Merry Christmas!

26 and 27 1/2 months

Baby Girl - I knew a time would come when I would fall behind on monthly updates - maybe it is because life is busy or maybe all the changes and your milestones have naturally slowed a bit? The last couple of months have been busy, fun and unfortunately also full of illness. You are going on your 5th straight week of cough and sinus drainage. I think you keep catching new virus' and there are plenty to go around right now. The fact that you are cutting your 2 year molars and want your fingers in your mouth makes it hard. This last week you got a fever and then broke out in a rash - Rosela. As always, you take illness by the horns and it doesn't slow you down a bit. You haven't been sick enough to visit the Dr., thank goodness, as we would like to keep you as far from antibiotics as possible for awhile. The yeasty beast has yet to leave us alone - it has been a long hard battle, but someday soon we hope we will beat it.

Okay - enough about being sick - here is a snippet of your life at the moment.

Events: In October we went to a reef talk event, a pumpkin patch party, had dinners with the Simanjuntaks and Keisers, you ran the Keiki loop at the Run for the Dry Forest, and dressed up as triathlete and hula dancer for halloween. In November we celebrated Mommy's 30th birthday, went to a Hula competition in Waikoloa, and the Coffee Parade with Becca and Calvin. We got to spend Thanksgiving at a condo on the ocean side and spend time with good friends. So far in December we went to the light festival in Holualoa and saw baby Jesus at the Nativity and you got to spend a week in Oahu at the Disney Aulani with your cousins, Grandma, Papa, Uncles and Aunt. Five days later we went to Kauai with Nana and Papa and stayed 100 feet from the ocean. To say the least - we are all a bit spoiled and trying to enjoy every minute of it!


Personality: You continue to be free thinker - you have a lot of 'good ideas' and want to do things the way you think is best. We enjoy seeing your independence and creativity grow. This personality trait also leads to a bit of trouble when your good ideas are dangerous or obstinate to what we need you to do. Just this week you've started to yell no and stop at us while you swat at us if we ask you to do something you don't want to. All I can say it isn't doesn't end well for you. Hoping you figure out that it isn't a good idea soon. Most of the time you love to giggle and play and really are a great bundle of joy. You take great joy in loving and taking care of your babies. You have are very gentle and sweet with real babies and animals. You love to color and have started saying "now a w, k, l and a, x ..." as you scribble. You like imaginative play with your babies and little people. You spend huge amounts of time having them live out life.

New Phrases we hear all the time now: 'Right Now,' 'I have a good idea,' 'but I need it', 'just one more'

The other day you were trying to convince me to give you a clean disposable diaper for your babies and told me, "But I need to put a night diaper on Lily."

At the condo we were in the pool and a young girl about 7 or 8 got in hear us. You said, "What's that?" I said, "You know, you tell me." "Mama it is a girl." "Yes you are right. Can you ask her her name?" After a pause you said, "Mama she doesn't have any words."

In Oahu you would ask daddy, "where are my girls (Addy and Camry)?"


At the park in Kauai you look at the chickens and say, "Sorry chickens, we don't have anything for you."

You are quite the communicator and can pretty much describe and explain everything you need to. You can tell me where you have pain, how you want or do not want your food. You see things out the window of the car and tell me about it - stop signs and lights, buildings, trucks, motorcycles... You ask a lot of questions - what's this, what's that, did you hear that, what you did? On occasion you will spontaneously say thank you for things and you are working on please and sorry. You can read several of your books from memory and know many of the words to many books if we pause to let you fill in the blank. You love videos and we try to limit you to one show a day. Curious George, Dora, Care Bears and Shawn the Sheep are your current favorites. You continue to amaze me by how many wh questions you are able to answer. The last few weeks you go down for naps and bed time very easily. You just need a baby, a book and a blanket.

Foods: Since we are fighting yeast still - we are trying to limit sugar and gluten products. You love pasta, but luckily you like quinoa and rice noodles as a substitute. A typical lunch can include avocado, cheese, yogurt and granola, banana, applesauce, lunch meat, Okanawan sweet potato, rice noodles. You will sometimes try our food, but don't like anything saucy. New foods the last couple of months are fried calamari and little octopus. You really enjoyed both! You eat really well and although you may not eat right with us at meal time, you get plenty of calories to keep growing! Your pick of the week is 'cake.' Whole grain rice cake that is - love it!

Motor Skills - you are really trying to learn to swim - you jump in over and over and over and over - hold your breath and wait for us to help you up for a breath. If you are kicking and scooping really well you can almost get your head above water. With your water wings on you can cruise pretty well, only needing an occasional nudge or flip. In calm waters, you cruse in and out with the pull of the waves even when your feet are not touching.

Discipline and potty training - Timeouts quit working. You seem to really understand that when you do not listen or do something we've asked you not to, that a baby or toys will go in the closet. It is rough on all of us, but really the only consequence that seems to make an impression. You have gotten into quite some trouble with your crayons at home and a pen at the Aulani. Your experimental tendencies far out way your fear of trouble. You have a pretty strong will and we are sure it will serve you well in the future. For right now we just have to help you learn the rules, how to be a good listener and how to be safe. Potty training comes and goes. Before you went to Oahu you were going pee in the potty 2-3 times a day. Now you have no interest again and you even put your potty chair in the closet. Soon enough you will want to use the potty and wear big girl underware. I told you this and you replied, "But I'm little mommy." Soon enough I'm sure you will become more interested.
We love you sweetheart and are so blessed to spend each day with you! We love you all the way to the moon and back everyday!!! Love, Mommy and Daddy

Improved Granola

Here is my newest version - I think I like it the best so far

Mix 2 eggs, about a cup of peanut butter and 1/4 cup coconut oil

Add in 1/3-1/2 cup oat bran and milled flax

Mix rolled oats in until it is the consistency of granola

Bake on cookie sheet for 30 minutes at 350 degrees

Let cool and then mix in 1/3 cup raisins, 1/4 cup dried apricots, 1/4 chopped mac nuts, 1/4 cup chopped almonds and as much shredded coconut as you like. Stir in honey to desired sweetness or none at all.

10 years

The picture on the left is when I was 21! On the right is yesterday - my 30th birthday! (both with flowers from my honey!) Still looks like me (-:

Good Bye 20's, Hello 30's

Today is my last day in my 20's! Another decade has past - my third here on planet earth. I will never again be in my 20's... kind of strange. This may be a long one, but I have a lot to cover - this has been a really fantastic 10 years.

Things I learned in my 20's:
Life really is about serving my Lord
Friends are seasonal - but the really great ones stick around for a life time
A good marriage is wonderful, humbling and a work in progress
The benefits of hard work are almost always worth the effort
Children are a treasure from God
Parenting is the most rewarding, yet hardest and most stressful job I've ever had
There are a lot more people out there than I thought, that think nothing like I do
God will always take care of me - even if it doesn't look like what I think it should

Things I've accomplished:
Bachelors and Masters Degrees with honors
Becoming a home owner
A little World Traveling - England, Zambia, New Zealand, Fiji, Mexico, Belize, Thailand and Myanmar
Longs Peak 10K - 10,000 foot elevation gain in 45 miles on bike/ hiking in about 17 hours
Olympic Triathlon - .9 swim/ 24.8 bike/ 6.2 run
Giving natural childbirth
Starting my own tiny small business

Random Stats for the 3rd Decade:
# different places I've lived: 14
States I've been to: 31
National Parks I've visited: 11
Different airplanes I've been on: 94
Adventure Sports I tried: 3 (bungy, skydiving, rock climbing)
Employers: 9

Best Times:
Studying Abroad
Getting Married
Traveling - US and abroad
Having and raising a child

Hardest times:
Africa
The first year of marriage
Watching friends and family grieve
Watching my child be in pain

Big areas I'd like to grow in:
Be more Humble
Be less Judgmental
Be more Gracious (especially with my family)

The last 10 years have been completely amazing! God had shaped me, spoiled me and helped me to grow into a better person. He still has a lot of work to do in my heart - but the growing up I did in my 20's was quite dramatic. I went from a wandering, not sure what I was going to do with my life single - to a committed wife, mother and medical professional. Quite a transformation! I've learned that other than commitment to my God, family and friends, I'm not super committed to anything else. I've still never had long term committed job and I quite enjoy contract and PRN work. I enjoy a non routine, routine life. I thrive on change and challenges. I enjoy helping people and helping them get more out of life. I enjoy teaching and still have serious interest in health and nutrition (this is carry over from the teen years). I enjoy seeing the world, experiencing culture and talking to people who see the world through different lenses than my own.
Although life has been really good, life is still hard. I now think it is supposed to be that way - the hard and awful moments in life shape us more than all the others. They shape our passions and help us to focus on the goal of serving the Lord and getting to heaven with others. Pain and suffering makes us compassionate, more loving and helps us to focus on what really matters in life. I pray that what ever pain comes my way, that I don't let it numb me, but that I let it push me forward.
Adulthood is full of joy, hardship and a lot of responsibility. I look forward to the next decade and know God has so much to show me and so many ways to use me for His glory.

