Hawaii

Wow - what an amazing vacation and scouting trip! We enjoyed our every minute on the islands - seeing and enjoying our friends again, watching Autumn love the beach, the crystal clear blue waters, surfing fun little waves, smelling sweet flowers, eating yummy fruit, sushi, and ono island fare!! We picked up our rental car and headed for the Keisers - we looked at each other and had the same thing on our mind. "This feels like home again." Funny how it was only our home for a year - yet if feels so homey. We'd meet friends and their first statement was usually "Welcome Home" followed by "When are you moving back?" or acquaintances would say - "Welcome back, when did you move back?" It is strange and a bit hard to explain how and why this place feels like home. Some of our greatest joys and our greatest challenges occurred here. We loved our life 10 minutes from the ocean, we loved exploring and treating our eyes to completely new sights and experiences, we had great joy in finding out we were pregnant, we had so many close friendships - bonds that happened quickly and were so deep. We also had to try to figure out how to live in a place where there is constant friendship turnover, where everything breaks, parents of students were not always nice, watching friends grieve from afar
and where we fought feelings of being very lonely at times. Our hearts have fallen in love with Kona. It was refreshing, awesome and fun to be back - and amazing to watch our daughter love the things we love while being there!
(For those of you who are worried right now - Colorado feels like home as well and we plan to try to make both places our home).

So... although this was vacation, it was the variety that felt a little different because our main agenda was seeing friends again and relaxing in places we were already familiar with. The waves rolled in just in time and we got to take turns playing in the waves - something I was so so so so excited for. I hadn't surfed since I was about 6 weeks pregnant with Autumn and it felt like it had been forever! Although it was not quite like hoping on a bike again, I got a feel for it and got to ride a few waves in!

Good friends we got to visit! Keisers, Simanjuntaks, Carpenters, Ang, Tosh, Brock, Hassels, Doctorchiks, Jaspers, Ashley, Jackson, Pat, Becky - plus many other friends from work, church and our upstairs neighbors.

Activities we enjoyed! Surfing, SUP, Wa'a ride, eating at Jackie Rays, Annie's Island Burgers, Denise's Cafe, and the Kona Inn, beach time, the lavender farm and the church celebration Luau.


Hotels we poached (using our beach access rights of course)! Mauna Lani, Hilton Waikoloa and The Grand Wailea

New Foods Autumn enjoyed! Papaya, Apple Bananas, Butter Avocado, Fig, Gold Fish (the cracker kind), Haupia, Okinawan Sweet Potato (baked and as chips)

Number of friends who told us they are pregnant! 2 with a 3rd who could be anytime!
How did Autumn do with the travel and time change?! She did awesome! We got an entire row on the way out there and that helped with the wiggles from California to Kona. We let her take a 30 minute power nap at 6:30 when we arrived and then she stayed up until 9:30 Hawaii time. Not bad. Only took that one night and then she slept in until 6 or 7 am each morning after. Staying asleep in foreign places is tough - but we all got enough sleep to be happy each day! On the way back she slept the entire ride from Kona to LA and then woke up ready to run (@2am Hawaii time) and then slept the next leg to Denver. She stayed up a bit late and slept in a bit, but was right back on CO time last night! Our flight to Maui and back was on a small 9 passenger Cessna - and Autumn had a ball! We're hoping her love of flying (or lack of fear) sticks around for a while!!


On the business side of things and our future: It is still our plan to spend some portion of each year in Hawaii. Aaron is figuring out how to pursue business in Hawaii and he had some good informational meetings with men who do business in Hawaii. So for now we will let God guide, take one step at a time and see what happens!

Again - Mahalo all our wonderful friends in Hawaii for welcoming us back with aloha, open arms and helping us have an incredible time back on the islands! A Hui Hou!!!! We miss you already!

Funny Differences

between the first time and this time...

Last time we came to Hawaii it was our first time being on the islands. After living here for a while and returning after a break, we can now look back and laugh at a few things when we arrived!

I don't say 'all what' 5x when someone says 'all Pau'
We no longer call Alii - Alielie or Hale - Hail
The sodium lights are still weird, but not confused with the stop lights
Unfortunately I still did not learn to reapply sunscreen frequently when I have no base tan and again I am fried )-: Opps...


These differences are not funny - but nice!

We have friends and friends with toys (-: (but of course they are not friends because they have toys)
Our friends greet us with "Welcome Home" after we finish talking about how homey Kona feels.
We know where most things are and can follow directions without saying "I think they said a word that starts with a P."
The ocean is not as scary.
We know where we want to go to church on Sunday Morning.

Road Trip Stats

Total Miles - 3850
Number of Days on the Road - 20
Gas $ - $371.93
Food $ - $461
Lodging $ - $333.76 (including 1 yr national park pass)
National Parks - 7
Friends Visited - 8
Longest day - 543 miles, 10 hours in the car
Number of pictures taken - 1028 (average 51 a day)
Number of times I sang "The wheels on the bus" - too many to remember (-:

One Year

Sweet Autumn,

Today is your first birthday! One year ago we got to meet you, hold you, cuddle, comfort and love on you! One year ago you made us parents - a role that now feels quite comfortable, a title we proudly hold - Autumn's mom and dad! We are so proud of you!

This last month of your first year has been very very busy and fun! We spent the first 3 weeks of it on a road trip. You got to experience many firsts - first time camping, first time in a hotel, first time swimming in a lake, meeting the ocean, first camp fire and the list goes on and on! You had so much fun exploring campsites, friends homes, and parks. Your adventurous spirit wows us, your expressions make us laugh and your cuddles melt our hearts.
















Your language, understanding and ability to imitate us has completely exploded this month. You emphatically sign and say awdu when you have finished eating. You say ma ma ma when I leave the room. You blow at the fire after daddy does and load the dryer with clothes while I load the washer. You come when I ask you to, well mostly. You sign milk, call for Ella, have said Nana and Papa and say up and puppy. Your eyes and hands inspect everything and we can almost see the wheels turn in your cute little head!

Things you love -
Giving and getting kisses and goobers
Putting things in and out of other things
Hugging and kissing your babies
Dancing to music - today you started stopping with your head banging
Mama's milk
Running up to daddy and saying "Hi da"
Playing in water
Fruit - particularly mangos, strawberries, raspberries and grapes
Exploring
Running
Belly Kisses

Things you are not so fond of -
Being told no
Getting changed
Having to sit for bath time
Vegetables
Sleeping

Your Stats!















The first year has been more than we could have imagined! You went from a teeny tiny baby to a little girl who now walks, talks and knows what she wants. We fall more and more in love with you everyday and have a hard time imagining life before 9.8.09! You bring us so much joy and happiness! May each year be as sweet as this one!

We love you sweet Autumn Bear!

Mama and Daddy

Road Trip 2010

I need to journal about our trip before the memories get farther away than they already are! Luckily we took hundreds of photos, so hopefully that too will help spark smiles when we look back!

Amazing - that is the best word to describe all 3 weeks on the road!

Autumn was amazing! She hardly fussed, napped when it was convenient and enjoyed our every stop. She explored the camp sites, flirted with tourists at the national parks, played with friends, ran on the beach, climbed on rocks, giggled down slides and in swings, and hiked to alpine lakes and waterfalls.


The scenery was amazing! We blessed our eyes with 7 gems of the West - Zion, Death Valley, Yosemite, Redwood, Lassen Volcano, Mt. Rainer and Yellowstone (and technically Teton, but we didn't stop) Waterfalls, giant trees, granite cliffs, sandstone cliffs, glaciers, wildlife, geysers, paint pots... the list of God's amazing creations that we got to enjoy goes on and on!


Our friends are amazing! We got to spend great quality time with many friends! Top moments included inflatable rafting with Kaitlin, playing Settlers with the Haywards, Mexican Train with the Robinsons, play time with little O, Parade, Lentil Festival and fun with the Watsons, lunch and walking around the arboretum with Jessie and Bruce, Photo shoot with the Watsons, Dinner with Cory and meeting Kristin, Campfires with the Roberts', Dinner with Jeff, singing to Autumn in the car with Connie and so many more!

The weather was amazing! Not once did we have to dig out our rain jackets and I only used the umbrella for rain on our way out of Yellowstone at 5am! The sun shined brightly, Mt. Rainer was clear, Yosemite Valley was warm and Lake Tahoe and the Oregon coast were swim-able!

Best Moment of the Trip: About 1/2 through our trip when we realized we were having so much fun and were not going to regret our vacation. We had our fair share of doubts about being gone that long, having no routine and camping with a 11 month old 9 nights.

Hardest Moment of the Trip: Cold nights with Autumn in the tent. I will admit sleeping outside was the most difficult part of the trip - for all of us. I came to a full understanding of why people switch from tents to pop ups and RVs!


Best View Point: Mt Rainer is my favorite! Reflection Lake east of Paradise.

Best Rest Stops: The little parks in Joseph, UT, Bishop, CA and Baggs, WY

Best Hike: Comet Falls - Mt. Rainer National Park - just Autumn and I while Aaron napped. Just over 4 miles and over 1000 foot elevation gain! The whole hike was gorgeous and the waterfalls at the top were amazing!!! Autumn took a nap in the Ergo, took in the views and then giggled as we sang and skipped on the way down.
Best Walk: Fountain Paint Pot, Yellowstone - outstanding colors!

Autumn's Favorite Moment (I get to guess): Meeting the Ocean near Bandon, OR! She had a ball, first exploring the sand, touching sea weed, watching the sea gull and then running into the water over and over and over again. She didn't care that her lips were starting to turn blue or that her diaper began to sag with wetness! She would get a huge smile and turn to the water and run! (Ang - it was the same smile you give when paddling back out after a great ride!)

Favorite foods: Lentil Soup and Balaclava from the lady at the Lentil Festival, The Crazy Norwegians Fish and Chips in Port Orford, OR and eating Thai three times! (the Lamb, bison brats in Yellowstone, burgers, steak and other meals were amazing as well!)

Understanding my Mama a little more

This is not a light hearted post. This weekend I came face to face with a bit more understanding. My mother is a baby nurse and for her entire career has walked through different stages of loss and grief with families who loose their tiny babies in the hospital. On top of being directly involved with families she also hears and knows all the confidential background of many many tragic stories.

I am not able to go into detail for confidentiality reasons, but this weekend I was on the outskirt involvement of a family who's story turned the wrong direction. Tragedy involving a child my child's age. A story too close to home, empathy that brought many tears and made it difficult to go in and do my job.

I don't know how my mother didn't have nervous break downs through out the first years of my brother's and I's lives. She knows and has seen too much. She didn't bundle us in bubble wrap or hover over our every move, as much as I'm sure she would have liked too. I tend not to be a fearful or worrying type of person, but everyday as a parent is a battle against fear and worry.

Life continues to point me in the direction of thoughts in the line of "Live and love as much and often as you can because there are no guarantees, life can change in an instant."

Breastfeeding

Umm... for some reason I have been having breastfeeding thoughts lately. As Autumn approaches a year, friends are interested in when I plan to ween. I've put some thought into it, but kind of just figure I'll just kind of go with whatever. It is so convenient and more and more so, as she eats less often. I love that she is getting antibodies with the nutrients too.

Just few months ago I dreamed of not leaking, having no pain and not having to time exercise around feedings. Making it to a year seemed like a long shot. Now I'm still breastfeeding and all these issues are non-issues - now it seems so much more complicated to store and carry another source of milk, wash bottles, guess how much she will drink... Breastfeeding seems so much easier.

Tonight I was reading some information on breastfeeding into toddlerhood.

In addition to other benefits, with just 15 ounces of breast milk she is getting

• 29% of energy requirements
• 43% of protein requirements
• 36% of calcium requirements
• 75% of vitamin A requirements
• 76% of folate requirements
• 94% of vitamin B₁₂ requirements
• 60% of vitamin C requirements

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html

So, I'll eat my words "once she can ask for 'booby' - I think I'll be done" and see what happens. There are just so many health benefits for her and myself if we continue and I'm not one to care too much about what other people think. Social norms in America say breastfeeding should be done by age one, but most of the world feeds their children human milk until 2-4 years of age... To each her own... every child, unique needs... this is our journey...

11 months old

You were 11 months old a few days ago and you are growing up so fast. It is hard to imagine that in a few short weeks we will be celebrating your 1^st birthday. This has been a very busy month and you are as busy as a little bee. This month the best words to describe you are determined and a girl who know what she wants. We have had so much fun watching you change more and more from a baby into a little girl. You love to giggle, hug, pat, goober, move, stuff things places, carry bags around, discover and adventure.

Mama and you were able to go visit your new baby cousin Eric in Maryland and see your Uncle Chad and Aunt Christie. We had a great time hanging out, you loved looking and trying to touch and pat baby Eric, climbing up and down their stairs and giggling with Uncle Chad. We all went to Washington DC to see the animals at the National Zoo and to a fun little English Pub in downtown. You did not have a great interest in the slow moving animals but did watch the monkeys a bit. Our plane was delayed on our way home and you were an angel the entire 9 hours it took to get home, landing in St. Louis, Kanasas City and then finally Denver.

This month you did your first overnights away from Mama. One night with Dada while Mama went backpacking and another with Dada, Nana and Granddad while Mama worked in Loveland, and one with just Nana and Granddad while Mama and Dada went to Mama’s high school reunion. You did very well without Mama, and probably slept better without the temptation of nice warm milk and mama cuddles close at hand.

Your accomplishments have been mastering the stairs up and down, getting off the couch by your self, being able to walk on pretty much any surface – grass, small hills, through small rocks…, pretty consistantly waving hi and bye, waving as we walk out the door before we say good bye, consistantly calling us mama and da, minding us sometimes when we say no, saying Ahhhh?.?. to see where we are in the house, giving us goobers regularly, hugging your baby doll and giving her kisses, and feeding your self pretty much all your finger food.

Your Nana used to tell Mama that she hopes Mama gets a girl just like her and I think she may have gotten her wish! Your Mama was very much like you at your age – busy, opinionated, happy when doing what she wanted to do. These can all be good things, but it means we are going butt heads from time to time when our agendas differ. Just know that I love you and want the best for you, even when our ideas are different!

Well, here's to 11 wonderful months. Thank you for all the love, joy, and smiles you have brought to our lives. We love you so much and look forward to this last month of infanthood with you!

Mama and Dada

The Deeper Journey

I've been reading this book with a friend and it has certainly gotten my attention! The Deeper Journey is all about a life completely and utterly sold out for Christ. Walking step by step in His ways, with His spirit and for His purposes. We are not to be our false selves or our religious false selves that do things to impress others or out of fear, but to be our Christ selves that serve, obey and transform in order to build His Kingdom. It is a journey for sure to get deeper and not live on the surface! Praying for continued transformation, a new more compassionate, loving, graceful heart - that only lives to serve God and others! A life that is only achievable by giving it all up and dieing to myself - a daily battle to let God take over, take control and guide every step!

Quote of the Day

"If you enjoy reading with your children, wonderful. But if you skip the nightly book, you're not stunting their intelligence, ruining their chances for college or dooming them to a dead-end job. The same goes for the other dilemmas that weigh on parents' consciences. Watching television, playing sports, eating vegetables, living in the right neighborhood: Your choices have little effect on your kids' development, so it's OK to relax. In fact, relaxing is better for the whole family. Riding your kids "for their own good" rarely pays off, and it may hurt how your children feel about you."
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704289504575313201221533826.html?mod=wsj_share_facebook#printMode

Hoping to let God guide my parenting, to relax and enjoy the ride as much as I can! I still plan to offer the best I know - good food, a life in the outdoors, lots of educational opportunities... and to try hard follow the commands to not be anxious, to love fully, not to fear and know at the end of the day I did the best I knew how.

10 months old

Sweet baby girl, you are now 10 months old and such a delight! I think the best words for this last month are "curious and busy." You are our little explorer. You now know every square inch of the house you are allowed in (and maybe a few inches where we try to keep you out of too.) You have taken off - at the beginning of the month you were taking a few steps and now you are walking in circles and on grass. You love to giggle, pet and play fetch with Ella, haul stuff from one room to the next, climb steps, play peek-a-boo, put magnets off and on the fridge - mostly off, dance to our cell phone music and say ahhh in every intonation possible. You say mama every now and then and imitate ba's, da's, ga's, pup and other sounds. You have started to feed yourself small pieces of fruit, meat and cheese and delight in throwing some to Ella as well. We are trying to teach you this isn't a good idea, but it is sure cute. Your sleeping schedule has improved nicely - after a bit of sleep training you are now sleeping from around 8-9 to 5-6. Some nights you need a cuddle around 3 and put back to sleep and some nights you are able to sleep all night long. Now that you are teething again, sleep is a bit more difficult, but we will make it through. Naps are still a struggle, but we aren't giving up! One day you were so tired you fell asleep eating.
New foods this month include peaches, steak, cheese, whole wheat bread, cottage cheese, ricotta, lemon (which you loved sucking on), cantaloupe, buckwheat, triticale, and rye. You pretty much love everything we give you except for pears.

The beginning of the month we took an airplane and had a good time in Washington with friends. We celebrated M's arrival, honored G's birthday, visited beautiful gardens, had nice meals and played with friends at the W's. You even got to see a grizzly bear! One night you were not very tired and mom let you pull everything out of the suitcase on to the bed. Oh, what a mess!!!

A few days ago you saw your first 4th of July fireworks show. As tradition would have it, we went to North Shore Park for a bit and then had a nice picnic dinner at Grandma and Papa's. Right as dinner ended, the rain began dumping, caused flooding and made the city postpone the fireworks until the next night. So the next night we went to the golf course and played with the cousins and watched the fireworks from the grass. You watched for a bit and then started crawling around - must keep busy!
You also met your great great Uncle Emil from Canada. He is our last connection to our Grandma Grace Cross - who we gave you the name Keanna, which means gracious in Hawaiian. He reminded Mom so much of her dear Grandma and had fun story's about them growing up together.

Momma having fun with your hair - a little birthday wish for Tosh's Mohawk Birthday Party!
We love you Autumn Bear and can't wait to explore and learn about the world with you!
Love,
Daddy and Mommy

Icky Sicky

Well - here's to a nasty summer cold )-: The post in my head is somewhat of a vent - this cold has knocked me a good one. Coming off almost a year of being cold free - I ponder this stage in life - did not really expect this part of it. I knew that Autumn touching and mouthing things would lead to her catching a few colds and building her immune system - we try to limit the icky things that go in her mouth, but this is an impossible job. In addition to her building her immune system - I guess I am too... I didn't realize that I would get sicker than she a lot of the time. She catches something, then 2-3 days later I'm sick too. It seems that we've been sick every 2 weeks for about 3 months. As normal as it is, I'm sure ready to be well for a while. This one has hit me the hardest - I've had a runny nose since Thursday, can't lay down flat, have taken many many hot showers, am on 1200 mg of Musinex to prevent my tendency to get sinus infections, drinking apple cider vinager through out the days (yes gross, but everything I read says it works?), and now it is in my lungs, I sound like a frog and have missed 3 days of work. Autumn and I were supposed to go to Baltimore tomorrow to meet the newest addition to our family, but I've moved our tickets to next week in hopes that my ears don't explode on the airplane and that I can actually cuddle the sweet little guy!

When I worked in the school system - a cold did not prevent me from working - I'd just try to keep my ickys away from the kids. However, now working in the Acute part of the hospital - working sick is just not an option - for them or me. So I will keep sipping my tea, steaming my airways and pray that each tomorrow is better than the yesterday!

Aaron, thanks for being such a sweet, loving, tender, consistent and wonderful father! You are our man and we love you so much!!!!!

Visiting Washington

Last week I was blessed to get to spend the week with my dear friend from grad school and her family and close friends. Autumn and I flew to Spokane and drove down to the Palouse (I found out this is a geographic name specific to this place - meaning rolling hills). This trip was very filled with many emotions. Excitement, sadness, thankfulness, heart ache, joy, love and so much more. It was a wonderful trip - exactly where we were supposed to be.

This is the first time I've traveled back to this area since October of 2008 when I was there for Grace's Memorial service. I know it is not even fair to say this - as the great loss in that month was not my own - but that time in my life was undoubtedly one the hardest. Watching a dear friend go through the worst of losses here on earth - losing a sweet baby. The overwhelming grief and sadness - and wishing more than anything that I was able to give more support than I could being so very far away. I was so grateful for a window into my friend's heart through her blog - to feel close and connected to her when I was hundreds of miles away. I floundered to figure out how to be a friend in unspeakable grief. This loss quickly became a significant part of my life. I longed for communications and opportunities to love my friend. Tears frequently fall from my eyes as I pray for my friends and as think about the tragedy.

This last week was filled with joy and happiness in celebrating the gift of their daughter born in May. What a treasure she is. We got to soak in her coos, sleepy smiles, tender cuddles and sweet essence. What a blessing. To see joy and happiness on my dear friend's face as she tenderly cared for her daughter warmed my heart to the core. This incredible joy and happiness is a new chapter in life.
The emotions of sadness, grief and longing will forever linger. Sweet Grace will be missed forever and the dreams of what she would be doing will always come to mind. She'd be giving her tiny sister sweet kisses, hugging Autumn, getting excited about the birds in the back yard and crawling all over her mommy and daddy, as 2 year olds do. Monday Grace had her second birthday. I'm sure she had a grand party in heaven loving Jesus with a beautiful crown of gold. Here on earth she was missed and honored. With a lovely gathering of close friends, we honored Grace, remembered her with fondness, sang her happy birthday and cried out in grief that she wasn't with us. I was so honored to be there, to love, hug, cry, remember, and honor. I lack words to express the experience of the last 21 months, there really aren't words - only an ache. An ache that will really only go away when we all get to heaven and can all be together again.
It was sad to leave. I wished I lived closer. Again phone calls, emails and ecards will have to suffice, as presence isn't an option. Looking forward to the next visit!

9 months old!

Sweet baby - you are now 9 months old!

The last month has been one of so many smiles and so much joy. For the most part you are such a happy happy baby. You bring so much love to our lives. Just last night you played in between your daddy and I and gave us snuggles, kisses, goobers, giggles and so many smiles. We are so blessed!
This month you have started doing exciting new things! The biggest one being taking your first steps on your own at 8 months 20 days! We are both excited and scared about this new milestone! You are just not quite old enough to know what no means or what might be dangerous, so we have to watch you like a hawk. You are so busy! You want to check everything out - small, big, wet, hard, soft... you inspect and then taste! Just yesterday you clapped with daddy and you still love playing peek a boo! You are more consistently waving good bye and still like to give big toothy kisses.

Milestones:
Imitated "mama" "dada" and "au um"
Said Ella when looking at our puppy, and occasionally "repeating puppy"
Coming to us when we call for you
Cruising along the furniture
Took your first independent steps
Yesterday you sat up from my leg and walked 5 steps to daddy
You got your first bug bite )-:
Went to your first MLB game





Your Stats:
Height 26 1/2" = 75%
Weight 16 pounds 13 ounces = 12%
Head 17" = 25%

Foods you have eaten so far - quinoa, rice, oatmeal, spelt, barley, avocado, applesauce, apricot, applesauce, sweet potatoes, green beans, peas, carrots, banana, puffs, mango, soy beans, pear, butternut squash, acorn squash, cherries, blueberries, plain Greek yogurt, ground chicken, kiwi, potato, watermelon, and honey dew.
Keep growing big and strong! We are so proud of you!
Love,
Mommy and Daddy

The Busy Life!

Wow - the last week has been crazy busy and so good! Last weekend my best friend from the college years came into town and stayed with us with her husband for another good friend's wedding. It was so nice to get to see her and spend some time with her husband, as the only other time we've seen him was during their wedding festivities! Sunday we were able to go to a Rockies game all together. After they left Aaron and I both felt like Brian Regan had stayed with us for the weekend - he is that funny! (-: Our friend's wedding out at Ellis Ranch was lovely - she even came in on a horse drawn carriage - so romantic! Monday night we were able to spend the evening with friends in Fort Collins and other friends that had come into town for the wedding! Then Tuesday night we had dinner with Aaron's best friend and his wife who were in town from Myanmar! Also this week Aaron and his dad were able to move the pluming and electric for the washer and dryer - the first step for us t be able to put a toilet in the basement. Thursday we took off for Glenwood Springs for me to work the weekend and to go to my best friend from HS's daughters 2nd birthday party! I think this may be the last time for a while that we get to see so many of our closest friends in such a short time! (and baby Autumn did awesome with all the activity!)

On other fronts - my co-worker busted his ACL surgery and is having surgery again at the end of the month. Sad. Means there will be more hours to cover and big holes in the schedule when I'm out of town for the next 15 weeks. )-:

Next week I leave to go see a dear friend in Washington! I'm so excited to see her and meet her new baby girl! That and any moment my sister in law will be going in to labor to bring my nephew into the world! Praising God for all the miracles of life around me!