mommy and Daddy

35 weeks

Time is flying!  I've had good intentions to write a pregnancy post for about 3 weeks. We've put about 3500 miles on the car since the last post between Dr. appointments in Loveland and a wonderful 2 week vacation to Oregon and Washington!  We've stayed so busy that sometimes I run my belly into something and it reminds me that we are getting so close to finally meeting you!  You are one active little babe in there, I'm so curious if that will continue once you are out!  We had a Dr. visit in early Aug and then again last week.  My belly has measured small since 29 weeks and it is finally small enough that Dr. Slack wants an ultrasound just to make sure you are doing alright.  Since Autumn was only 6 pounds and you are so low in my pelvis, he isn't worried, but we need to be sure you have enough amniotic fluid and that you are growing alright.  Likely you are just low and small - which would be great!  We'll have the ultrasound on the 10th after another Dr. visit and then we will head to Loveland and stay until you are born on the 19th.  You really will be here before we know it!  


How far along: 35 Weeks

Size of Baby: about 18 inches and 4 1/2-5 pounds

Total Weight Gain/Loss: 27 lbs

Maternity Clothes: Yes!  Everyday! Luckily a couple of friends have loaned me some shirts, jeans and skirt to give my wardrobe a bit more variety!

Gender: Baby Girl!!

Movement:  All day long it seems that you are stretching out - I feel your feet on my side every 10-30 minutes.  My whole belly gets hard and I can feel your behind and feet pushing in opposite directions. I think it is your knees I'm feeling around my belly button and often times I can feel elbows or hands really low in my belly.  I've felt hiccups a couple of times, but it seems to be many fewer than Autumn had. Last Thursday I had a Dr. visit and he said you are really really low in my pelvis.

Sleep: Fairly well - I have a hard time going to bed which is a combination of my night owl preference and the fact that you push, jump, and kick pretty much solid between 10-12 pm and I need to pee 3-5 times during that time as well.  After I make it to bed I'm sleeping about 3 hours at a time and then needing to pee.  Since returning from our vacation I've started having leg cramps that wake me occasionally as well. Not to bad though! 

Symptoms:  Peeing all day long and some low belly pain if I'm too active the day before - like playing chase with Autumn (-:  I occasionally have mild reflux if I eat something too acidic.

Best Moment This Week:  Autumn kissing, hugging and talking to you through my belly and daddy feeling you kick.

What I'm Most Looking Forward To: Newborn cuddles, learning about your personality and watching you and Autumn be sisters

Re-Cap Road Trip 2012 - second half

Pullman - Our time in Pullman was fantastic!  We all had such a great time getting to spend time with our wonderful friends just enjoying life together!  While the dads worked during the week we went to parks, swam, played at the house, did paint, play doh, bed jumping, worked on a sewing project, got baby Vivi cuddles and coos and talked and talked!  If only we could be neighbors... forever! (-:  The evenings were spent taking walks, playing in the sandbox, riding the tricycle, watching Thomas, playing trains, reading books and anything else that sounded good!  The girls enjoyed bath time, bed time snack and brushing together each night!   It just couldn't have been a better week - for 2 year olds, they did a pretty good job sharing.  Mara was so sweet sharing her toys and playing! Autumn had her share of bossiness that needed tamed, but on the whole they got along so well!  Over the weekend the dads did a park date, I got to practice on them for a family photo shoot, we went to church and to a lovely lunch at South Fork!  Wish we could have stayed a month, but Dr. appointments called us back to Colorado!  We made the 17 hour drive in 2 days this time. We stayed at an RV camp in Eden the first night after a beautiful mountain drive through Idaho.  Then we decided to just make it home when we got to Roosevelt early the second day.  We visited and did dinner with Connie and Briella before pounding out the last 3 1/2 home!  It was a really great 2 weeks and we feel so blessed to have such good friends to spend time with!

                                                                Bath tub swimming

                                                                         Bed Jumping

                                                                Pre Swimming jumping

                                                                     34 week belly

                                                              Walk to the blue tower

                                     Feeding Llamas, sheep, horses, ducks... at Sunnyside park

 

  Super Grover Jumping!

                                                             The 5 girls (soon to be 6)!!!

 

                                                                   On the road again!

                                                               Beach we found in McCall, ID