Goals for the fourth decade:
Serve the poor
Mentor and be mentored
Spend more time in the Word of God.
Be a more gracious parent and wife
Teach

Teaching Classes!!!

Pregnancy Superfoods

Here is the Superfood list I compiled for the class I'm going to be teaching - thought I would post it! (and for those that might wonder, I'm not currently pregnant - praying for God's perfect timing)

http://www.webmd.com/diet/guide/pregnancy-superfoods
During pregnancy, healthy foods provide the optimum mix of baby-building nutrients. Starting in the second trimester, you'll need about 300 additional calories in your diet every day.

Here are some choice foods to add to your pregnancy diet, making those extra calories count by providing a variety of nutrients that benefit you and your child.

Beans: Chickpeas, lentils, black beans, and soybeans supply fiber, protein, iron, folate, calcium, and zinc.
Enjoy: In chili and soups, salads, and pasta dishes; as hummus with whole-grain crackers or in roll-up sandwiches.

Beef : Lean cuts of beef, such as top sirloin steak, pack protein, vitamins B6, B12, and niacin as well as zinc and iron in highly absorbable forms. Beef is also concentrated in choline, required for brain development and peak cognitive powers
Enjoy: Add lean ground beef to pasta sauces, use in tacos, as burgers, in stir-fry dishes, and in chili.

Berries: They're packed with carbohydrates, vitamin C, potassium, folate, fiber, and fluid. The phytonutrients in berries are naturally occurring beneficial plant compounds that protect cells from damage.
Enjoy: On top of whole-grain cereal, in smoothies made with yogurt or milk, in pancakes, and in salads. Layer yogurt with berries and crunchy whole-grain cereal for a dessert parfait.

Broccoli: For the folate, fiber, calcium, lutein, zeaxanthin, carotenoids to foster healthy vision, and potassium for fluid balance and normal blood pressure. Broccoli also contains the raw materials for vitamin A production in the body.
Enjoy: As part of pasta and stir-fry dishes, steamed and topped with a smattering of olive oil, pureed and added to soups, or roasted: chop broccoli into bite-sized pieces, coat lightly with olive oil and roast on a baking sheet at 400 degrees Fahrenheit until tender, about 15 minutes.

Cheese (pasteurized): Cheese supplies concentrated amounts of calcium, phosphorus, and magnesium for your bones and your baby's, plus vitamin B12 and protein (use reduced-fat varieties, such as Cabot 50% Light Cheddar to save on calories, fat, and cholesterol).
Enjoy: As snacks with whole-grain crackers or fruit, sprinkled on top of soups, in salads, sandwiches, and omelets.

Eggs: supply the gold-standard of protein because they provide all of the amino acids you and your baby need to thrive. They also include more than a dozen vitamins and minerals, such as choline, lutein, and zeaxanthin. Certain brands supply the omega-3 fats baby needs for brain development and peak vision, so check the label.
Enjoy: In omelets and frittatas, in salads and sandwiches, in homemade waffles, crepes, and whole-grain French toast, as snacks, hard-cooked, or scrambled.

Milk: It's an excellent source of calcium, phosphorus, and vitamin D -- bone-building nutrients mother and child require every day. Milk also packs protein, vitamin A, and B vitamins.
Enjoy: Plain or flavored, in smoothies made with fruit, over whole-grain cereal and fruit, and in pudding. Prepare oatmeal in the microwave with milk instead of water.

Orange Juice (fortified): Orange juice with added calcium and vitamin D contains the same levels of these nutrients as milk. Plus, orange juice supplies hefty doses of vitamin C, potassium, and folate.
Enjoy: Plain or frozen as pops or ice cubes, as part of smoothies.

Pork Tenderloin: Pork tenderloin is as lean as boneless, skinless chicken breast, and it serves up the B vitamins thiamin and niacin, vitamin B6, zinc, iron, and choline.
Enjoy: Grilled, broiled, or baked.

Salmon: For the protein, B vitamins, and the omega-3 fats that promote brain development and vision in babies.
Enjoy: Grilled or broiled, use canned salmon in salads and sandwiches.
Sweet Potato: Sweet potatoes pack vitamin C, folate, fiber, and carotenoids -- compounds your body converts to vitamin A. They also supply potassium in large amounts.
Enjoy: Baked, sliced cold, cooked, peeled potatoes for snacks and side dishes, mashed with orange juice, and roasted: slice washed sweet potato into wedges, coat lightly with canola oil, and roast on a baking sheet at 400 F, until tender, about 15 to 20 minutes.

Whole Grains: Enriched whole grains are fortified with folic acid and other B vitamins, iron, and zinc. Whole grains contain more fiber and trace nutrients than processed grains, such as white bread, white rice, and white flour.
Enjoy: Oatmeal for breakfast, whole-grain breads for sandwiches, brown rice, wild rice, whole-wheat pasta, or quinoa for dinner, popcorn, or whole-grain crackers for snacks.

Yogurt (plain greek, plain low-fat or fat-free): For the protein, calcium, B vitamins, and zinc. Plain yogurt contains more calcium than milk. Read the label for protein and sugar content – not all yogurts are made equal.
Enjoy: Stir in: fruit preserves or honey, fresh or dried fruit, or crunchy whole-grain cereal. Use plain yogurt to top cooked sweet potatoes or to make smoothies.
Reviewed by Michael W. Smith, MD on January 08, 2010

Additional power foods:
Papaya: An excellent source of vitamin C (300% DV). It is a very good source of folate (28% DV) and potassium. In addition, it is a good source of dietary fiber, vitamin E, vitamin A and vitamin K.
Enjoy: Add slices of fresh papaya to your morning cereal, lunch time yogurt or green salads. Cut a papaya in half and fill with cottage cheese, crab, shrimp or tuna salad. For an elegant meal, place slices of fresh papaya over any broiled fish. http://www.whfoods.com/genpage.php?tname=foodspice&dbid=47#howtouse

Spinach: Spinach and other dark leafy greens are loaded with calcium, folic acid, vitamin K and iron. It's also rich in vitamin C, fiber, carotenoids, lutein and bioflavanoids.
Enjoy: Sinach makes a delicious salad. Add the green leaves to your sandwich or saute it for stir fries, eggs, and pastas. Frozen spinach can be baked into casseroles or stirred into soups. Freeze and add to smoothies, baked goods or cereal – you can’t really taste it.
http://multiples.about.com/od/pregnancy/tp/twinpregnancyfood.htm

Peanut butter: offers the nutritional benefits of thiamin, niacin, potassium and zinc. It's high in the protein and also offers some iron. It also provides a source of healthy fat, a better option than butter or margarine which don't have the nutritional side benefits.
Enjoy: It makes is a great snack or breakfast treat on whole grain toast and crackers, on apple slices or celery.
http://multiples.about.com/od/pregnancy/tp/twinpregnancyfood.htm

Shrimp: Seafood is delicious and nutritious, but many varieties aren't recommended for pregnant moms due to elevated mercury levels and other chemicals. Shrimp, however, is generally considered safe. Shrimp are an excellent source of low fat protein, selenium and Vitamin D.
Enjoy: They're also versatile - easy to prepare and serve in stir-frys, pastas or even on their own with some cocktail sauce. Just don't eat it raw. Save the sushi or ceviche for after the babies are born. http://multiples.about.com/od/pregnancy/tp/twinpregnancyfood.htm

Your body does what it is trained to do

I ran a race I probably should not have today. I don't regret it, as I wanted to see the area of the island it was on. It was absolutely gorgeous with mountain and ocean views, singing birds in the dry forest and nene all over the start/finish area. I'm also glad I didn't get too hurt. As I painful climbed (maybe 1/2 jogging and 1/2 fast hiking) the 1200 feet elevation gain, I kept thinking "I should not expect to feel any better than this because I haven't really trained." I have maybe done 5 runs since the triathlon on Aug 28th, the longest one being about 4.5 miles. I kept my heart rate up the whole time, but didn't push too hard. I did get over zealous as a down hill runner was catching me and I tried to speed up only to roll my ankle (-: Luckily it wasn't too bad and was okay if I kept a moderate speed running. Anyway - back to training. I keep coming back to how important time usage is. I will become what I train to be. My main rolls in life should dictate my time use. I feel like I've been pretty okay at mommy training, health training and job training - but my child of God training and wife training have been lacking lately. Today was a nice reminder from God about the importance of these things... may I spend more time training with appropriate effort towards all the most important roles in life God has given me.

Passion

I've recently started volunteering on Thursday evenings at the Pregnancy Center here in Kona. The gal who runs it came to our church a few weeks ago and said that they needed volunteers. I instantly new I desired to help, I wasn't sure in what capacity, but I could feel God tugging on my heart strings and I had excitement about it. The first day we did the initial interview to see what might be a good fit for my skills. I would be allowed to train to do ultrasounds because I'm an OT, but because we're trying to get pregnant I decide that wasn't a good fit (there is research that ties excessive exposure to miscarriage). Based on my interests and their need we decided I would train to do earn while you learn, a program where costumers can earn gift cards to Target while watching informational videos on an array of topics and hopefully teach a few classes on other nights. Everyone learns to do all the office tasks and so my first couple of weeks were spent doing that. Last week I got to sit in on an initial interview and that was good. I won't be here long enough to train to be a full on peer counselor, but may need to do the initial intake if no one else is there to do it when I'm there.

This brings us to today and my passion. This evening I showed up and the other volunteer said there was an Earn While you Learn couple there, would I like to do it with them? Sure, why not - learn while I go. I got everything set up and the next lesson on her list was one without a video. She asked if we could do one with a video, since this was her SO's first time attending. The next video was SIDS - reducing the risks. Unfortunately and fortunately this is a topic I know well. I'm well versed and read on the most recent findings. The video was fairly outdated as it showed loose blankets over young infants and crib bumpers. The information was pretty good, but I'm going to try and find one on the most recent recommendations for the center. I was able to print out the firstcandle guidelines to supplement the information. After talking to the director, she asked if I would like to teach a regular class on SIDS prevention at the center. I'm so excited to have the opportunity to share my passion for life saving information in our community. The more I've thought about it, I think I want to pair it with a pre-natal nutrition class. Hopefully this will work out!

25 months

Autumn, the first month of your 2nd year is now complete. It has been quite a rough month for you in different arenas - but you are none the less happy through it all! You are more compassionate, seem to understand prayer better and have made many cognitive and motor gains.

Firsts:
Independent prayer
Swimming with arm little swimmers
A more serious medical issue (you can read about your battle with MRSA in mommy's journal)
"Rock climbing" at Kua Bay
Reading books you've memorized
Sitting forward facing in the car seat - you've now puked 2x on windy roads, so although you have not maxed out the backwards weight limit - we turned you forward. You made it almost 25 months backwards.
Kona Carnival


Things you love:
Your babies Lily and Nancy
Outside play - beach or park
Running
Shoulder rides
Looking in the mirror
Ketchup (nuggets and homemade fries are really a ketchup delivery method)
Cow Milk
Puzzles
Reading
Singing
Cuddles
Brushing your teeth
Doing anything on your own - dressing, puzzles, toys...
Curious George and Dora

Things you dislike:
Getting in the car seat
Us talking to each other or others - you start shouting "Autumn talk to her mommy!"
Using the potty
Going to bed or nap - you say "It's not nap time" over and over when it coming soon
Saucy (spicy) things

Stories -
Logic - You had to take a lot of medicine this month and much of it was quite yucky. A couple of time you just didn't want to eat your medicine applesauce. After different attempts and a lot of time telling you is was important, I finally decided I'd try logic - I said "Baby, if you don't take your medicine your ouchies will get big and hurt more again, so you need to take your medicine to make them go away." You frowned and said okay and promptly ate all the applesauce right up.

One of your friends had an ouchie about a week after yours had healed up. I explained to you that she was having pain and needed us to pray for her. Everyday you prayed for her without prompting and you bring her picture to us off the refrigerator and explain that she has an ouchie and needs us to pray. At church on Sunday the pastor started to pray and you loudly said - "We need to pray for 'your friend'." She has been on your heart ever since we told you. Now you pray each night, "thank you for making 'my friend's' pain go away."

We went hiking with our friends and we spotted a large worm. You promptly wanted closer to look at it and then grabbed a stick. I didn't stop you because I was curious what you had in mind. You poked at the worm and it went crazy squirming furiously. You jumped back and scurried away. Although it was a bit scary - you still have fun telling us about the worm and how it went squirmy when you poked it.

We love you sweet girl!! You are full of life, love, curiosity, and adventure!
Mommy and Daddy

MRSA

I have several posts brewing in my head - but thought I better go back and put up the info on MRSA that I've been promising.

Here is a PubMed article if you are interested in reading about the bacteria it's self - http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0004520/

It lives everywhere around us. Here in Hawaii, if a doctor thinks you have a staph infection it is treated as if it is MRSA because it is not worth throwing antibiotics that are unlikely to work at it. Our urgent care Dr. explained that staph has been evolving ever since modern antibiotics were created, but MRSA really scared the medical field in the mid-2000s because they were running out of synthetic options. He said about 2/3 of staph infections in Hawaii are MRSA. Now there are more synthetic options, but the bacteria is likely to adapt and resist them soon enough. Now they are even seeing resistance to the strongest drug vancimycin - VRSA. Roughly 25-33% of people have staph living on their skin, in their nose or under their finger nails. Here in Hawaii it is far more prevalent - articles I've read blame the moist, year round warmth and out door lifestyle. It can live in the ocean water, sand and other public places for months with out dying on its own. I read it can live on a blanket for 6 months - icky. Most of the time it doesn't bother us. Our immune system and the good bacteria on our skin kills it before it is a problem.

Unfortunately for us, one got past Autumn's defenses. I've racked my brain trying to find the exact cause, but the closest I will ever come is a few guesses. The night before we saw the 'pimple' the first time we had been at the beach and she had pooped in her swim suit without telling us. She had a mostly healed yeast infection and rashed up from the poop. These two things meant she had openings for the MRSA to get in. Where the MRSA came from??? The beach, our bath tub ... we will never know.
Here are the links to more details on our personal battle in chronological order:
Weird Bump
One Day
Healing
Slowly but Surely

If I had known it was MRSA when it was a pimple I likely could have treated it with prescription muriprocin cream, essential oils or manuka honey - killed it an moved on. Because we didn't know what it was we waited, watched and finally went to the Dr. 5 days later when it was too late to kill and move on.

Modern Medicine - this little bought with MRSA has made me really mistrusting of the over arching medical community. I believe it is too much about money and not about enough about the good of the people. (friends and family - please know that this is not about the service delivery and more about the bigger system) Big Pharm has way too much power over what gets into our mouth and bodies. I've scoured the internet and almost every personal story out there goes something like this - got MRSA somehow, took antibiotics, synthetic antibiotics trashed the immune system, after a full course, the antibiotics clear out of the system, MRSA comes back, back on antibiotics... over and over and over. Most of the stories tell of multi-year battles with MRSA. I won't go into the biology - but modern antibiotics do not seem to do the trick for a lot of people. More disturbing is that THERE ARE natural antibiotics available - but the doctors don't promote. There is even good research for some of them - but because the FDA has not approved their use yet - we battle in a stupid cycle with poor modern antibiotics against an ancient bacteria and let our health go to pot. I'm ready for integrated medicine - where the natural paths and physicians work together to create better health for all of us. At this point - although I acknowledge the benefits of the modern medicine - I think the natural paths are pointed in a better direction. Again - in a perfect Tara world - it would be integrated.

EVERY person I've read about has only found long term relief from external MRSA with essential oils and/or mankua honey.

Here is some of the research I've found if you are interested:
http://bio.waikato.ac.nz/honey/contents.shtml
http://www.thieves-secret.com/mrsa.htm - has a link to the research PDF
http://preventdisease.com/news/articles/essential_oils_bacteria.shtml

So - my game plan is certainly not to wait and see if MRSA shows up again. We are fighting it by doing these things:

After the infection on Autumn healed up I sanitized our entire house. Hot water, bleached and hot dried all of Autumn's clothes, all our bedding and towels. I sprayed Lysol fabric cleaner on the couch and rugs. I bleached the bathrooms. The more I read the more I believe that I don't need the toxic chemicals to protect ourselves.

I've made natural sprays for both bathrooms (1/2 vinegar 1/2 distilled water and 2-4 drops of tea tree oil, eucalyptus oil and Be Young's Defense blend) - we use it for weekly cleanings and spray in the tube after each use. A word about the tub - this is where we wash all the staph exposure from the day off. I'm sure most of our drains would test positive for it. We will now be persistent to kill anything in this bacterial hot bed. I used to let Autumn shower with me - and it is completely possible that she got the infection while sitting down in our shower at my feet. )-: Unfortunately mother/daughter showers are a thing of the past, as even if our tub is sparkling, I'm washing my ickies down to her. Even though the risks are low, we've been doing it for months - after this horrid experience I just can't.

I used roughly the same recipe to make hand sanitizer for the diaper bag and my purse. And the same recipe for a spray down after beach showers.

I got 16+ medical grade manuka honey for us to use as neosporin on our wounds and anything that looks like it could be a potential problem. If something looks suspicious I will likely alternate between putting the manuka honey and Defense blend mixed with olive oil on it. From what I've read either should do the job.

I've been rubbing one drop of the Defense blend with olive oil on Autumn's feet at night. I'm not quite ready to have her ingest them like www.staph-infection-resources.com recommends. But if we deal with another infection you can bet your boots that Autumn will be taking funny tasting applesauce everyday.

During bath time I put a couple of drops of Defense and tea tree into epsom salts and add them while the water is running.

I bought Dr. Bronners tea tree castile soap to use as shampoo and body soap. I'm in the process of switching to all homemade or all natural products in our home.

This weekend I'm going to make manuka honey antibacterial hand and body soap.

I'm also planning to get a diffuser for the oils - Aaron really hates the smell - but it kills the bacteria it in our carpets and everywhere - so we'll have to figure out a method that works for both of us.

I'm officially a happy germaphob... sigh... (-:


If a pimple that kind of looks like a spider bite shows up at your house...

(Common sense warning: This is what I plan to do - but this information is not intended as medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician with any questions you may have regarding any medical condition)

The day it shows up action is needed.

I plan to treat it with either manuka honey, manuka oil, Manuka ointment, one of the essential oils shown to kill MRSA or a blend of them.

I plan to put a few drops of the treatment on an enclosing band aid (like a circle one with the pad in the middle) and apply to the spot. Reappling a new treated band aid 4-5 times a day. Additionally, I'd use hot compresses 4-5 times to draw the infection out. If it grows at all after starting to treat it, I'd go to the doctor and have it tested to see what it is we are dealing with.

Surrender

This was the theme of the women's retreat I attended this weekend. Before the thoughts escape me, I want to recap what God laid on my heart.

Definition of Surrender:
1. To relinquish possession or control of to another because of demand or compulsion.
2. To give over or resign (oneself) to something, as to an emotion:

Surrendering ourselves to the Lord means - giving up my dreams and desires to follow His will for my life. Trusting Him that His plan for my life is better - even if it is harder. Obeying Him so that I can know his will and He can use me to His full desire.

Practically this means - making a routine of daily devotions (I'm not very good at this even though I've experienced the great benefits when I do it), developing mentoring relationships both directions, pouring the heart God gives me into people who need it.

God slowly develops surrender in us, it isn't easy and it is a daily battle. Our main lessons revolved around Esther. In the end, she followed her call in life knowing that the consequences could be death. It worked out in her favor, which is not always the case, but she had to surrender to the Lord in order to follow His will for her life - which was to save many Jewish lives.

I like to be in control, a lot. Surrendering my hopes and desires on a daily basis is very much a work in practice. I remember getting the news that they had hired under my contract and we would be moved away from Kona in January of 2009. I cried and struggled why God allowed this. I pouted in Maui (please don't hate me) because it was hard and I wanted to be near my friends. I think I pouted a lot because it wasn't my choice. Although I maintained my old friendships, I really believe I missed out on valuable ministry opportunities because I choose not to connect and put effort into the place God had put us. In the scheme of life being moved is so minor - God had gifts for us there. He had things to teach me - looking back, learning to surrender is one of them. Sometimes we learn best from failures and natural consequences.

This surrender becomes absolutely necessary at the turning points in our lives - AKA the really hard and crappy times - when we have no control. We all get different lots, our pains and sufferings are all different and unique. However, these turning points in our life test our faith - our surrendering ability. Do we trust God when the world falls apart and it is not as it should be? I feel in this sense my faith has had very little testing, my refining fire up to now has been very gentle. I don't know my lot in life, but I want to be a women like Esther who will surrender myself for God's greater purposes.

Surrendering my Children - this can't escape my thoughts and is on my mind often. Last week I was listening to Christian radio on my way home for lunch and the guy was talking about worry and our children. Just getting past our MRSA horribleness - I'm an admitted germaphob. I wonder if I'm doing everything I can to prevent pain like that again. I got chills as he spoke and knew God wanted to speak to me through him. Essentially the point was that we should put reasonable safe guards in place to protect our children, but we can't trust our safe guards - we can only trust the Lord. When we trust the safe guards we worry because they are not fool proof - things can still go wrong. When we do our very best and trust God, we do not need to be anxious. The risks are no different and God is in control either way. He tells us in many places that worry is not good - to give Him my anxieties because He is in control. He gives and he takes away - God allows these things and He is no less in control. I can't live my life scared, anxious or paranoid. God has many other thing he needs my mind and heart to be focused on and focusing on fear and worry has serious side affects. A spirit of fear is not from the Lord - Trust in the Lord. Surrendering is a big part of me giving my children (Autumn and future children) to God. (I want to acknowledge that this is my limited understanding, is certainly simplified and is what I needed to hear at this time in my walk - in no way am I trying to be trite or insensitive to others struggles)

God take me and use me for your will! I trust you and can therefore surrender everything to you.

More thank yous...

Tonight Autumn wanted to pray again - in addition to "thank you for God, Jesus, Daddy and Mommy - she was also thankful for Jackson, biting (hopefully she meant learning not to bite), Dora, Elmo, George's Kite (curious George), Daddy's kite, and praying

First Prayer

We've been trying to be real good about including night time prayers into our routine the past month or so. I wish I could say for the past 2 years... our routine used to be to nurse her to Brahms Lullaby in Hawaiian, and she was usually out before I finished. We have been trying to be real good about bath, snacks, teeth, books, prayer and then lullaby. Sometimes Autumn wants to pray and so we help her by having her repeat us. Tonight I asked if she wanted to pray and she said yes. I asked if she wanted help and she said no.

Her prayer went something like this - "Thank you for Jesus, Thank you for Jesus, Thank you for God, Thank you for Jesus, Thank you for Daddy, Thank you for Jesus, Thank you for making my owie better, Thank you for making my owie better, Thank you for making my owie better, Thank you for Jesus, Thank you for Daddy, Thank you for Mommy, Thank you for making my owie better, Thank you for Nana, Thank you for Papa, Thank you for Ella, Thank you for toys, thank you for Lily, Thank you for kitchens, Thank you for Nana, Thank you for Josh, Thank you for Josh, Thank you for Lisa, Thank you for Josh and Lisa. Thank you for Ella. Amen"

Maybe on Tuesday?

This morning I was on the potty and Autumn walked up to the door and asked, "Where is my potty mommy?" I replied, "I put it away until you are ready to start using it to go peepee and poop." She pause for a moment and said, "Maybe on Tuesday?"
Here's hoping that on some Tuesday someday soon she will start being interested in the potty for toileting again.

Slowly but surely

Wednesday Evening: Dr. Webb looked at it and decided it was looking good enough that the wick did not need to be put back in. Phew... No needles, no pokes, no cutting. Autumn was quite relieved that we quickly put her diaper right back on. Once her diaper is on she is quite alright in the Dr. office. He had gotten the lab results and confirmed what we thought, it was indeed MRSA. He explained that in Hawaii about 2/3 of staph infections are MRSA. It lives everywhere - on the risk lists you are at risk if you go to stores, schools, the beach, public places... Ummm... I know very few people who are not at risk. 1/3 of us has staph living on our skin all the time, it just doesn't usually burrow done and cause problems. So here in Hawaii it is possible that about 2/9 people has MRSA living on their skin. Yikes... I will post what I've learned about staph and MRSA in another post soon. Autumn just happened to be one of the unlucky ones to have it full on attack her. )-: Had we know what it was the first day we may have been to prevent all the pain and suffering of the past week.

Anyways, back to the Dr. visit. We found out the antibiotic that she was put on on Monday is the best one for killing the particular strain of staph she has. Praise the Lord. The Dr. instructed us to finish the sulphmethoxazole and then gave us another 5 days script for the clindamycin. We didn't need to do the shot that was for the strep again and the Dr. insured us that we would not be creating any antibiotic resistant strains of strep by not taking more, as strep lays over and dies very quickly and Autumn has other antibiotics killing bacteria. I've also read since then that the clindamycin is the best one for getting into all the cells. It is a heavy duty drug - used only for the "most serious infections" according to an article I was reading on antibiotics. He also said it wouldn't be a bad idea for Aaron and I to treat our nasal pharinx and finger nails with prescription ointment and Autumn's nails too. Although not a guarantee, but this would increase the likelihood of killing MRSA if one of us happens to be colonized.

The red spot under the original abscess was not shrinking as quickly as I liked, but the Dr. didn't think there was anything that could be removed at this time. We just needed to keep watching it. He said that unless it looked worse or something was off - temperature, temperament... we should take a day off and come back for a follow up on Friday.

Being our first time in 5 days without picking and hurting, we decide to celebrate with dinner at Krua - one of our favorite Thai placed in town. It was a nice relaxing reprieve. We also went to Walmart to get some supplies and try to get her prescription filled. We found out, per insurance requirement, we couldn't pick it up until Friday. Funny since they aren't paying for any of it.

That evening it kept looking slightly better, but then after a big poop, little red spots showed up )-: Yes, another yeast infection. I put the 1% clotrimazole on to see if I was right. Being on so many antibiotics and her not telling us when she soiled her diaper I was expecting it. It responded right away and looked better. I didn't see any on the abscess sore, so just put the ointment around it. Off to bed, we thought. It was like 10pm and Autumn was still bouncing off the walls. Her bed was still next to ours and after her night time routine, singing more she was still bouncing from her bed to ours, crawling on me, kicking our bed... after ample warning I moved her bed back into her room. After putting her in her bed twice as she was crying and crawling out, she finally settled down and we all slept.

Thursday: I have a full day of student's on Thursday's and so I was gone the full day. I tried to set Aaron and Autumn up with to do lists - when to take each antibiotic and ibuprofen, to eat pro-biotic yogurt... I'm glad Aaron appreciates the lists because I need to feel like I'm helping when I can't be home with her. I called every two hours and Aaron identified more red bumps on the abscess sore - I told him to get the fungal cream on it asap and every diaper change and it went away. Should have known, but I didn't want to put anything more than I had to on the red angry sore. We made it through the day with no temperature and just a slightly more whiney than normal Autumn. Praise the Lord! The red spot looked much the same and at one point looked like it had a golden crust on it. We hoped that was the body sucking the infection up to the surface of the skin.
This night I stayed up until 12 reading as much about MRSA and ways to control it as I could. I found some good information and look forward to sharing it. I even found a blog of a family that struggled with MRSA for over a year - in and out of the hospital and on medication almost non-stop. She has figured out how to manage their sores and outbreaks without needing medications for almost 2 years. I'm now in touch with her over email as I has some questions about her strategies.

Friday: The spot below the abscess was still not looking as good as I wanted it to. We decided to take her in for the follow up in the am in case there was something they needed to lance. Autumn fell asleep in my arms in the waiting room and woke when we got in the exam room for her temperature. It was 98.8, about a degree higher than her norm. I showed the Dr. the pictures we'd been taking of the changes and then I held Autumn while she took a look. She was please by the improvement and explained that the red spot and what we were feeling below the abscess was likely a spot where the staph had started to grow, then the body went to encase it and then attack it with white blood cells. Once the antibiotic started working, there was and is now dead tissue and other junk in there that needs to heal and may even push to the surface. She didn't think there was a very great likelihood that it would need lanced. We were grateful and hoping she was right about it all. We got home, got her med in her and I took off back to finish up my day at work.
That evening I started the prep work or

Saturday (Today): It looks better, but the progress is slow. Slightly smaller and less red. The spot below seemed softer today and less red too. We spent the entire day sanitizing the house. We washed every toy, book and doll in her room, cleaned the rugs (not the carpet yet), washed all the sheets, towels and clothes in hot bleach water, scrubbed and sanitized Autumn's bathroom and the kitchen, Aaron washed the horizontal blinds., sanitized the couches, chairs and table. I never dreamed trying to sanitize our whole hour could take so long. Tomorrow I still have plenty more, but the things I was most worried about are done. Her diaper bag, my purse, all the stuff we touch all the time - it is all bleached or wiped with 99.999% killing wipes. I'm most worried that we may have spread it somehow when treating her wound. Hopefully what we did got rid of most of the bacteria living in our house. We normally get about a B+ when it comes to house hygiene - we do a pretty good job, but after reading around how to best keep your home clear of staph, we will be stepping up our game. I plan to wipe down door nobs, computers, cupboards with trash cans and such most nights, we will do single use towel, change hand towels daily, spray our tubs with 10% bleach after every shower and clean the bathrooms 2x a week. I hope I'm wrong, but I'm concerned that Autumn may have got introduced to the bacteria in our tub. Like I said earlier, it lives everywhere, and we will never know exactly where the MRSA came from, but it is worth a try to prevent what we can. We will also try to come in and wash our hands first thing when we get home. Oh, that reminds me - I need to sanitize both our cars too. Sigh.... I know I'm being crazy, but it all seems worth the effort in case some of it helps. I even sanitized our belts. They are the only thing we touch before we wash our hands after using the toilet, but never get washed. The germaphob in me is raging right now. So that is where we are, Autumn is healing and I'm trying to figure out how best to handle future problems with MRSA and cleaning the crap out of everything around us.

Healing

Tuesday: We held our ground and it didn't look any bigger. The red spot below the original infection was still red and puffy and concerning. We went into urgent care at 1 to have them look and see if we needed to do anything else. It was a different doctor and she thought she needed to remove the wick from yesterday, saline rinse the wound out and put another wick inside. We decided putting lidocaine in would be less traumatic. Autumn's reaction this time was much stronger with kicking and screaming before anything had even happened. Sigh.. Again I held her top and Aaron helped hold her legs and the doctor was able to get the numbing stuff in. She got the job done. I tried to sing, but my tears made it hard. Once she had a diaper on and knew we were done, she able to calm down. Uhh.. but then we still needed to get the antibiotic shot in her leg. They put a needle on that was too small to let the antibotic out and so they had to stick her twice. Not quite as smooth or sure handed today, but we got the job done. They gave her a small stuffed puppy and that cheered her up. She said thank you and blew kisses when we left.

Her poops have gotten progressively softer and last night she got poops on the end of the wick. Best thing would have been to cut that part off. We tried to figure out how to get this done and she completely freaked out. Shaking and crying. Explaining to her that it would not hurt, did not help and so we gave up, pulled it out at bit and decided he couldn't hurt her any worse as she is packed full of antibiotics. Poor girl... hoping she trusts us again someday.

We went to bed encouraged that her fever had stayed low or gone all day and that it might look a little better.

Wednesday Morning:
She woke up and cuddled. I told her we needed to change her diaper and she decided she needed a shower like daddy. After daddy got out, I bleached and vinegared the tub and rinsed it really well. She took a nice long shower and was pretty upset when I took her out. First look at the infection spot and it looks better -less swollen and the red spot below is shrinking. Covered it up and headed to get food and antibiotics and pain medicine in her. The Ibuprofen was easy to get in her, but the c-biotic in the applesauce was very difficult. Finally she ate it after explaining over and over that it was to get rid of her owie. I headed to work. When I got back she ate 2 things of probiotic yogurt and then I went to change her and discovered she was supper poopy. )-: It had coated the wick - so I just pulled it out. The hole is quite big - so I'm not worried about it closing up again before we go back. The red spot is less, but localizing in one spot. Eager to hear what the Dr. thinks. We get Dr. Webb back today. Cleaned, bandaged and diapered... We will head back down after my afternoon meetings in Hookena. Until then, we keep hoping and praying that she holds ground or improves. She is happy and playing in her room.

One day...

closer to the end of this thing. We are emotionally exhausted. Poor Autumn had to endure another lancing this afternoon. The previous incision had closed up and the infection grew and spread again. Her temp has gone up and down since yesterday evening and there is now pink spots above and below the main infection. This time he made a much larger incision and another smaller one up by the original owie. He packed a wick into the cavity so it could not close up and would continue to drain. He put a shot of antibiotic that would kill strep in her thigh and gave us another prescription to add to the one from yesterday. Now we wait.... like yesterday, he said that progress would be holding it off for the next 24 hours - not to expect a true reduction.

The wound has drained a lot and maybe looks smaller and softer. The pink spot above the infection is gone, but the one below looks worrisome. As long as her temperature stays below 103 we will head down to urgent care again in the morning to have them take a look at it. The doctor said as long as she doesn't go into febrile seizures than there is no reason to take her to the ER, as they won't do anything more for her than is already done. Tomorrow the lab results will let us know for sure what we are dealing with - what type of staph, or the really rare case that it is something other than staph. On Wednesday they will have the results telling us what type of medication (if what she is taking isn't working) is going to kill the stupid stuff.

Praying that the medication she is on is effective, that her temperature stays down and that we all keep our sanity.

Tonight - I'm very thankful for modern medicine, the means to access it, and the caring knowledgeable doctors we have had.

I'm thankful for our general health, I have a new deep sympathy for parents with children with long term painful medical problems. I can not even imagine having to do this on a regular basis. My baby has experienced more pain this week - she is resilient, I know... but watching her be in physical pain is probably the very worst things I've ever had to do.

Bright moments through these days -

Last night I told Autumn that when the sun came up it would be daddy's birthday. This morning I was up making birthday goodies, when I heard her cry. Her bed is next to ours right now. I walk in our room and she was sitting up looking at Aaron and said, "Daddy, the sun came up! Daddy the sun is up!" I said - go give daddy birthday kisses - which she was happy to do!

I worked until noon this morning and met her and Aaron at urgent care. I walked through the door and was greeted by a big smile. I had picked her a plumeria and brought it to her. She happily took it and gave me a kiss. She looked down and paused for a minute and then looked up and said, "Mama, how was your day? Mama, at work, how was your day?" Made my heart melt.

While talking to Aunt Lisa - Aunt Lisa was asking her about her birthday and how old she is. She was trying to say second and then said "and no more mama's milk." This is the first time she has mentioned mama's milk since her last mama's milk the night of her birthday. It was just a matter of fact - she had her second birthday and that meant no more mama's milk. Not one second of being upset about it. Love this girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Weird bump = staph )-:

What a traumatic morning. If you have a queasy stomach, you may not want to read this... I'm not giving every detail as I don't really want to remember all of it.

Things to remember even if you don't read on - if a sore isn't getting better or you have a temperature go get medical assistance. Staph can be life threatening if not taken care of, but usually very easy to get rid of if caught soon enough. Staph is really common here in Hawaii and not uncommon else where. It lives on 1/3 of human's skin or in the nose. It presents it's self in different ways - but if left untreated can get in the blood and cause permanent damage or death.

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000863.htm

I think I last wrote when it was still just weird. Thursday afternoon we took her to a pediatrician who said he thought it was indeed staph. He gave us a prescription for antibiotic ointment, instructed us to use hot compresses to bring the infection to a head and said we needed to push the infection out. He said it was possible we'd need to bring her back in on Monday to have it drained. Friday morning pus came to the surface and we pushed it and a little came out. At lunch time more came out and then before bed it looked real nasty and we even got a bit of a hard core piece out. Poor baby, to squeeze on it meant having to holding her down. About two inches around the sore got really swollen - but it was really difficult to tell what was general swelling and if we got the infection out. Yesterday it stayed about the same all day - but her croupy cough got worse, she had a 99.1 temp and she puked on our way to the Paniolo parade. We turned around and spent the day at home. More compresses, no changes, but she start limping every now and then. After bath, I pulled her bed into our room as I wanted to monitor her through the night. It didn't look different, but a fever would mean that we had lost the battle. I had made up my mind that we would go to urgent care in the morning regardless of a fever as it looked so red and angry. I woke throughout the night and felt her head. At 3 she crawled in with me and slept on my arm. At 5 I woke up and felt her and she was burning up. At first I thought (hoped) it was because she was tucked close to me. It woke her up and she said "Autumn naked." I knew I was wrong and got the thermometer. 100.5 - not good. I got the Tylenol, gave it to her and we headed to the living room. From 5-8am we watched movies and did puzzles and her temp went down to 98.5. We got ready to go and arrived at urgent care at 9:05 and were 3rd in line )-: We finally got in at 10:30 and her temp was now 102. I thought I might have to beg for antibiotics but the doctor looked very concerned. He decided it needed drained to get the infection out. I was relieved but also realized the moment was going to be very traumatic for all of us. He needed to put local anesthetic in, get a sample and then drain it. I held Autumn's head on my arm, leaned over her, holding her down and singing "He's got the whole world in his hands" in her ear. Aaron held her legs down and it took about 7 minutes for the whole procedure. I'm not sure she could feel much, but knew what was going on and cried/screamed the whole time. Poor Autumn and the poor child in the waiting room. He got a whole bunch of pus out, cleaned her us and bandaged it. We got a prescription for sulfa antibiotics, gauze, tape and instructions to change the dressing when wet. She fell asleep on my shoulder before we even got out of the exam room and slept for 4 hours. I did get her awake enough to take children's advil and her antibiotic when we got home. Every time I checked her temp it had come down. Now she is eating and playing and just very sore. We have a check up appointment tomorrow and hopefully it is looking better and responding to the medicine. Please Lord! We are ready to be done with this.

Sigh....

Today has been one of the harder ones. Aaron and I had a rough morning. Autumn still has a weird bump in her diaper area. Then I show up to day care and they tell me that Autumn has been aggressive to the other kids - biting, scratching and even broke the skin on another child yesterday and today. WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????? This does not describe my child at all. Not to say she is not capable of such things, but what is going on? They said she was doing it to protect toys and she would walk up to them and attack them for a toy. Where did she learn this behavior? Where is the adult supervision proactively preventing it?

My gut was to just tell her that we would not be returning, but I thought I best talk to Aaron first. This adds to the list - Autumn has been there 10 days - the first week she got a huge bruise on her head from the swings, a yeast infection (not being changed often enough), and sunburned. This week she came home with 2 scratches on her diaper line that they couldn't explain and didn't notice and then today's aggression news. We are done! Inconvenient, loosing the rest of the money we paid for the month and completely relieved to be walking away. We were hesitant after the first 3 days to even pay for the next month and now I wish we had just walked away then. So hard to predict. First we need Autumn's basic needs better taken care of. Second she must need better supervision at this time to properly learn to interact with other children. Biting and scratching can not be tolerated and she needs someone right there to instruct and teach her. I don't want her to experiencing being the aggressor when it is possible no one has eyes on her - no more no more. The couple has 5 toddlers and one infant in a fairly large area - there is no way she is being watched all the time.

We will be headed to the doctor's tomorrow. The red bump in her diaper area is a bit more red and not healing. It is looking much like the staph pictures of a boil. )-: Hopefully it is the easy to kill kind. I need to quit reading about it... MRSA is nasty, nasty stuff.

I must go to bed and try to actually sleep.

Unique

Truly unique things about Autumn:

She loves cream cheese - but only on top of toast (that she does not eat) and eaten with a spoon.

She loves my arm pits - in the car she asks for them, when we cuddle she tucks her hands as deep into them as I'll let her. Yes - a bit gross, but kind of sweet too.

She loves made up songs and even made her own up the other morning. It was with Aaron, so I'm not sure what her lyrics were - but she asks me all the time to sing .... tree, monkey, Nancy (her baby) and anything else she can think of. She usually likes what I come up with even if it lacks all good song qualities!

Randomness

It's nap time and I had a minute to look through and edit some photos! Ones that got forgotten and would have likely made the cut for previous posts and updates.

Denver Butterfly Pavilion!

Rosie the Tarantula!

Hugs good bye!

Grandma's sand box

Update on life -
Well, I'm now the mother of a weened two year old! Crazy and exciting! She is my pride and joy - we have so much fun!

I'm going to start volunteering at the Pregnancy Center here in Kona on Thursday evenings. Will likely be teaching Christian classes on pregnancy and parenting! Super excited about this!

Finding a routine - before the triathlon, I just tried to get as much exercise in around work and family time as I could. Two hour bike rides in the early am, swims, runs... I'm happy to move on to a more relaxed exercise schedule - but have to get the momentum started again. Thinking 1 swim and 2 runs - one shorter and hilly and one longer each week. Aaron wants to start exercising more too! Excited to find a healthy groove for the family!

Another family member - I haven't been real secretive in telling people that we hope to add another member to our family soon. This being said, it will be interesting how well I can keep the secret once we know we are pregnant but not yet ready to tell the world! I'm not really good at secrets, but we will likely want to hear the heart beat before we tell everyone the news. I'm really excited and eager to have news to this share. We are ready - God is in control.

Scary - yesterday we went to Kua Bay for sunset. Nothing really bad happened, but close enough that we will never again have Autumn on the beach with any water coming in and out, without her in a life vest. I took that stance when we were here on vacation in March/April and kind of laxed up here as we've really only played in calm bays and keiki ponds until yesterday. We need to know that if she gets pulled out of our arms or someone turns their back, that she will be on top of the water and be easy to spot and rescue! Sigh....

Even though we had another "power of the ocean" moment - we did enjoy dinner on a beautiful beach, Autumn loved the water and rock climbing behind the beach. We then went to the county fair at old airport - got to see a Hawaiian concert, the animals, watch the lights, see some side shows and ended with a funnel cake and reggae!

Beauty of Skype

Tonight for Autumn's birthday when we got home we Skyped with all the grandparents and the cousins that live near grandparents and weren't in bed yet and had the great grandparents on the phone! So cool that we can live 3300 miles away and Autumn's family can still see her, sing happy birthday, watch her get excited about her gifts - and that she can see them too! After singing and present time, the grandparents were able to watch her play with her new toys. It isn't the same as in person, but it is a good replacement when the other isn't a possibility!

Autumn's birthday was jam packed - @ daycare she shared birthday muffins (she requested muffins), after work we skyped with family for muffin cake and presents, then we had dinner and play time with our friends that live in our building! Autumn was so very excited about all her gifts - happy family toys, clothes, poodles, cookware, puzzles and bath stickers! She had gotten so excited about a snow globe that cousin had found while she was here - so I found her one. She opened it before our dinner guests arrived and handed back to me and said, "Momma, you can have it." Well folks, you win some and you lose some. At least she isn't old enough to be mad that we didn't give her something she wanted. Over all it was a great day! Tomorrow we look forward to a little beach party with some friends and opening the rest of the gifts she received in the mail. She received a lot of facebook love, a special video from her aunt and cousin in Maryland and sweet texts and messages. She is truly one loved and blessed girl!

Last Mama's Milk

I've been telling Autumn all month that her birthday is her last time to get mama's milk and then there will not be anymore. It just feels like the right time. I think she would nurse until she was 5 if I let her. This is her official last step for her from baby into toddler-hood. Hoping for the best, tonight is it and tomorrow night might be a bit traumatic.

Addendum: Night one - told her before cuddles that mommas milk was all gone. We read Good night Hawaiian moon from the book and then cuddled to the lullaby like every night since she was born and she never once asked for momma milk. She went to bed happy and calm. It was a birthday miracle! Praise Jesus!

TWO

Baby Girl - you are two today! I'm scared that as fast as these two years went by that soon you will be 16 and we will only have two more precious years with you! This past year you have gone from a baby to a little girl. You are no longer an extension of us, but have your own ideas, wants, emotions and actions. Like daddy says - "there are 3 personalities in the room now!" A friend asked us if it is the terrible or terrific 2's. My honest answer is that it is very much both, switching from moment to moment. Emotions run high in both directions. I kind of feel like you have been two for a few months now! But today it is official!


Milestones:
Sleeping in a big girl bed with blankets, a very small pillow and a pool noodle under the sheets to keep you from falling out (Thanks Kaitlin!!)
One leg leading skipping
"What's wrong with the internet?" the complexity of your questions grows everyday
Answering some why and what happened questions
Sometimes spontaneously saying 'thank you' for appropriate and funny things
Pretending to go places (like the store) with your babies
Playing hide and seek (you can hide, count to 10 and say "ready or not here I come" and sustain looking for us with assistance)
Identify a triangle, circle and oval
Sometimes you know red, pink, yellow and blue
You imitate lines, squiggles, and circles and say now I draw a chicken then scribble. The other day you drew an oval and said "it's an oval."
You will 'read' books to us that you are familiar with.
Just this week your interest in jigsaw puzzles developed and you can put together pieces if I set them up one at a time or it is the only piece left.
You put clothes on that I lay out for you, they just might be backwards or inside out though.
You put on your own Velcro shoes - just not always on the right feet.

For the past several months your biggest change is your ability to communicate. We are so amazed by what you can tell us. Everyone comments on your cute little voice. In the car you were upset about your stickers and I said to and hand them to me and you responded - "Mama I can't, dropped them." You talked non stop on the phone with your great grandparents today. Telling them the pool was closed (our community one was) and that daddy went to the big pool. You talked about the birds and the trees. Later I asked you what tomorrow was and you said "my birthday." I asked how old you would be and you said "2!" You have the vocabulary to describe almost everything you see or events around you. You learned the words other and somebody this month. "Mama, that is somebody's car." or better yet at the grocery story pointing "That is somebody." You will ask, "can I have the other or different one?" You know what under, on top of, next to, and turn it mean. You want to know where everyone is. The day after Uncle Jeremy left, your new day care antie was able to understand "Uncle Jeremy back in Colorado." Tonight we took separate cars to the pool and you asked, "where'd daddy go?" I told you, you asked again, so I asked you where he went and you replied "Daddy in silver car going home." You enjoy singing and know most of "Twinkle, twinkle." You will start a song or say part of it requesting that I sing it. Yankee, Twinkle, baa baa, Jesus, monkey. You also enjoy giving me a topic and having me make up songs. "Mama sing _____" We sing some pretty funny things. When it is raining, you sing "it's pouring and snoring."

Things you love -
Nancy - your plastic baby that we finally named. She goes everywhere with you - bath, bed and the beach if you insist. You dress her, change her diapers, feed her, put her in time out and love on her.
Popsicles - the homemade fruit kind
Monkeys and Curious George
Puzzles
Reading
Playing with friends
Swimming (you can kick, paddle and sometimes come up on your own to get a breath)
Cuddling
Being carried when were out and about - especially shoulder rides


Things you dislike -
Using the potty
Being told no or that we don't have something you want
Occasionally you just don't want a diaper on - this is problematic considering that you also don't want to use the potty.
Other people talking to me - you will start shouting "Autumn talk to her Mama!"
The sun in your eyes
Sand in your shoes
Bug bites

Potty training: I thought you were making progress in being ready. In Colorado before we left you had 4 successes in one day. Right now you don't want to sit on the potty, but you want to wear big girl underware. We've tried a few times and now have decided to put the underware away for awhile until you are willing to try to sit and go on the potty regularly. You love your Elmo potty book and we read it almost every day at your request, but you just are not yet ready to be fully trained and we don't want it to be stressful or a fight.

What you go to time out for: Screaming and disobedience
You put your babies in time out and say "listen, listen." We usually explain what you have done wrong, have you say sorry and then repeat what you are or are not supposed to do. You definitely get it and sometimes even put your self in time out.

Where you have been in these first 2 years - Loveland - Roosevelt, UT - Glenwood Springs - Denver - Portland, OR - Billings, MT - Pullman, WA - Washington DC area - Grand Junction - Zion National Park - Las Vegas - Death Valley - Mammoth Springs - Yosemite National Park - Lake Tahoe - Lasson National Park - Red Wood National Park - Salem, OR - Olympia, WA - Mt. Rainer National Park - Pullman, WA - Helena, MT - Yellowstone National Park - Kona, HI - Maui - Pullman, WA - Olympia, WA - Seattle, WA - Maui - Kona, HI - Phi Phi Islands, Thailand - Krabi, Thailand - Yangon, Myanmar - Bagan, Manmar - Bangkok, Thailand - Waikiki, HI - Molokai - Maui - Pullman, WA - Boise, ID - Glenwood Springs - Loveland/Fort Collins - Washington DC area - Colorado - Kona, HI



Although the emotional 2's are in full force, the joy you bring to our family is beyond our wildest dreams. You are spunky and bright. The world is full of wonders that you want to explore with your eyes, hands and ears. This last week you have been asking where the moon is and talk about up in the sky. You will spontaneously tell us you love us, cuddle and snuggle with us and give us big kisses!

Thank you for who you are Autumn! We are so proud of you and look forward to exploring the world with you and watching you grow up in it!!

We love you,
Momma and Daddy

THE RACE!

I know it is blurry - but it the only picture we have of all 3 of us!

Life is seriously moving along too quickly. All of a sudden it was the night before the race. We had a great week with Aaron’s brother and our niece in town, but it has been seriously busy. I had been planning to sneak in my 20 minutes of each run, bike and swim during the week – but there really was no good time. I got 6 days of ‘rest’. I think the more difficult thing was that my focus was so far away from the race. I wouldn’t go back and change it, but we just might say it wasn’t ideal for being mentally prepared for the race. We had a wonderful time playing, celebrating Camry’s birthday, seeing the stars at Mauna Kea and even did a complete circle around the island Friday and Saturday. I took off from Volcano on Saturday after lunch and gave myself 2 hours to get to Kona for the mandatory race meeting. I thought that was plenty of time, but should have left 20 minutes sooner. It turned out to be fine and I only missed a few minutes of the meeting. I got my race packet, got my arms stamped with my number and headed back home where everyone was. We headed out to one last dinner before taking Jeremy and Camry to the airport. It was beautiful sitting on the deck of the Royal Kona Resort overlooking Kailua Bay. We headed to the airport a bit late, got them on their way and headed back home. Autumn fell asleep at 7:15 in the car and transferred into her bed and she slept the rest of the night. I packed my bike up in my car and headed to Angie’s to leave the bike there to load in the truck and eat some quinoa pasta. We talked about random race things, the craziness of the week and our excitement for the morning. I left at about 8:30 to get all my other race things together. I’m glad I looked up a tri packing list on line, as my brain was not up to the task of figuring it all out. Swimsuit, goggles, cap, sunscreen, bike helmet, gloves, shorts, shirt with number pinned on and a snot rag, socks, shoes, towel, running shoes and hat, wash cloth to carry and another sunscreen (there were 2 transition spots).

My biggest mistake – not thinking about what I was eating the 2-3 days before the race and especially Saturday. We had pretty much been on the go since Thursday and so we had eaten out many of the meals. Sushi, Thai, eggs, burger, quesadilla’s… My digestive system really needs fiber and eating out doesn’t usually provide this without a lot of conscious focus on ordering the right thing. I knew my system was backed up a little bit – but it hit me Saturday night that I was going to have to proactively get things moving to be comfortable for the race. Ughh.. Saturday night before bed I had a cup of decaf coffee and ate applesauce with flax meal and bran. Expected some results and didn’t get them. Woke up with a stomach ache, had weird dreams and finally crawled out of bed at 4am. Decided prunes and regular coffee was my best bet to be able to race on an emptied system. I was right. Once I knew it was working I also had a small shake with berries. I was a bit worried that I’d crash from the coffee since I don’t usually drink it – but it ended up being okay.

I got my stuff together, put on my suit and warm clothes, then hopped in the truck with Angie and Isaiah. 5 ½ hours of sleep and coffee and prunes for breakfast– thought this could be pretty interesting! We parked and got our bikes set up. We drove over to the Keauhou Beach Resort where T2 and the finish line were to set up our running gear. We caught the shuttle back over to the bay and I made a pit stop. At this point I was getting a little nervous I’d over done my ‘medicine.’ The sun was coming up and we hung around prepping our bike stuff a bit more, putting on sunscreen and talking over our nerves. We went to the water and warmed up a little bit before the start. They were starting us in waves.

Us women got pink caps and put at the end of the wave line. Kind of weird since many women swim faster than the guys. Oh well. After the first two waves of racers took off, we swam out to the start to tread until the start. It was a nice warm up. I think about a 1/4 mile just to get to the start. No turning back, here we go! A high five with Angie and "BANG!" Race gun went off and so did we!

Swimming in the ocean with a bunch of other people is interesting. My goal when I started training in May was to swim as much of it as I can in free style. I think I transitioned to breast stoke about 5 x, mostly to look ahead and only once to rest. I felt like I did a pretty good job of staying with the pack, but I definitely slowed up when little bubbles got too close to my face! The water was stunningly beautiful and got really cold the last 1/3 of a mile as we must have been over some freshwater outlets. I got to the finish and ran up the coral in path in 34 minutes and 49 seconds. I put a watch on my wrist and started at the gun so I'd know where I was at for total race time. I was happy, as I wanted to swim it in under 35 minutes.

Transition 1 was the most challenging transition - your wet and have so much bike gear to get on. After pulling my shirt on, my shorts on and having also put on gloves, hydration backpack, helmet, sock, shoes and sunglasses - I was a bit envious of those who had a tri-suit on and just threw on their shoes, sunglasses and helmet and took off. I also was rightfully worried about 1.5 hours in the sun after swimming. I quickly put on another layer of sunscreen on my arms. After I was on the bike I remembered that I didn't lube my legs - too late now! Up the big hill I went.

The race starts off at the bottom of Kamehameha III Road and climbs up to 650 feet in about 2 miles with 4-6% grades. This was the 4th time I had rode the hill in the last month and if felt about the same as without the swim, just long and slow. They stopped all traffic for us - it was awesome! No stopping, slowing or thinking about cars! They even closed the steepest part of coming down the hill into town - so we had the whole road to ourselves! I honestly don't remember much passing or getting passed - I think maybe 6-10 people went by me and I passed a few. I tried to push my speed, but honestly zoned out a bit. I wish I had focused on using my up swing a bit better - oh well - I did just keep going!!! Getting to OTEC felt pretty good - the first 13 miles. It felt a bit up hill and so I thought getting back into town would be easier - wrong! The wind was straight in our face and I struggled to go 14 mph. At about this time my back got tired and my bum was starting to get really numb. I looked forward to getting on Alii and feeling close to the next transition. We rode down the big hill on Kaiwi and didn't have to stop at the signs - so much fun! Once on Alii I tried to crank but hung out around 17-18 mph. I was happy with that and felt pretty good when I got to the transition. I hoped off, ran to my stuff, racked my bike, took off the backpack, switched shoes and put on another layer of sunscreen. I got to the start of the run and the lady sent me back for my race number I forgot to put on my front - opps. Okay - now I was on my way. Switching from biking to running is so hard for my legs. It is like they don't work right. I think running backwards might be easier and possibly faster! Other than the lead legs I felt okay. Right after you start the run - they run you up a wicked 150 foot incline in less than 1/3 of a mile. Most people were walking up it and I had decided I wasn't allowed to walk any of the run. I didn't go much faster and my calves were on fire. The next 6 miles were certainly going to be interesting! Once at the top of the hill I tried to stretch my stride out, but really my legs decided the speed they could go and I followed their lead. Mile 1 passed and then it felt forever to get to mile 2 - even though it included the down hill. Surely my watch was lying! At that point I decided that not walking and finishing was sufficient for success - 11-12 minute miles were going to have to be okay. After the downhill they ran us out on a lava trail run for a mile or so. I felt lucky to have not rolled my ankle - I didn't really train for that terrain and it is a bit different than the road! From the lava until we got back to the bay we ran on either grass or the golf cart path along the ocean. The scenery was stunning! I had to keep reminding my self to look around and enjoy it! After we ran through the Sheridan, we ran towards the bay and then just for fun they ran us up a little path straight up hill and back down. It was pretty, but I could have gone for a loop around the flat parking lot instead. Next we went across the little bridge, through the sand volleyball court, next to where we exited the swim and up Kam III. WHAT - I have to run up Kam III - it was only a couple of minutes, but ughhhh... at mile 4, this about did me in! One last golf course crossing and the finishing line couldn't be too much further. I smiled and gave shakas to the cameraman and got really excited to hear the people at the corner of the golf course and Alii say a 1/4 mile!

I could tell there was someone close behind me and decided I didn't want to be passed. I think was likely the fasted section of the race for me - I even passed a guy once I was on the hotel grounds. I'm glad I didn't fade and was able to keep the faster pace all the way to the finish line!! My watch said 3:19 and my official time was 3:20:09! The gal behind me was 6 seconds later and actually in my age group - now I'm doubly glad I didn't let her pass me! (-: Aaron, Autumn, Tosh, Angie and Isaiah were there to greet me at the finish! Done! I made it!

I knew stopping wasn't a good idea. My body wanted to collapse and my brain wanted to keep moving. After a few minutes of hugs and stretching we gathered our stuff to take to the truck and get a shower. Luckily it was a long walk and then we showered at Kahaluu. My body appreciated the walk and although tired - it didn't hurt too bad. I really wanted a massage and I really wanted food - food won! We laid out the grass mats, piled our plates with food (only the racers got food included) and shared! We watched the top finishers awards! Angie got 4th in her division (which ended up being same as mine, we later found out) and got a lei and bracelet on the podium!! So so cool! So proud of you Ang!!!

My thoughts! Why an Olympic triathlon? I'm not real sure to be honest. We life gaurded the race Ang did in 2008 and there I said I'd like to do one someday. Angie and I have talked about e-training together for one over the past several years and it didn't happen. We were going to shoot for the April 3rd Waikoloa Lavaman - but Aaron's wisdom that training while working full time in the winter was unlikely to be successful was heeded. Angie called me in mid-May and said lets do the Keauhou Lavaman - and I signed up and paid that day. We were a go! It was perfect timing - I'd have time to train when I wasn't working too much over the summer in Colorado and we'd be close enough to do the event in August. (at the time I signed up we thought we'd be moving to Maui, not Kona) I was also excited because it would be before I turned 30 or wanted to start trying for another baby.

Total Mileage since May 2011

Total miles biked : 267

Total miles run: 86.4

Total miles swam: 10.3

I knew an olympic triathlon is quite a race - not something I'd be able to do without proper training. It is hard enough to be a challenge, but not outside of the realm of possibility. When people ask me how it was I respond by saying that if it had finished after the bike I would have touted about how easy it was. After the run, I find the race nothing other than difficult and character building. It certainly gets to go on my list of 'most challenging physical things I've ever done.' I don't see my self getting too much more into the triathlon scene any time soon - as it is a time sink - but it is a really nice balance with the 3 sports. I felt like my body was both more worked and more rested while training than when I have done only running. Who knows what the distant future holds??? You can't help but wonder in your mind if your body could be capable of doing a 1/2 ironman or even a full one! (-: