Autumn's 4 month photo shoot

Free Zoo Days

Less is open - but fun none the less!

2010 Free Days

Tuesday, February 16
Wednesday, October 13
Thursday, October 21
Sunday, November 7
Saturday, November 13

Bye bye 2009

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
Gave Birth - it was everything I had hoped it to be!

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions and will you make more for next year?
Didn't really make any resolutions

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Me, Lindsay and Heidi

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No

5. What countries did you visit?
Sad - none

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Surf - that I can ride - being pregnant and living in Colorado seriously hampered my surfing addiction.

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
September 8th, 2009 - the birth of my daughter Autumn

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Becoming a mother - the best job in the whole world.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Giving up on working with 2 children in Maui because I couldn't tolerate their parents.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Fortunately not.

11. What was the best thing you bought in 2009?
Fleece (-:

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Our Maui parents the Hassells, my husband, my doula, my mother, all my family

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
plead the 5th

14. Where did most of your money go?
Honda Accord, home repairs

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Autumn, New nephew or niece on the way, friend's pregnancies, swimming with like 20 dolphins, seeing whales from the kayak, swimming with manta rays, starting a business

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2009?
Sadly in loving memory, Winter Song

17. Are you happier or sadder?
Happier - Children are pure joy from God

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Spent more time with friends, surfed, hiked, traveled

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
work at Pukalani Elementary

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
With my dear in law family

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
With my baby - more and more ever since January 6th - the day we knew she was inside me!

23. What was your favorite TV program?
Chuck - the only program I'll watch with Aaron.

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Hate is a strong word...

25. What was the best book you read?
Ina May's Guide to Natural Childbirth

26. What was your favorite musical discovery?
Didn't have one )-:

27.What did you want and get?
A healthy baby and a sewing machine

28. What did you want and not get?
To stay in Kona for the Spring semester.

29. What was your favorite film of this year?
Up!

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
28 - Church, went shopping and had lunch with my niece that has the same birthday and shared a family birthday at my nieces house.

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Being transported to a Hawaiian beach everyday the temperature got below 40 here in Colorado.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Mommy friendly, Hawaiian print, Kona Boys logo gear


33. What kept you sane?
God, husband, family, friends

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Jason Borne

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Giving money to corporate America and Health care policy

36. Who did you miss?
Angie and Kaitlin

37. Who was the best new person you met?
Denise and Harrison, Judy

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
Patience and Grace - slowly learning more everyday

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs in my field, since the payment is pure love. ~Mildred B. Vermont

3 Months Young

Wow!!! I can hardly believe that Autumn's birthday was 3 months ago! She is growing like a weed - putting on almost 5 pounds. She now smiles on cue, loves to kick and hit toys hanging over her, enjoys the swing, coos and awes at anyone, LOVES her sea life mobile, and is sleeping 4-6 hours at a time most nights with a new record of 8.5 hours last night. She is cuddly, sweet and wonderful in every way!!

Thanksgiving~

Thanksgiving snuck up on us this year. I'm still in a bit of denial that it is already the end of November. This day is a wonderful day to reflect and praise God for all the blessings that surround us daily!
In no particular order - I give thanks!
For God's unending love, my incredible husband, my wonderful family, my healthy babe and all the joy she brings to my life, a warm home, a free country, loving friends, good neighbors, warm showers, the mountains, the waves and the inventor of the surf board, easy transportation, extra time with my mother-in-law lately, my crazy fun nieces and nephews, cell phones and the friends/family on the other end, soups, Joann's sales, my puppy dog (most of the time), cooking, enjoying butter avocados the size of my head, whale tails, mountain lakes, friends with accents, sunny skies, mail, good doctors, footed baby pants, not having to use an alarm clock right now... (-: -Thank you Lord for all my blessings!!!!!

My ideal life

January-April: Occupational Therapist in Hawaii
April- September: In Colorado playing with my children and PRN Occupational Therapist one day a week
October-December: Hat making and spending time with my family in Colorado

Give the Gift of Water!

www.charitywater.org

Diapers Ruined!

