Parenting

After discussing parenting tonight - I continue to ponder and pray about my roll as a mother. Up until the last few months, my roll has been to love and care. Showing Autumn she can trust me to care for all of her basic needs. It is a wonderful thing, easy to enjoy simply pouring out love and soaking in cuddles. Then the will... first it was a look, "the don't you dare take that from me" look. Then the stiff body protesting getting into the carseat, the yelling, then the tantrum, now the "no, no, no!"

This parenting thing is tough and I know it has only just begun. I'll be honest, my mind already jumps to the future and dreads the teen years. (I've dreaded parenting the teen years since I was a teen) Then my mind jumps back to the present - how can I help Autumn be safe, honest, caring, compassionate, loving, faithful... She understands nearly everything I say now, but her ability to follow through, go against her own desires and obey is very very difficult. She has my personality - she is strong willed and curious. Safety is far from her first priority (since she is far too young to predict or understand many consequences) and she is so mobile. Yesterday she got my mascara off the counter and put it on (daddy got to clean that one up - sorry). The other day she fell off the edge of the couch reaching for a desired item. I can tell her a 100+ times not to touch the buttons on the room heaters and she forgets I'm in the room and starts pushing the buttons and startles when I get after her. Ahh........

I say this not because I think she is a bad kiddo, but because I'm realizing that setting boundaries and expectations is so hard and she is going to explore, push and learn. Being 100% consistent is so important, yet impossible. Keeping her safe is difficult. I try hard - but I'm merely practicing, I haven't done this before. We will butt heads and I will make mistakes.

My hope is that we come out in 18 years relatively un-scared - both physically and emotionally. That she becomes a God fearing, loving, compassionate, honest, caring member of society. That I learn and grow in love, patience, and peace.

Children have the ability to bring joy unspeakable and pain deeper than the sea. They will make us proud to call them our own. They will make poor choices that will bring tears and sadness. Lord help us in this journey - we need you foremost.

My Parenting Prayer -
Lord build my faith so you will be the focus of our family.
Lord help me to give you credit for all things so my children see you around them.
Lord help us to be honest so we can meet each others needs.
Lord teach us how you love so that we may love each other more wholly.
Help me to be kind and firm in my discipline so my children will know right from wrong.
Lord help me grant grace and patience- to my children as they learn and for myself when I make mistakes.
Help me to learn, love, laugh and become the parent you want me to be. Amen.