Playing with 5

Okay - so I have found a new love - coaching! One of my friends here on the Big Island landed the head basketball coaching job at the high school she teaches at. She has welcomed me in to help out with the varsity girls. I get to come help at practice and this weekend we had our first games.

Kealakehe High School is a huge school - well over 1000 students. But for some reason basketball is not a game that has drawn a big crowd. There are no feeder programs - no little league, no middle school program, no AAU. We had 10 girls come out for varsity - and now because of grades, injuries and club sports we are down to 7. Early this week one of our 7 girls injured her hand and the doctor said she could not play this weekend. So yes, down to 6. Oh, wait there is more - one girl had a funeral on the other side of the island and missed Friday and Saturday's games. Our girls played with 5 - no subs, no breaks, and hoping for few fouls. There have been many funny jokes - like "Coach - who is starting?"

So - how did we do? These girls win the title of "Fab 5!" They played their hearts out! Friday night they won by 34 points to a smaller school on the island. They dominated the court, put their shots in and stayed out of foul trouble. It was a beautiful display of team effort - even when they were completely exhausted.

Tonight, they came out for their third game in three days with their 'A' game on. Tonight we played a tougher team who had a full bench of eager players. We led most of the game, sometimes by as many as 10 points. They ran their offense well and played tough defense. Two of the girls went for a combined 13 for 14 in their free throws. Here is where the story get interesting. I'm not sure how many varsity games have ever been played with no players on the bench, but this one has to go down in the record books.

Here is my gross approximation of what happened -
With two minutes left to go in the game we were up by 1 point. One of our girls made a silly frustration foul - sending them to the line for 1-1 and giving her a 4th foul. They pulled a head making both free throws. We went down the court and got fouled inside the paint. We made our free throws and then on the other end our first player fouled out. Down to 4 players they continued to keep neck in neck. On the next possession our second player picked up her 5th. So yes, we had 3 girls on the court. We practice 3 on 2, but never would you dream of having to play 3 on 5. First round of defense, they missed a shot and our girl got the ball and drew a foul. She went to the line 1-1, high pressure free throws - make one to tie, both to pull into the lead again. Swish, Swish 51-50 - we lead again with 15 seconds left. Their star player who scored more than 1/2 their points took the ball and it looked like she we going to try to go coast to coast. Our guard stopped her up and caused a jump ball by scrambling to the floor for the tie up. Unfortunately the arrow was pointed their way. During the time out, coach told them to allow the 3, just don't let them have an easy lay up. Again their star took the ball and began driving for the basket. With 2 seconds all 3 of our girls were surrounding her just below the free throw lane - she heaved up an ugly shot that had too much hope in it. With 2 seconds - swish - game over. In the books we lost, but the way these girls played as the complete underdogs - they get a win from me. Hearts left on the court, no shame, nothing but pride! Go Lady WaveRiders!!!

Funny Fun in Loveland!

Oh how I have enjoyed my 4 days in Loveland with my family. The biggest hugs from my sister in laws and tears from my mother in law as we surprised them with me getting to come home for Thanksgiving! Nice to get to spend some time in the mountains hiking and climbing. We got to see many friends and quickly catch up face to face. It has been so fun, so refreshing and wonderful!

My nieces are getting so big and talking so much! They are 4 and say some of the most hilarious things! Here are a few of them for you to enjoy.

Addy: "Tara, you and Aaron should get married." Which she then told us we needed to dance because you know that is how you are married - Got to love Disney! (-: After several more comments on us getting married, I decided to print a picture of us dancing at our wedding, which might have helped some - but then on Sunday night she told me, "Don't tell Aaron you want to marry him until he marries you, then you can tell him!"

Addy was doing my hair, which I'm pretty sure could last all day if I would last that long. When she finished a 'do' she asked everyone individually in the room "Does Tara look like a boy or a girl to you?"

This may not be PC - but rather funny! Camry and I were playing catch with a little dolly (her idea!) and I got distracted talking to someone and she yelled from across the room, "Just throw the darn baby!"

Thankfulness for Divine Goodness

Happy Thanksgiving a day early!

On another blog I follow, someone wrote the definition of Thanksgiving. The most profound definition was "thankfulness for divine goodness."

Divine goodness - although I don't believe that everything here on earth is "good." I do believe that God works everything for good for those that are called his children.

Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

I think that this is how we can give thanks for and in all things, even here on earth. It is because God uses bad things to create goodness - divine goodness for his children. He is able to take pain, suffering and extreme hardship and somehow work them for good. I have no idea how this works, but I have confidence that His Word is true and that I can take joy in knowing He will do what He says He will.

I pray that each one of you - my friends - are able to celebrate Divine Godness tomorrow and everyday of your life.

All my love, Tara

A week of Thanksgiving

One of the blogs I read posted this exercise - I think I'm going to try it and wanted to share it.

http://www.reviveourhearts.com/pdf/uploads/AWeekofThanksgiving.pdf

Here is the introduction to give you a taste:
God’s Word teaches that thankfulness ought to be a way of life. But in the reality of our daily lives, it is so easy for discontentment, murmuring, complaining, criticizing, or even bitterness to displace the “attitude of gratitude.” Cultivating a thankful heart will result in speaking thankful words. But we all need periodic reminders to be thankful, and, for most of us, developing the habit of thankfulness may require some practice! Here are some practical suggestions for devoting one week to practicing thankfulness. You may even want to include the whole family in this project.

Here today, gone to Maui

About 8 weeks ago my job had an unexpected turn of events. A co-worker of mine got word that the district had hired a permanent OT to fill the position I'm currently covering. This new person was not arriving until January, but I was supposed to be here until June 2009. So I knew things were going to change, and I would not be in control of the change. I quickly called my contract company to see what they normally do in this situation. I had 2 choices - typically they just let the person stay at their job and job share. However in my case this doesn't make sense - I hardly have enough work to keep myself busy, there is no way we both wouldn't be bored to tears if I stayed. I asked what my other option was, and she said that she could see if there was anywhere the DOE would want to move me. Aaron and I talked and prayed about it for a couple of days and decided that if they offered us somewhere we would want to check out, that we were up for the move. Rather quickly we found out that the likely options were going to be Kihei, Maui or Kailua, Oahu - and so we said we were up for the move.

I know you are thinking, is there anywhere in Hawaii that you would turn down - and the answer is a slightly snobby - yes, there are a couple places. I won't list them in fear of offending someone, but there are a few communities that I'm not sure I would feel safe in the schools.
So we got the ball moving, we thought. And then we waited, and waited. The weeks went by and I tried not to be the annoying employee calling for updates. I did well, I only called twice in 8 weeks to see if anything was new.

Last Thursday I got the call - we have news - the Maui job is yours! This is what we were hoping for honestly. We love Maui - it is beautiful, lots of sand beaches, still has a big mountain where we can get our Colorado fix at 4000-8000 feet and there are many fewer people than on Oahu.

In all the moving that we have done this past year and a half - the hardest thing is always moving away from friendships. I feel like I just started to get deeper in several of my friendships and now we are leaving. I know that these gals will be my friends for life, but friendships have to change when you don't live near each other. The element of presence certainly changes things and it is certainly more difficult to stay in as good of touch from a distance. I guess I have to know that I was here for a reason - to love, be loved, to grow, to share, to bless and to be blessed. And although the friendships will change, those reasons will not change from afar.

We will miss Hawaii, we will miss our Big Island friends - but we can't help to be excited for what God has planned for us during our short stay on Maui.

Lesson from Hebrews

Tonight we had bible study and I was struck by the message of the first two lessons.

#1 Don't ignore salvation.
Hebrews 1:3 So what makes us think we can escape if we ignore this great salvation that was first announced by the Lord Jesus himself and then delivered to us by those who heard him speak? 4 And God confirmed the message by giving signs and wonders and various miracles and gifts of the Holy Spirit whenever he chose.

#2 Don't stop believing.
Hebrews 4:12 Be careful then, dear brothers and sisters.^[f] Make sure that your own hearts are not evil and unbelieving, turning you away from the living God. 13 You must warn each other every day, while it is still “today,” so that none of you will be deceived by sin and hardened against God. 14 For if we are faithful to the end, trusting God just as firmly as when we first believed, we will share in all that belongs to Christ.

Our Bible Study leader summed these 2 lessons up as "Trust and Obey" in that order. You must know that you can trust and once you know that, it is possible to obey and be faithful to the end.

Another enlightenment was regarding God's rest. Hebrews is written to believers and so the following passage is not saying that believers have rest while non-believers do not. It is saying that some believers have rest, while other believers do not.

Hebrews 4: 1 God’s promise of entering his rest still stands, so we ought to tremble with fear that some of you might fail to experience it. 2 For this good news—that God has prepared this rest—has been announced to us just as it was to them. But it did them no good because they didn’t share the faith of those who listened to God.^[a] 3 For only we who believe can enter his rest.

What is the difference between rest and no rest - belief - belief in every little decision, belief and trust and faith in God's control and love for us. When we quit trying to take care of things for ourselves, quit worrying, quit forcing God to the side - we get to live a life full of His rest. This is so cool, because as we rest in Him - He can more fully use us to bring Him glory and bring life to this Earth.

God be with us as we run the good race! May we find ourselves wrapped in grace, love, peace and trust - able to do the good work that God has designed us to do!

Another Baby Dies

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

My co-worker just came to me and said she just found out about a family friend's baby who died at 5 months old this week. He was placed on an adult bed and rolled into the comforter and suffocated.

I feel so helpless - this was so preventable - the information is out there - they just didn't have it and now they must suffer. Suffer the worst loss imaginable becasue they didn't 'know.' I sit here doing evaluation paperwork and getting other things in order for my job - when I could be out the spreading the message - a message that would save families from carrying the worst burden ever. I hate it, I just hate it! Lord help me until I can spend my time doing what I know I'm supposed to be doing.

My co-worker who shared this sad news said to me - my sister is having a baby any day - do you have any information for her. "Yes" I do - I have information that I wish every family in the world had. I just can't spread it fast enough.

Pray for these families that have lost, lost so much. Lost life as they know it - are left in a pit of darkness dreaming of what could have been. Pray that they find God's love and peace - they need it more than anyone.

27

Oh the love I have felt these last 27 years! Here are my thank yous for the last 27 years - I love you all so much.

Mom and Dad - thank you for your love for me that began before I was even born and now continues to grow into a more beautiful love each passing year. Your unselfish care for me, your love of Christ that you passed on to me, your loving discipline, your provisions that exceed my every expectation - I thank you from the depths of my soul.

Aaron - thank you for your love - love that binds our hearts together. A love that God holds together and cannot be broken. 5 and half years ago you presented me with a ring and asked me if I would let you love me like Christ loved the Church. You have not disappointed - you hold me accountable, you give me gentle encouragement, you hold me with tenderness... Thank you for being my husband.

Chad - You show me brotherly love and care that blows my mind. Thank you for putting up with me in our formative years so that we could be great friends as adults.

Grandpa Alfred and Grandma Nona - Thank you for your legacy - thank you for loving the Lord. You have blessed my life and bring me love that is felt to the bone.

Grandpa and Grandma Cross - you won't get to read this because you beat us to heaven. But I want to express my thanks and gratitude for showing me how to have a strong loving marriage that is based on God's love and showing me how to put God first, others second and yourself last.

Mary and Jerry - I praise the Lord regularly for giving me such wonderful in-laws. Thank you for raising your son to be a man of God - he is my greatest gift. Thank you for loving me always.

Connie - thank you for your sweet heart, kindness and love. We met at such a fun time in life - figuring out who we were. We got to make mistakes, grow in truth and love each other through it. You are my sister in Christ - a sweet gift as we travel this life.

Amanda - My dear cheek to cheek friend. Thank you for the laughter, love, and joy through the years. Through the good, the bad, and the ugly - you are always there for me. Thank you for your friendship!

Josh, Lisa, Ashton and Addyson - thank you for bringing so much happiness to my life. Lisa - thank you for your friendship - I love that we can chat about anything. Josh - thank you for serving our country and being a rock in our family. Ashton and Addyson - I love every minute I get to play with you - I miss you so much and can't wait to be in Loveland to watch you grow up.

Jeremy, Kelly, Caleb, Hannah and Camry - thank you for the love and joy to bring to my life. Kelly - thank you for being tender and kind - I appreciate it so much. Jeremy - thank you for your care and love. Caleb, Hannah and Camry - I love you so much and praise God I get to be your aunt! Thank you for bringing joy to my life.

Christie - my dear friend and sister in-law, thank you for your love and sweetness to me. Thank you for taking care of my brother and making him a better man. Miss you.

Kaitlin - I wish I had the words to express how thankful I am to be called your friend. You are an amazing woman, I have learned so much from you and am blessed to walk beside you in this life.

Callie - my mentor and friend. Thank you for your love, guidance, words of wisdom and faith. You are a gift from God.

Elyssa - your friendship is so special to me - thank your for sharing this road with me! Separated by only hours and a few hundred miles at birth - our friendship was meant to be. God bless 27!

Stephen - my childhood buddy - thank you for the fun times - we have so many! I'm so blessed that our friendship grew even after we weren't children anymore. Thank you for your faith, adventurous spirit and love!

Julie Butler - your heart is so beautiful, you glow Jesus! Thank you for sharing your love and friendship with me. We may never get to camp illegally in NZ again or share a room in a cold flat - but I look forward to more fun memories!

Todd, Wes and Jeff - thank you for your brotherly love and support for my husband. Thank you for welcoming me into the adventures with open arms.

Angie - thank you for showing me ruthless trust. You are a beautiful woman, amazing mother and sweet friend.

All my other amazing family and friends - I could be here all day - you have all blessed my life with love, kindness, fun and joy! Thank you from the bottom of my heart! I see God's goodness in the gift he's given me in you!

I've been tagged

My friend Ashley tagged me! Here's the rules and here's my response:


1. This is random, but on my mind tonight as I clean - "I hate mold!" I've been fighting it everyday here in Hawaii - it is in my closets, it is in my car, it is under the drawers in my dresser, it makes my comforter stink... it is everywhere. I fight it and it sneaks right back. I love the tropical weather, but with it comes mold and bugs. I will not miss the mold (or the bugs) when we move back to Colorado.

2. I was telling this to Aaron the other day and he said I should use it the next time I play 2 truths and a lie. But I think this is as good of a place as any. It is one of my most embarrassing moments. In Occupational Therapy school I taught 2 semesters of medical terminology. Now, if you've taken this class you know that some of the stuff is embarrassing to read about, let alone give a lecture about it to 120 students (most of which are my age or older). I was giving the lecture on the good old digestive system and out of my mouth came. "And last, but not least is your anus - it is a sphincter muscle that keeps things from coming in." Laughter from all. And then I corrected - "oh I mean keeps things from coming out, or I guess it is good for both." I'm sure I was as red as red could be.

3. I have a fear of settling down in one place. I love moving, it is so fun to be all over the place. I've always had an end date. Undergrad ended 5/2004, Grad School ended 12/06, first contract ended 10/07... you get the point. I love having an end date, and a date to start something new. The idea of being in one place and not knowing when it 'ends' is a bit scary.

4. I'm a total adrenaline junkie - I have slowed down in may later 20's and take fewer risks than I used to (which honestly is probably a good thing - my parents praise the Lord that I got married because they think Aaron helps me make better decisions - and they are probably right) I love the feeling of falling. I bungy jumped 333 feet in Zambia, skydived 12,000 ft in New Zealand, have jumped off many, many cliffs into water, love rock climbing, surfing and skiing. Please don't send this to my life insurance company (-:

5. I've had malaria. Opps ... I was on anti - malaria pills, but the dang paracite didn't seem to care. After 5 days of pounding headaches, sleeping 14 hours a day and not being able to help in the House of Moses nursery I finally went and got tested. Three days and some TLC from a missionary family and I was back to new.

6. I'm so thankful and blessed to have both sets of my grandparents be servents of the Lord who raised my parents to love the Lord.

7. I'm the most blessed girl in the planet - my husband is a servant leader that loves God first and then me, my family is the greatest (this of course includes my in-laws who are the greatest in-laws ever) and I could not have asked God for better friends. He always provides brothers and sisters to love and be loved on - all over the world. Thank you God!!!

I'm breaking the rules with Ashley - only 4 tags!
I'm tagging Connie, Kendra, Elyssa, and Jenn

Another tow truck?? Grrr...

Okay - I admit it, we've struck out in the car department here in Hawaii. Our Bronco - while fun while we had it, cost a lot and only last us 4 months. It died a transmission death up on Mauna Kea at 9000 ft. Luckily 2 weeks before we lost the Bronco, we had bought a Nissan Maxima as the Bronco was costing over $100 to fill up every week and we decide a second car might actually be cheaper and it was certianly more convienient. So after 3 tows to get it to our house to sit for 4 months until we could sell it for almost nothing, at least we had another car left. Unfortunately, it took us a few months to find out that we had bought another lemon. Ughhh. Random things don't work, the A/C is a joke, the wheel bearings are starting to make noise, we paid a lot more than we thought we'd have to to have the front suspention repaired... And then tonight - it won't start, the stupid thing won't start. It was a blessing that it wouldn't start in Kona, instead of in Hawi 80 miles away where we were this afternoon. I'm sure our car insurance is hating us, 3 tows later in 9 months. At first we thought it was just the battery, but after walking a mile to Walmart and then getting a ride from friends - the new battery didn't make a lick of difference. So tow truck o tow truck come and get us. It was an interesting ride - as every tow truck expereince has been here in Hawaii. A scraggly dude, speaking pidgin, who barely knows what the levers on his truck are for comes to the rescue and then smokes in the cab on our way to the car shop. Too much fun!!!
Although car problems in themselves are not a blessing or goodness! Here are some good things!
1. We had friends that met us at Walmart so we didn't have to carry the 40 pound battery a mile back to the car.
2. We had fun chatting with our friends while we tried to fix the car.
3. The tow truck didn't kill us or put too many dents in our car.
4. Walking home at night in Hawaii is much warmer than in Colorado in late October.
5. The car didn't break down the other 5 times we stopped today many many miles from home.
6. We are healthy with good legs to walk or ride our bike to work tomorrow.
7. Work is close and it won't take too much time to walk or ride.

Learning to be a Friend, Loving being a Friend

"Friends always show their love. What are brothers for if not to share troubles?"- Proverbs 17:17

I must say that the last month has been one of my most difficult. Maybe that is because it is so fresh in my mind, or maybe it is because it really has been the most difficult. My heart aches daily and tears are about 5 seconds from my eyes at any moment. I try not to be the kill joy at work, at friends gatherings - but I have a hard time relaxing or letting myself back to my carefree life of the last year. I feel this way, not because I've lost or been hurt myself, but because close friends of mine are traveling a road nobody would ever wish on their worst enemy.

What does it mean to "share troubles"? I know I haven't quite figured it out yet, I know that I've made mistakes in the process - but most of all I know that I must "share troubles." I have no choice, these are my dear friends, I must love and share. I have to admit that I don't fully understand how prayer works - but I feel stuck in that prayer is the only avenue of "sharing the troubles" most of the time. I wish to do more, but know that more may not be what is needed. May God guide me, as I need serious guidance in figuring out how to be a friend during these times.

God is good. I say this because I know that He is the one who is sustaining my friends, He is the one that gives them hope, joy, and peace during these trials. He is the ultimate friend - the ultimate giver - the ultimate savior. May I just be who he wants me to be in this time. May I have ears to hear His voice as he gives me my little jobs in "sharing troubles."

I'm being blessed by those experiencing the trials!? Why is it that I feel like I'm the one benefiting from the friendship in times like these? I have learned so much from my friends and been blessed by their grace and love toward me during their trials. These more difficult life trials have been given to them before I've had my turn. They have shown me how to trust God through the good, the bad, and the very ugly. They are living proof that God can somehow redeem the evil in this world and truly has a beautiful plan for those who love Him. My good friend here in Hawaii who found out today that she has malignant cancer said, "I'll call you tomorrow and see how you are doing." How I'm doing? The love we get to receive and give as sisters in Christ is beyond words. Just beyond words. Praise God that we get to share our troubles and share in our friend's troubles.

"Friendship multiplies the good of life and divides the evil." -- Baltasar Gracian (1647).

Ruthless Trust

I had a nice long chat with my dear friend and bible study leader in Loveland. After our discussion she sent this exerpt from Ruthless Trust - B Manning
It speaks volumes to me right now and I wanted to share it.

Fourteenth-century theologian and mystic John Tauler prayed for eight years that God would send him a person who would teach him the true way of perfection. One day, while at prayer, he heard a voice from within telling him to go outside to the steps of the church, and there he would meet his mentor. He obeyed without hesitation. On the church steps Tauler found a barefoot ragamuffin in rags, wounded and caked with blood. Tauler greeted the man cordially: "Good morning, dear brother. May God give you a good day and grant you a happy life. "Sir" replied the ragamuffin, " I do not remember ever having a bad day."Stunned, Tauler asked him how that was possible, since sadness and grief are part of the human condition.The beggar explained, "You wished me a good day, and I replied that I cannot recall ever having spent a bad day. You see, whether my stomach is full or I am famished with hunger, I praise God equally; when I am rebuffed and despised, I still thank God. My trust in God's providence and his plan for my life is absolute, so there is no such thing as a bad day."He continued, "Sir, you also wished me a happy life. I must insist that I am always happy for it would be untruthful to state otherwise. My experience of God has taught me that whatever He does must of necessity be good. Thus, everything that I receive from his loving hand or whatever He permits me to receive from the hands of others--be it prosperity or adversity, sweet or bitter--I accept with joy and see it as a sign of His favor. For many. many years now, my first resolution each morning is to attach myself to nothing but the will of God alone. I have learned that the will of God is the love of God. And by the outpouring of His grace, I have so merged my will with His that whatever He wills, I will too. Therefore, I have always been Happy."the beggar's witness to Jesus Christ lay in ruthless trust in the love of God and in the determination "for all things, give thanks" (1 Thes 5:8).

Later in his life, Tauler wrote that is amalgam of trust and gratitude is the shortest path to God. So why would I refer to "ruthless trust"? Webster's dictionary defines the adjective ruthless as "without pity". I use the word, in this context of trust, to mean "without self pity", because is the arch-enemy of trust.That does not mean all self-pity has to go. When the shadow of Jesus' cross darkens our space, when pain and suffering intrude and our secure, well-regulated lives are blown apart, when tragedy makes its unwelcome appearance and we are deaf to everything but the shriek of our won heartache, when courage flied out the window and the world around us suddenly seems hard and menacing, self-pity is the first, normal unavoidable, and probably right reaction; and we only exhaust ourselves further is we attempt to suppress it.

Human experience has taught me that there is no effective way to fight self-pity. Sure, we can spiritualize heartbreak, camouflage our emotions, and tap-dance into religiosity. But such bravado is a denial of our humanity, and furthermore it does not work. We are not spiritual robots but sensitive persons. However, there comes a time when self-pity becomes malignant, seducing us into self-destructive behavioral patterns of withdrawal, isolations, drinking, drugging, and so forth. We simply ask for the grace to set a time lilmit on our self-pity.

Ruthless Trust by B Manning beginning of chapter 12

Something a bit lighter - surfing

Seeing God's goodness in today. One of my closest friends here in Hawaii asked me to go surfing this morning at Keei (kay-aye). We got there and well, the surf rolling is was double over head high. Her sized waves, but not my sized waves - I'm more of a petite size girl right now - but hey I'm there to be in the water. I'm not dumb, just eager to get some exercise. Instead of surfing, we'll call me a close range surf spectator, or maybe shark bait. I paddled out and stayed to the far right away from the breaking waves and watched the other more experienced surfers ride. It was so refreshing just be out in the water - time to reflect and pray as I watch huge waves crash on the reef. I do miss long walks in the Colorado wilderness, but the Hawaii wilderness is out in the water. Between waves and trying to stay out of them I enjoyed watching the black trigger fishes splash the surface and the Hawaiian Sergents and yellow tangs cruise around the reef. And then right before I was going to head in - a whole pod of dolphins scooted along the reefs edge, baby's jumping, mama's spinning.

More surfing - it has been weeks since we've had good surf - so this afternoon Aaron and I headed down to our preferred beginner surf spot, Kahaluu. Preferred because the reef is at least a couple feet deeper and for beginners because there is a nice smaller inside wave. Paddling out a turtle came up 4 feet from my board - I think he winked at me. I think I can actually call what I did this time surfing. I've discovered that I have a lot more fun just catching the bigger whitewash from the outside break - no hassle in having to be in just the right place. Makes for a nice little ride. How sweet it was - Aaron and I got up on same whitewash together - somehow facing each other and rode together for a while throwing each other shakas. Aaron went down and I think I rode it for like 8 more seconds because it broke again(this is a long ride for me!) So refreshing - we finally feel like we are getting somewhere with this surfing thing - we actually stand up most of the time, we are more confident in the water, and get in the wrong place less often.

Lord, thank you for your goodness - this beautiful earth and getting to enjoy it.

Seeing God's Goodness

Psalms 27:13,14
I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.

Wait for the LORD;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD.

I write this knowing the truth, but fighting through the muck of this world that tells me things are not good. I guess it is really is a perceptual issue - and I ask myself - can their be good in the bad? Is that possible, or is the bad just really bad? How does God redeem the bad, when the bad doesn't go away? He can add good to the bad, but not take away the bad. Maybe that is the point, that here on earth things will always be good and bad. Only in heaven are things only good. This year has been full of lots of hard stuff - friends miscarriages, a friend losing a spouse, a couple of friends losing their babies, friend's and family losing their parent, family and friends experiencing major illness and pain - sadness almost too much to bear. Maybe I just have the wrong perception of death and pain - for those we know are going to heaven - death isn't a bad thing , it's a good thing and pain - it is temporary. I myself am not fearful or scared of dying. But being the one left on earth to grief - I find death and pain to be bad things, hard things, things I'd rather not be dealing with. But who do I think I am - everyone dies and pain is sure to continue coming - why would I think that I would be immune. I will likely watch many of the closest people in my life die and suffer pain. I do feel like the reality of death and pain has set me straight in some ways - it makes my purpose as a follower of Christ more clear, it makes me cherish the time I do have here a lot more and it makes me know where my real home is. This journey of life is a work in progress - full of all emotions - fun ones and hard ones. May I be able to see the beauty in sorrow someday - I'm just not there yet. Yet I will be confident in the Goodness of the Lord - I will wait for Him and be strong and take heart!