I was really hopeful that today's post would say "Problem Averted!" After all the washes, dishwasher detergent scrubs and 2 washes in the dishwasher, a soak in Borax and another 2 washes to get the chemicals out - I've given up hope that the Bumgenius pocket daipers will ever be absorbent again. Luckily the inserts are still absorbing, so the wrap/liner with pockets have officially become wraps instead of pocket diapers. It is a bit upsetting that Butt Paste in one diaper and on a few cloth wipes washed with the others ruined my entire set. )-: I do have prefolds too, so I will hopefully be able to use them and the microfiber Bumgenius inserts inside the diapers. I'm hoping for the best and praying away leaking problems!

So lesson learned the hard way - diaper rash cream is deathly to fleece liners inside pocket diapers, let anyone diapering your child know how to use the flush-able liners when using creams and wash all cloth wipes with diaper cream on the separately!

Arrggghhh...

Okay -
Bumgenius liners are still repelling water... I've washed them 10 times, soaked them in oxyclean with no luck. I'm pretty sure zinc oxide is the culprit - however it was only on one of the diapers without a liner used because I forgot to mention that a liner needs to be used. However - all 12 of my liners are now repelling - did washing them spread the problem to all of them? Ughh...

I keep reading 'ruined' when I search getting zinc oxide out of the fleece liners.

Rebecca - did vinegar baking soda take out diaper cream?

I've also read to give Dawn a try and scrub with a grout brush?

I want to rip my hair out - well - maybe not - but what a frustration. I'm going to get rid of all of my zinc oxide creams - does anyone that uses disposables want it??

One of those mornings!

After a very long, exhausting and good birthday weekend (2 craft fairs one in Highlands Ranch and one in Loveland and 2 birthday dinners) Autumn slept well last night - which was great - but it meant that I had 20 minutes to get ready for her 2 month Dr. appointment. Luckily my parents were still here and my mom changed and dressed Autumn while I got ready. We ran out the door and I got to the car and realized that the base for the car seat was in Aaron's car - oops. I remembered that I could put it in the car without the base before I freaked out. Then I backed out and - clunk clunk. Oh dear what did I hit - the trash can had been placed behind my car for pickup. I got out, picked up the dumped trash from the street, re-parked it in another spot, had a good laugh and headed to the Dr. office. Dr. visit went well - Autumn is growing well - 60th % for height, 10th % for weight and 6th% for head size. She got her 2 month immunizations and peed out her diaper. I told the nurse that it didn't make sense as these diaper should absorb for a toddler. Sure enough I opened it and and the pee didn't absorb and was sitting on the diaper - not good, not good at all. I came home and checked the other diapers and they are repelling water too! What the heck happened. I'm triple hot washing them in hopes that they start absorbing again. So here's hoping!!!!!!!!!! If you have other advise I'm open ears!

My Hat Model

The Mad Hatter

Well... I've started my own home based business. What!! Last weekend Aaron completed the online paper work and I'm the official owner of a limited liability company called Rocky Mountain Wacky Warmers. I think I'm crazy - but I guess that is okay. I've always enjoyed making things and growing up I always had a great idea of what I should try to make and sell. In elementary school I sold lanyard key chains and earrings at my cousins' grandparent's fruit stand, in middle school I sold hair scrunchies and assorted chocolate covered foods and in high school I made practice shorts for my HS BFF and myself. If I think back hard enough I'm sure there are other crafty items I've tried to sell and usually made enough money to at least subsidise my current craft addiction.

Five weeks ago when my mom and I were trying to come up with photo props for Autumn's one week photo shoot - I remembered these hats I made for my nieces and nephews a few years back. I cut 2 out - a red one and a pink one. I tied ribbon around them, one together and the other in pig tails and then used a safety pin to hold them together in the back. There the idea was born - the photos of Autumn in the hats were adorable. Two weekends later on our 16 hour drive to and from my one of my best friends' wedding I kept thinking about the hats, crunched some numbers and dreamt about the possibilities. Doesn't every little girls basketball team need matching basketball hats with cute little ribbons to keep their heads warm after a game? Doesn't every baby need a fun little hat to take pictures in?

So there you have it - in the last 3 weeks I've started base level branding, marketing planning, designing, supply buying, display making and hat making. This weekend I was able to set up for my first craft show. Luckily I've been blessed with a marketing/web designing/small business knowledgeable husband, a mother and mother-in-law helping to sew, a father-in-law with a fancy camera, a grandfather that can build anything and a grandma and dad with small business advice. Without all their help - I would not have been able to pull off getting ready for my first show.

I called my mother-in-law this Friday morning as we both were driving to the craft fair and proclaimed my craziness. The night before we had dinner guests and then Autumn didn't fall asleep until 2am. I got up Friday morning at 7am and got everything in the car, drilled a hole in a 4x4 for my Christmas tree topper, got Autumn fed and dressed, got myself showered and dressed, frantically searched for the price cards I had printed the day before, resent the price cards to Sam's club because I couldn't find the originals and then took off for west Loveland. I really didn't want to do this craft fair since it was so soon and I wasn't sure I'd be ready. However, it was free and I really wanted to get an idea of what people liked before my bigger show at Cherry Hills Community Church in Highlands Ranch. The craft fair was a bust as far as customers - I don't think more than 150 people walked in to look at the vendors. But boy did I learn a ton!! The gal and fellow next to me are basket weavers and they had valuabe knowledge about local craft fairs, small business taxes and craft ideas. I also learned about the patterns and hats I think will sell best from the few customers and the other vendor's children. Most importantly I got the feeling that I have a viable part time home business - the feed back from people was very positive. I only sold a whooping 10 hats - but now I have little bit of exposure, I learned so much and have a small network of crafty friends!

So we shall see where Rocky Mountain Wacky Warmers goes from here!!! It will be fun - and hopefully it at least helps me to afford my current addiction (-:

5 weeks

I can not believe that it has been 5 weeks. Part of me feels like it has been forever and the other part feels like it was yesterday. Autumn is a nearly perfect baby - her job right now is to eat, sleep, potty and grow - and she is quite good at all of them! We are truly enjoying our little girl so very much! She wakes up a little more each day giving us more eye contact and attention. She has shared a couple little awake smiles, but it is still hard to tell how intentional they are. Today she watched the mobile above her swing intently for the first time.
It has been fun to have the cousins around - my 4 and 5 year old nieces are so sweet and pretty funny as well. The other night the whole family came over and I was feeding Autumn under my cover. Both girls came over and lifted the cover and stuck their heads under to see how everything was going. It was so cute and hilarious! I'm sure some dolls may find themselves eating in a new way this week! Well, she has finally fallen asleep, so off to bed we go!

One year

My heart has been heavy this week. Sorrow lingers and the pain of loss continues. I started my blog about a year ago after a tragedy. One of my dear friends lost her infant to SIDS - gut wrenching, awful and not understandable. One year ago we celebrated the life of sweet Grace singing "In Christ Alone" and shedding painful tears at her memorial service. Tonight I am shedding tears with a slightly heightened understanding of the pain - as Autumn is sleeping on my chest. Aaron and I now have the one tangible thing in life that brings the most joy and also has the potential to bring the absolute most grief and heartache - a child. Only God can ease the brokenness and comfort the aching souls of those who have lost a child.

Over this year I journeyed through trying to figure out how to be a long-distant friend after tragedy. I still don't know how. Sometimes the best I can do is quietly cry and pray in the shower.

Another thing I have learned more about this year is graciousness. The explanation given at Grace's memorial service of what grace is was completely convicting. It is something I struggle with - I am way more apt to blame, accuse and get angry about wrong doing and I tend to assume that people's intentions were harmful instead of accidental. Grace is undeserved favor - a gift God gives us and that we are to give each other. I need more grace in my life and I continue to pray that God helps me to grant grace to those around me so that they may see a better picture of God's grace. I pray that my gut reactions are gracious, assuming the best and not the worst. It is a work in process.

This next year I look forward to being part of my friend's non-profit foundation. I'm completely honored and eager to start my roll on the Board of Directors as the Content Developer. I get to be the researcher and help write content related to prevention and education regarding SIDS and infant death.

Please continue praying for my friend, her husband and their family and friends. The road is long, ugly and hard. My biggest prayer is the name of my blog - that in the land of the living we will see God's goodness. Not all things are good and tragedy is real and most difficult - but I want to see that He will prevail.

Psalms 27:13,14 I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD

Paper Quilt Bookmarks

I thought it would be fun to start getting the Brown girls together once a week for an afternoon of crafts. Today was our first craft session and we made these fun bookmarks.

Supplies: Scrap booking paper, scissors, stickers, laminating paper, iron, ironing board and a thin piece of plain cardboard.

Cut your paper into fun shapes, add stickers and place in laminating paper. Place cardboard over paper on iron board and iron on high until melted together. There is no need to glue anything as the lamination paper will stick it all together.

Autumn's Birth Story

Autumn, this is the story of your birth. You are my first child and the story of how you came into this world is one full of blessings, challenges, surprises, patience, joy and complete awe. Your story is a bit longer than most because I started labor 62 hours before you were born. Your Nana Arla did the same thing with Uncle Chad and I had been somewhat worried I'd have a similar experience - and I did. I was blessed that unlike your Nana, at night time my labor slowed down and I was able to get a little bit of rest and it never sped up fast enough for us to be tempted to go to the hospital until it was actually time to need to be there. Here it begins - Labor Day Weekend 2009.

Saturday - I woke up feeling off - not sick, just off. I went to the bathroom and happened to glance and see what I'd read about being a mucus plug, or at least a piece of it. I was excited, as this typically means labor will come in less than a week. We headed over to your Grandma Mary's and Papa Jerry's for lunch with the family and had steaks the size of our heads, as your daddy proclaimed. It was yummy! Both Aunt Kelly and Grandma Mary commented that I just wasn't myself and that it couldn't be too long before you made your appearance. I was tired and having contractions every 30-40 minutes that were quite a bit stronger than any of the Braxton Hicks contractions I had been having. We headed home to rest and get ready to head up to Fort Collins to have dinner with Zach and Marcie. Before we left I saw some more of that mucus plug and was hopeful that this these labor pains were the real thing. The only question was whether you would come that night, the next day or any other day that week? Your dad and I had a nice dinner with our friends, ate lots of fajitas and chips and played some 42 (which Marcie and I came back from 0-5 to win!) On the way home I had a whooper of a contraction and gained new appreciation for living so close to the hospital - all the little bumps made it very difficult to relax. Off to bed we went - I headed for the the couch as it was much more comfortable than our bed because I could snuggle into the back and have more support.

Sunday - I continued to have contractions every 20-30 minutes through the night, but I was able to sleep pretty well on both sides of them. We got ready for church and headed out - I was determined not to stop life, as I had read that it is possible to have this very slow labor for days. That morning I told your dad that I thought labor was going to be a bit tougher than I had originally thought. He kind of chuckled at me and asked what I thought it was going to be. I told him I had really hoped to be one of those lucky women with a pain free labor. At this point the contractions were quite strong and I knew they would have to get stronger, which meant it was going to be pretty intense and painful. After church we called our Doula Kathy to let her know what was going on. She came over that afternoon and went on a quick walk with me. Your Dad was working on our coffee table and I continued to get things like laundry and dishes done around the house. That evening after it got dark your dad and I went on a long walk around our neighborhood. The contractions were about the same, but now about every 10-15 minutes apart. Off to bed (I mean the couch) again. This night the contractions slowed down, as I was timing them on contractionmaster.com and I got several 40-50 minute stretches of sleep. Although they slowed down, they became more intense. At about 2 in the morning I fought a couple of them by tensing my bottom and breathing rapidly and man did they hurt. I crawled into bed with your dad and asked him to help me relax through the next few. At this point I decided to try to mentally focus on my cervix through the contractions and I was then able to keep my bottom relaxed and get through them without as much pain.

Monday - This was Labor Day and so your dad had the day off. I slept in as late a possible and then got up and ready for the day. I told your dad that I wanted to do normal stuff and stay occupied. We took off around 10:30 to get paint for the window well covers and then up to Fort Collins to get RC Airplane fuel for your dad's plane. I had decided a bath would be nice and so we headed over to your Grandma Mary's and Papa Jerry's to eat lunch, use their tub and hang out. All morning my contractions were staying at about 30 minutes apart. We had yummy steak fajitas and I drew my bath. Your dad and Papa Jerry went out to fly his plane. At this point I figured I'd been laboring for about 50 hours and really wanted to know if anything was happening. Against medical advice I'm sure and much to your dad's dismay, I checked myself. Guess what I felt - your head! I knew we had to be close, again I didn't know how close, but close. I waited until we got home to tell your dad that I felt your head and then we started discussing how soon we would head to the hospital. In our Bradely Method class, we were taught it was best to wait until the contractions are about 4-5 minutes apart for over an hour before heading to the hospital. However, a friend of mine said that hers never got closer than 7 minutes apart but got more intense. Being my first time in labor, intensity was rather relative to the previous contraction and so I didn't exactly know at what intensity going to the hospital was justified. Since I had been in labor for so long, we decided that we would head to the hospital that evening to get checked out and if things were not ready we would just come on home. We decided to go on a walk around 5pm and the contractions picked up, and were about 5 minutes apart. Your dad suggested that we head back to the house and later admitted he was worried he'd have to carry me over the fence. We got back to the house and called Kathy to let her know that we were planning on heading to the hospital after we ate some dinner. She thought that was a good idea and planned to meet us there. Earlier in the day Nana Arla had decided to go ahead and come over from Glenwood Springs, as she didn't want me to be home alone on Tuesday if my labor continued to putter along. She got into town around 6 and picked us up some dinner from Mimi's and Noodles and Company. I had chicken soup and we packed everything else we needed in case we got to stay at the hospital. I continued to have contractions 5-8 minutes apart and tried different positions to breathe and relax through them. I liked sitting on the toilet and resting my chest on the couch while on my knees the best. Right before we left your dad posted my contraction chart on facebook and then your Aunt Lisa called to make sure we were headed to the hospital. We took off and Nana followed us so she would know where to go after you were born. They checked us in and sent us to the area of labor and delivery where they see if you are progressed enough to admit to the hospital. Our nurse Clara hooked me up to the monitors and of course my labor slowed way down. The monitor checking you said that you were doing just fine. When she checked my cervix I was 4-5 cm dilated and 70-80% effaced. She called Dr. Slack and he suggested that we walk around for 2 hours and get checked again, as I was right on the border of being progressed enough to stay. Your dad, Kathy and I did laps around the labor and delivery floor between 8 and 10:15 pm. My labor picked back up again and I was having pretty intense contractions every 4-6 minutes. Since I had found the toilet a comfortable place to relax during contractions, we asked if we could have a bedside commode with us. They brought us this huge bariatric bedside commode with no seat on it. Not exactly what I was thinking and after trying it a couple of times, I decided walking close to the bathroom and then going in during a contractions was a much better idea. I think I found every sitting place and leaned on every wall of the unit during those 2 hours. I handled the contractions and relaxed best by continuing to close my eyes, breath normally and focusing on telling my cervix to open up. Instead of tightening my bum, I tried to slightly push the other way. These 2 hours went by very quickly and we headed back to the room where Clara would check us again. Autumn, you were doing great and the contractions were doing their job, as I had opened up to 7 cm dilated. This meant that we got to stay at the hospital and that we were going to get to meet you very soon. After they told me that I was 7 cm I said that my reward was to get to lay in the big bathtub and take a break. Clara called ahead and they ran a nice warm bath for me to get into once we arrived at our room. At Mckee you get to stay in the same room the entire stay as they have everything you need for labor, delivery and postpartum. I lounged in the large jetted tub for about 45 minutes until Dr. Slack arrived. It felt so good to relax through contractions in the warm water. I would have stayed in there all night, but I really did want to meet you. I got out and headed back to the bed where Dr. Slack checked me. I was still at 7 cm as the zero gravity contractions didn't really get me any more open. At that point I knew I would need to walk around some more to get things going again. Dr. Slack offered to break my water as this would likely speed the labor up. He also noted that it would likely become more intense and painful as well. I think I looked at him like he was crazy and said no thank you, I think it is intense enough right now - I'll wait for it to break on it's own. The contractions while lying on the bed were quite miserable and the thought of intentionally making things hurt worse was not fathomable. I changed into the birthing skirt Kathy had given me and a tank top and the three of us headed for the hallway. I made it about 5 steps and had a very intense contraction, then another 3 steps and I stayed in that spot for 3 contractions. They were so intense that the time I gave myself for a break was only long enough for the next contraction and not long enough to take more steps. After the third one I waddled back to the room and got into the tub, sitting on the seat in the back. Your dad held the hand held shower over my belly and legs. Kathy got me a waterproof pillow to lean against, but staying in an upright position so gravity could help. Your dad was so great, he really helped me to stay calm as these contractions were of a variety I had not yet felt. Kathy's support, encouragement, comfort measures and presence was very helpful as well. After about 10 contractions in the shower I decided that I was ready for Dr. Slack to break my bag of waters. The contractions had gotten so intense that I was quite sure I wouldn't notice much more pain and so speeding things up would be okay. I sat on the toilet before I went out to the bed and had another 2 or 3 contractions. They yelled in at me, "You aren't pushing, are you." I assured them I was not and that I didn't want to have you in the toilet. Your dad came in to help me as I couldn't reach the toilet paper. I wanted more paper and this is when your dad thought I was in transition because I guess I was being quite demanding. I made it to the bed and Dr. Slack checked me and had everything ready to break my waters. When he checked I was at 9 1/2 and only one side of my cervix needed a little more opening to be complete and ready. He asked if I still wanted him to break my bag of waters, I didn't want to make the decision and so I didn't answer, hoping he'd just do whatever seemed the best. He went ahead and broke it and I could feel it slowly leak out. Then he had me roll onto my right side as it would help the side of my cervix that needed to dilate. I then had 3 incredibly intense contractions and couldn't help but start pushing. After the next one Dr. Slack asked if I still felt like pushing and I said yes. He then called in the baby nurse and a table full of tools. I then rolled back into the traditional pushing position. I had thought I would like to squat during the pushing stage, as it can open up your pelvis significantly, but the thought of trying to get on to my feet was unthinkable, so I decided I would try this first. After about 4 contractions of me trying to push and then stopping when the pain hit unbearable, Dr. Slack gave us a pep talk that went something like this. "Okay, you have done very well up to this point about getting into your Zen zone and relaxing during contractions. The pushing stage is very different, you need hold your breath long enough that you can use that force to push. You have to push through the pain as right now the baby is coming down just a little bit and then going right back up when you stop." Okay, I got it, if I was going to get this over with I needed to push past unbearable. I would try. About 5 or 6 contraction where I didn't let my breath out when it hurt too bad and you crowned, daddy could see your head and I felt you again. I was sneaky and took longer breaks and breathed through a couple of contractions until I was ready to push again. Between contractions Dr. Slack asked everyone if you were a boy or a girl. Everyone except for your dad and myself were correct. A couple of nights before we were reviewing the boy names we had picked and you kicked only for Andy Aaron. Obviously this didn't mean anything, but it was the only thing we had to guess from. Then right before you were born he had everyone guess your hair color. Mine was black when I was born, so I thought yours would be too. But you were born with beautiful golden colored hair about an inch and a half long. One more big push and your head came out. This was very intense, but Dr. Slack had me stop and asked if he could cut the cord before 90 seconds as it was wrapped around your neck twice. He quickly got to work and cut it off your neck and then had me push you out the rest of the way. He untangled you like a yoyo and your dad said it was like watching an air hockey puck as he unwrapped your cord from around your body and arm. He had you by your ankle and announced that you were a girl and then put you on my belly while the nurse worked on getting you breathing. Dr. Slack said you were the most entangled baby in your cord in the more than 2000 births he'd attended. We were very blessed that you still had enough cord to come out without it tightening. There you were, completely perfect in every way screaming and turning pink. I hate how this moment seems blurry to me now, it was a moment of so much joy, awe, relief that I had done it, exhaustion, exhilaration and complete wonder. You were finally in my arms. After you were born there were so many things to do. I birthed the placenta, they hooked my IV line into Pitocin to limit my bleeding, Dr Slack showed your dad the placenta and where I needed 2 tiny stitches because you decide to come out with your elbow up towards your ear. Before they weighed you, Dr. Slack had us all guess. Dad and I guessed over 7 pounds and the baby nurse shook his head because he knew you were much smaller than that. You were 6 pounds even. Then nurse Clara and I started to work on getting you breastfeeding. It took you a little while to get the hang of it as you wanted to stick your tongue out. Once you got the hang of it you were a champ, only losing 1 1/2 ounces. Most babies loose 4-10 ounces before starting to gain again.

Your dad called your grandparents to let them know we had you - Autumn Keanna Brown, 6 pounds, 19 1/2 inches born at 2:29 am September 8, 2009. We had not told anyone your first name. We both love the season of autumn when it is harvest time, the weather is cooling down, and the leaves are changing colors and it is a beautiful name. Keanna is a Hawaiian name meaning gracious - we wanted you to have a Hawaiian name because you were made in Hawaii and the time your dad and I spent in Hawaii is so very special to us. Your Great Grandma on your Nana's side was named Grace. Grace means unearned favors received from God. Our utmost prayer for you is that God's grace finds you and that you accept it fully.

Nana wanted to give you your first bath, so Granddad Larry and Nana got to the hospital about 30 minutes after you were born. After you had been on my chest over an hour, Nana and the nurse took you for your first bath. You were not much of a fan, but calmed right down after they got you dry and warm. Nana tried to make an old fashioned curl on top of your head with all the hair you had. We all thought it looked more like a mohawk, but now you have a picture like your mommy's newborn picture. After your bath I tried feeding you some more and then you fell asleep. Your dad got a couple hours of sleep, but I was on an adrenaline high and posted pictures of you and announced to all our family and friends that you had been born. I got about 45 minutes of sleep before starting our first day as your parents.

Autumn, welcome to our world, we are so excited to love you unconditionally, learn with you and experience life with you!!!

She is here!!!

Wow... it is slowly sinking in. Our baby girl Autumn has arrived, we are parents and our world will never be the same. We are so full of joy, full of love and amazement at the gift God has given us! Everything seems to stand still - she is so lovely, peaceful and cuddly!

We are now home and blessed by so many things - a good eater, plenty of milk, my mom to be our in home nursery - so we are all getting plenty of rest!! I don't think it could be much more perfect!

Now that she is here - I'm going to shut off my RSS feed from facebook. So if you would like to continue reading my thoughts on life as a mommy - feel free to check my blog every now and then - seeinggodsgoodness.blogspot.com I plan to post my birth story here soon and to keep a journal for myself of this time as a new mommy.

God bless you and thank you for all the well wishes and congratulations!!!

Closer!

Every moment is one moment closer for us to get to meet our baby. I am content, but things are happening that make it very real that we should not have to wait too much longer. However, patience is a virtue - because soon is not predictable. Soon could be tonight, soon could be tomorrow, soon could be next Saturday afternoon.

I think I can say I'm in labor, for several reasons - I've been having wicked contractions on a regular basis (every 20-30 minutes) for about 12 hours and they have not stopped. However, if they do stop then I would have to say I was never in labor, but having false labor. Every woman is so different - some go into hard labor immediately and have their baby in their arms in 3-5 hours, others can be in labor for days before the end prize is seen. At this point it is looking like I'm in the second camp - praying for things to speed up so I don't have to go too many nights on 25 minutes of sleep at a time.

So we wait - as patiently as we can - hoping and praying for more contractions that are closer together doing their job of getting everything open and ready. Although last night I kept thinking "why would I be hoping they get closer together, because that means more pain?" Now during the day I think the same thing, but have another logical thought that counters it with "because you want to meet your baby and that is the only way you get to!"

38 weeks and counting!!!

8 weeks, 19 weeks, 24 weeks, 31 weeks, 34 weeks, 38 weeks

My pregnancy count down now says 11 days! Crazy!!!!!!!!! By looking at the above pictures - it is believable that there is a 6-8 pound baby in that belly. I feel very blessed that I continue to sleep well - and I think I could sleep all day! Well maybe not, the last couple of nights I've had difficulty falling asleep at night and I think it is because of sleeping in and naps. Oh well, I guess I'll sleep when ever I can because any sort of a sleep schedule will be ruined here soon anyways.

My doctor returns from vacation on Monday, so after that I'm giving the baby permission to come anytime! I'm aiming for Friday - it is my best friend from HS's birthday and Monday is a holiday - so Aaron would get a paid day off in during his work absence! I won't put too much pressure on myself and the baby, but I like having goals!

So here we wait - any day now we will make the transition from a squirmy baby in the belly to one that is likely just as squirmy and a bit more audible in our arms.

Oh, here is my last set of Hawaii modest pregnancy pictures!!!!

0 weeks, 19 weeks, 23 weeks, 31 weeks, 38 weeks

Yummy Bran and Flax Muffins

I made these last night! Easy and yummy!

INGREDIENTS

* 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
* 3/4 cup whole wheat flour
* 3/4 cup ground flax seed
* 3/4 cup oat or wheat bran
* 3/4 cup brown sugar
* 2 teaspoons baking soda
* 1 teaspoon baking powder
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
* 3/4 cup skim milk
* 2 eggs, beaten
* 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
* 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
* 3/4 cup shredded carrots
* 1 1/2 cups chopped frozen mango

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease muffin pan or line with paper muffin liners.
2. In a large bowl, mix together flour, flax seed, oat bran, brown sugar, baking soda, baking powder, salt and cinnamon. Add the milk, eggs, vanilla and oil; mix until just blended. Stir in the carrots and mangos. Fill prepared muffin cups 2/3 full with batter.
3. Bake at 350 F (175 degrees C) for 15 to 20 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of a muffin comes out clean.

Good News

I had my ultrasound yesterday and found out from the Dr. today that everything is just fine. Baby is growing, placenta looks good and there is plenty of amniotic fluid. Even though I knew the chance that something was wrong was extremely low, there is so much peace in knowing. I think it added stress for me that my Dr. is going out of town for the next week, so if we did need to make any decisions, it needed to be before tomorrow. Praise the Lord, now we can just wait for the baby to make up his/her mind when would be a good time to come into our world.

I am not surprised, but I again found out that being patient is so hard for me. The ultrasound technician said that my Dr. office should be able to access the screen with in an hour of it being read. So I assumed I would know if it said everything was good or not yesterday. I called my Dr. office to let them know when it was complete, called again yesterday afternoon to find out all the Drs had left for the day and then this morning I talked to the nurse. Finally this afternoon they were able to tell me it looked good. In this age of instant gratification and instant knowledge, waiting 28 hours to know if I can wait contently for my body's timing or if they would want to induce labor, was not very much fun.

Almost full term!

I'll be full term on Wednesday! These last 8 1/2 months have completely flown by - especially this summer. Now all the summer events have passed and I need to pack our bag for the hospital, put the car seat in the car and finish up all the little things around the house. My sister in law held a fun baby shower for me this weekend and we got spoiled rotten. We are so appreciative to friends and family for pitching in and getting us set up!

So.... I saw the Dr. today and everything (blood pressure, baby's heart rate, my weight gain, no swelling) looks really good - except for my tummy is measuring small. Every visit they measure from your pubic bone to the top of your uterus and this height in centimeters should roughly correspond to your weeks gestation. I had been right on until about 34 weeks and now 2 weeks later I'm still small - so the Dr. wants to have an ultrasound just to make sure everything is okay. He did not seem too worried and said it is likely just a positional thing, but it is worth looking into - just in case it is something more serious like not enough amniotic fluid or the baby is not growing. So, I'll schedule the ultrasound for this week and we will be pray for the best and good decisions based on the information provided!

Anniversary Weekend

This weekend we celebrated 6 happy years of marriage! It is a bit crazy - walking down the isle, saying I do, eating Pecan Caramel Cheesecake and dancing the night away does not seem like it was that long ago! We had a nice relaxing time in Estes Park talking about the past and the future, hiking up Lily Mountain, eating yummy food next to the river, strolling through town, sitting next to the camp fire, getting jetted in our own cooled down hot tub and feeling the baby kick and move all over.

Here are a few of our best moments during year #5!

1. Finding out we were pregnant in our Kealakekua Ohana
2. Celebrating Aaron's 30th birthday
3. Evening walks on the beach in Maui watching the whales
4. Surfing together
5. Moving back into our home in Loveland





My crazy day!

Friday was our anniversary day and it was a crazy day! I felt like super women at the end of it. We found a Honda Accord here in Loveland that we wanted the dealer to check out and so after I dropped Aaron off at work I took it to Fort Collins for a full look over. It passed with flying colors! (oh, I gave up on the CR-V, we decided a civic or accord would be good for now). The couple selling it for their daughter were not going to be home until evening so I drop the car back off, got gas, picked up eggs and then went home to spend hours in the kitchen. Between 11-4 I made a homemade pizza, a cake from scratch (I wanted to do this for our anniversary and probably should have skipped it, but oh it was yummy!), sweet potato fries, packed all the food for the weekend, did all the dishes from cooking, packed our bags, took a shower, packed the car and took off to go get Aaron at work. We then stopped at the bank, got the money for the car, signed the bill of sale and took our our new car to Aaron's sisters for the weekend and then finally left for our anniversary retreat! I think I'll pass on anymore days like that for a while and take it easy until this little one comes along!

I'm now 35 1/2 weeks, am having more and more braxton hicks contractions and am getting bigger and bigger. This weekend I looked at a picture we had taken and gasped - "Wow - do I really look that big!" The comments continue and people are flat out funny around pregnant women. One guy asked my if I had 3 months left, which I replied nope only 5 weeks, then he said, oh - my wife is bigger than you and she has 3 months left. It was her 3rd pregnancy! At Walmart this week a guy refused to let me put my own groceries on the belt out of my cart. I bet he would have loved to see me carry them all into the house in one trip when I got home (-: